


Como Me Duele

by JavierDjarin



Category: Narcos (TV), Pedro Pascal - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Strong Language, canonical violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:34:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 56,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29320968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JavierDjarin/pseuds/JavierDjarin
Summary: You have spent the last six months unhappy. Your life fell apart around you, and nothing you did seemed to make it better. It wasn’t until you decided to move to Colombia and take a job at the local hospital did your life really start to turn around. You found yourself taking risks you never would have taken back home. However, you still felt like something, or someone, was missing from your life.Javier Peña seems to find it very difficult to stay away from you, despite numerous warnings from his good friend and partner, Steve Murphy. He knows the costs if this doesn’t work out, but he can’t help stepping up to the challenge of gaining your trust. He just worries that he won’t be able to replace the man you thought you loved and repair the damage that was done.
Relationships: Javier Peña/Reader
Comments: 7
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All Spanish Translations will be found at the bottom of each chapter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After your life fell apart six months ago, you decided it was time for a change. So, you moved to Colombia, taking a position at a local hospital. Your family thinks you’re insane, but The Murphys couldn’t be happier having you as their neighbor. Upon your first, and very brief, meeting with Agent Peña, you’ve captivated him. Despite Steve’s warnings, Javier still wants to get to know you on a more personal level.

**Your POV**

You had been living in Colombia for about a week, working at the hospital as a doctor. You had signed up for one of those Doctors Without Borders programs after you broke it off with your faithless, bastard of a fiancé. You needed a change of pace and a change of scenery - a way to forget about what happened. When he heard you were leaving, he accused you of running away from your problems instead of trying to fix them. Maybe he was right, but after catching him sleeping with your Maid of Honor, you knew there was no fixing your problems. You wanted to leave that life, the memories and pain, behind and find yourself somewhere new.

Your old college friend and roommate, Connie, told you about the hospital in Colombia and how it was in terrible need of assistance. Luckily for you, she had said, there was even an apartment in her building that had just opened up. You took this as a good sign and applied for the position. Your family, mother in particular, thought you had lost your mind. Colombia was dangerous; especially with the likes of Pablo Escobar running rampant. However, you reassured her that you weren’t alone since Connie and her husband Steve were down there and were going to be your neighbors in Bogotá. 

You moved down there in March, just before Spring. You decided to head down a few weeks early to get acclimated to the area and comfortable in your new apartment. Connie sat with you in the middle of your floor as you unpacked some boxes with a wine bottle between the two of you. “I’m so glad you took the job,” she said sipping on the red wine.

You smiled. “I had to get out of there. Everywhere I went, people stared at me, pitied me for what he did.”

Connie shook her head and took another drink. “I still can’t believe Michael did that to you. You guys had been together since undergrad!”

“I don’t know if his or Hannah’s betrayal hurt worse,” you sighed, taking a huge swig of wine, “but now I’m here ready to start over.” 

You froze as you pulled out a photo album from a box. It was your engagement photos. Instinctively, Connie reached for the album. “I’ll get rid of this.”

You pulled it back. “No. I want to keep it. It can always remind me that things could be worse.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. It’ll stay in this box forever, probably, but I’ll still have that reminder. No matter how bad things get, I didn’t marry a lying bastard.”

Connie laughed and held her wine glass up. “Cheers to that, girl.”

You pushed your glasses up on your face and stretched. “I have so much unpacking still, but it’s getting late.”

“I can stop by after work tomorrow if you want.”

“You sure Steve won’t mind?”

She shook her head. “He’s been working late these last few nights. But, if he is coming home early, I can have him pick up dinner for the three of us.”

You knew Steve was a DEA Agent and that he volunteered for this job when his partner in Miami was murdered. This move had been rough on Connie, but she loved her husband dearly and would follow him to the ends of the Earth. Your heart ached for that kind of love, but you knew that with the cards you had been dealt, you needed to wait for a new hand. “If he doesn’t mind, then Girls’ Night Round 2 will commence.”

There was a knock at the door. You looked puzzled at Connie. You literally only knew Connie and Steve down here, so you weren’t expecting anyone. You stood up from the floor and fixed the messy bun your hair was in. You opened the door and saw Steve standing there with another man. You had seen him before and figured he worked with Steve and lived nearby. “Hey, Y/N,” he said, giving you a hug and kiss on the cheek, “is Connie still here?”

“I’m in here, Steve,” she said holding up her glass of wine at him. 

“Ah, yes. I see you two are still catching up.”

You laughed. “Come on in. It’s not much, because we are still unpacking.”

Steve and his friend stepped inside. You adjusted your glasses again and grinned at him. The man behind Steve cleared his throat. “Oh, sorry. Y/N, this is my partner Javier Peña.”

You held out your hand for him to shake. He grabbed it and gave you a devilish grin. “Nice to meet you,” you said.

“Mucho gusto,” he said in Spanish. The syllables flowed off his tongue and almost had you melting where you stood. You could tell just by those two words he was exactly what you wanted to avoid. You glanced up at his dark brown eyes and smiled. No matter how good looking this man was, you needed to avoid him at all costs. He smelled like trouble.

You turned away and walked back into the room with Connie. “What did you need, honey?” she asked.

“We gotta fly out tonight,” he said, “to Medellín.”

She stood up. “For how long?”

He shrugged. “Few days probably.”

Connie sat her glass down. “Thank God I have Y/N to keep me company then.”

“I’m sure we can find plenty of trouble to get into while you’re gone,” you said with a grin. 

Steve laughed and shook his head. “Just don’t get too friendly with the local law enforcement while we are gone.”

“Hey,” you argued, “I haven’t been friendly with them since after I completed my residency.” You saw Javier’s eyebrows raise in curiosity, but you ignored him. “And even then I still talked my way out of the cell.”

“Connie, she’s not helping,” he said.

“I’ll keep her out of trouble. We will be more focused on setting up her apartment anyway.”

Smiling, Steve leaned in to kiss his wife. “I’ll call you when I can.”

“Be safe. Love you.”

“I love you, too.”

He and Javier walked out of the door. Before closing it behind him, Javier turned to you and said, “It was nice meeting you, Y/N.”

You smiled and nodded. “Likewise.”

You waited a few seconds before saying anything to Connie. “He radiates trouble.”

Connie sat back down on the ground and laughed. “You could say that. I love Javi, but he’s a little more trouble than you would want right now.”

“I doubt I’ll see much of him once I start working anyway.”

She grinned at you and took another sip of her wine.

**His POV**

He followed Steve down the stairs of their apartment complex without saying a word. It wasn’t until they reached his Jeep did Steve finally break the silence. “Okay, man, just say it,” he said.

“Say what?”

“I’m not a moron Peña.”

He grinned and started the car. Boston came on through the speaker. “I fucking love this band,” he said, cranking up the volume. 

Steve leaned over and turned it down. “Come on. I saw you look at her.”

“I had to when you introduced me.”

“Okay, but I saw you _look_ at her. Just promise me this, you won’t try anything with her. She’s one of Connie’s best friends and she’s been through enough. I don’t need my wife trying to murder my partner because he couldn’t keep it in his pants.”

Javier laughed and put his Jeep in drive. “With our schedule, I don’t think I’d have time to try anyway.”

Steve let out an audible, annoyed sigh. He knew that was Peña’s way of getting around making any promises. Luckily, he knew Y/N well enough to know she could hold her own. If she didn’t want a man to fuck with her, she’d let them have it. Part of him wanted to see her give Peña’s ego a reality check, but the other part didn’t want him anywhere near her. 

They rode in silence for a little while, and Javier’s mind began to wander. In her messy bun, glasses, oversized concert shirt, and short shorts, she was the sexiest woman he’d seen. He wanted to run his hands down over her round, plump ass and pull her down on his lap, devouring as much of her as he could. He could still feel her soft, delicate hand in his while she gave him a nice firm handshake. He pictured taking each of those fingers and nibbling on them before he worked his way to her wrist and up the rest of her arm. These thoughts made him a little uncomfortable and he adjusted in his seat.

Steve looked at him, disgusted. “I know what you’re thinking about. Find the local whorehouse when we get to Medellín, please, so you can get this out of your system.”

Javier rolled his eyes. “I can’t help it. You didn’t warn me that your wife’s friend looked like that!”

Steve rested his hand in his hand near the window. “Look, man, she will destroy you. Trust me, she wants nothing to do with your shit right now. I’m pretty sure she hates all men.”

“What happened?”

“Her piece of shit fiancé slept with her Maid of Honor about two months before the wedding.”

“Oh shit.”

“Yeah. So leave her alone.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t do anything that will make her regret moving to Bogotá.”

He did it again. Made a promise without making a promise he would break. Steve leaned forward and turned the music up a little bit. An Aerosmith song was playing now and offered as a nice distraction from their current topic. Steve knew there was no way he would get Javier to promise he wouldn’t try to sleep with Y/N. 

**Your POV**

Just as she promised, Connie came over after work to help you finish setting up your apartment. You had everything out of the boxes, now and were working on organizing things. Connie walked in with food from a local bar just down the street and some more wine. “I figured if Steve is still gone tomorrow, we can go out with a few people from the hospital. It’ll be a great chance for you to meet everyone.”

You took a bite of your food. “Just let me know what time.”

“The staff is wonderful down here. How’s your Spanish?”

“Rusty, but I think I can manage.”

“Great! I’ll come by after work tomorrow to come get you. It’s just a short walk from here.”

You finished your dinner and downed a glass of wine. Connie noticed when she walked in that you were a little off. She noticed how puffy and red your eyes were, but she figured that was from wearing contacts all day. “Is everything okay?”

You sighed and put your head in your hands. “Michael called this afternoon. He was begging me to come home and work it out.”

“How did he get your number?”

You shrugged. “I have no idea. I want to say my mother, but there’s no way she would have given it to him. He wants to burn him alive for what he did to me.”

“What did you tell him?”

“To fuck off.” You tried to fake a smile, but it didn’t work.

Connie caught on. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through. But you don’t have to deal with him anymore. He’s out of your life now. You’re somewhere new, ready to move on.”

Sighing, you took another sip of your wine. “It’s not that simple, Connie. We were together through undergrad, through med school. I thought he was it. The love of my life. I can’t just forget that.”

She reached forward and grabbed your hand. “I know, but don’t let him get to you. Who knows how long they were fucking before you caught them.”

“A year. Or so he says.”

“A year! You were engaged for almost a year!”

You felt the tears brimming in your eyes, ready to stream down your cheeks. “I know. I still have more questions than he had answers.”

“When I told Steve what happened, he was ready to fly home and murder Michael himself.”

You smiled. “Tell him he can take a number.”

Connie laughed. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “It’s fine,” you said, “I don’t know what I would have done if Kate wasn’t there.”

She came around the counter and wrapped an arm around you, putting her head on your shoulder. “She should come down once you’re settled. I miss her.”

“I told her that once I was moved in, I would give her a call.”

She smiled and clapped her hands. “It’ll be just like senior year!”

You grabbed the dishes and placed them in your sink, scrubbing the food off them before letting them dry. Connie moved into your living room and started organizing all of your books by genre. “I can’t believe you brought all of these,” she said. 

“I only brought my favorites!” You defended. 

The bookshelves were set up comfortably around your TV set and were just barely big enough to house all of your books. You followed behind Connie placing picture frames and knick-knacks on the shelves to give your little library more character. You stopped when you found a picture that was taken of your med school graduation. You and Connie were surrounded by your friends with Steve clinging to her side…and Michael to yours. It was one of your favorite pictures, but now it only brought back the pain. You gently set it on the second shelf, at eye level for you. Connie watched you stare at it and felt her heart break for you. She waited for you to say something first. “What hurts the most is remembering all of the moments like these. The nostalgia of when we were happy and in love.”

Connie walked over to you and rested her hand on your back. “We had so much fun that night,” she smiled. 

“And given what I know, I would do it all over again.”

The phone rang, startling both of you. You rolled your eyes. “I’ll answer it,” Connie said.

She walked to the wall where you mounted your phone and picked up the line. “Hello?”

“Y/N?” A familiar masculine voice said on the other end. 

“She’s busy,” Connie dryly replied. 

“Oh, it’s you, Connie.”

“She doesn’t want to talk to you, Michael. So, stop calling here.”

“You don’t understand. I need her back. I cannot do this without her.”

“Well, you should have thought about before you started fucking Hannah.”

“I made a mistake,” he pleaded.

“Clearly you weren’t that sorry if you kept going back.”

She heard him sigh through the receiver. “This is between me and Y/N. Give her the phone.”

“She’s getting ready. We’re heading out with Steve and his partner Javi for the evening to celebrate her leaving your worthless ass.”

“Wait. Javi-” she slammed the receiver on the wall and turned to face you. 

“Now that’s settled, back to decorating.” She was obviously very proud of herself.

“Javi?” You grinned.

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. It’s not like he’s going to come down here to bring you home.”

You laughed. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” She finished putting the books away for you before going to the stacks of pictures on the floor. “Y/N, we need to update some of these.”

“Let’s do it!” You saw Connie taking the photos out of frames and making piles of them on your side table. She laid them neatly inside the drawer. She, then, started hanging up the empty frames. “What are you doing?”

“That way you remember that we should update them with pictures down here.”

You smiled at her. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

**His POV**

They were on a stake out just outside of a rundown building that they believed was one of Escobar’s operations. They needed to find proof that Escobar was in fact a Narcos to help derail his political ambitions. Javi sat in the passenger seat staring out the window, finding it hard to keep his eyes open. “Hey,” Steve said, “wake up. I’m not going to sit here on this stake out on my own.”

Javier grumbled and sat up in his seat. “Look, no one has come in or out of this building for hours. I think we need to throw it in. We got bad information.”

Steve leaned his head back on the headrest and sighed. “You might be right. I don’t know what’s worse. This or sitting back at the office going through paperwork.”

He laughed and grabbed a cigarette to light. “I’ve been thinking…”

“Oh great. I absolutely _love_ it when you do that.”

Javier rolled his eyes. “I think Connie’s friend needs a good distraction to forget what that piece of shit fiancé did to her.”

“Are we seriously going to talk about this again?”

“Come on, Steve. You can’t forbid me from talking to her. That makes her like…” he paused, trying to think of the appropriate metaphor, “forbidden fruit.”

“Forbidden Fruit?” Steve laughed. “Jesus Christ.”

“You know that just makes her that much sexier to me.”

Steve adjusted in his seat to look at his partner. “I can’t even pretend to be surprised by this. Shouldn’t you be more worried about your…ahem…contacts?”

Javier gave him a devilish grin. “Just introduce us. Properly, this time. Not just in passing like you did.”

He shook his head. “Nope. You’re going to have to ask Connie for that. I refuse to get involved.”

Javier let out an exasperated sigh and flicked some of his ashes out of the window. “I’ll just do it myself.”

Steve knew that Javier was a persistent bastard, especially when he set his mind to something. Had this been ten years ago, he might have actually considered setting the two of them up. She was his type, and fiery enough to keep Javier on his toes. But now? He’d known both her and Michael for years. He knew how in love they were, and how she would do anything to make him happy. Javier would only make her life more complicated right now, and he didn’t want to put her through any more shit. “Peña, I seriously suggest you leave her alone. Her life fell apart only a few months ago. Connie said she broke down more than once unpacking her things. She’s not going to just jump into bed with you after the one person she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with broke her heart. Hell, I doubt she’s ever going to trust anyone ever again. They were together for eight years before he popped the question. You can’t forget someone like that.”

Javier took a minute to think on what Steve said. It wasn’t too long ago when he broke his own bride’s trust, leaving her at the altar, embarrassed and alone. Several months after things cooled down from the incident, he asked his father about Lorraine. She was distraught. After all, they were together for almost as long, if not longer than Y/N and her fiancé. He never knew if she found someone and moved on with her life. He couldn’t bring himself to digging into her, for fear of her finding out. He had done enough damage. It was then that he understood the pain Y/N harbored. “Fine, you fucking hillbilly. You’ve made your point. I don’t want to cause her anymore pain.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’ve started getting comfortable in Colombia. Connie and Steve decide to take you out on the town to meet up with some of your new coworkers. Javier can’t help but tag along once he sees you dressed to kill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Language, Sexual Innuendos, fluff, Dad!Steve (sorta)

**Your POV**

You’d been living comfortably in your apartment for a week now and weren’t scheduled to start working at the hospital until the end of the month. However, thanks to Connie, you had gotten to know several of the staff members that worked there because you had gone out with them last Friday. Connie had invited you to go out with her and some colleagues tonight. They decided to go dancing down at a club in the middle of the city. You were a little nervous to go out dancing with people you hardly knew, but she reassured you that she and Steve would both be there if you needed anything. 

You spent hours trying to find something to wear, when you had reached back into the far corner of your closet and found the ONE dancing dress you owned. It was a tight, body-con red dress with a deep V-neck you had worn only once before. Michael didn’t take you dancing very often; it wasn’t really his scene, but you loved it. As a birthday gift a few years ago, he broke down and took you dancing. He even bought this dress for you. You felt your heart crack a little as you looked at it on the hanger. It was all you had to wear though. You set it on your bed and went into the bathroom to do your hair and make-up. You popped your contacts in and began the long process of getting ready.

Connie and Steve were supposed to arrive at your place in about fifteen minutes. You put the final touch - hairspray - on your loose curls that flowed down your back and shoulders. You smiled at yourself in the mirror. This was the first time you felt beautiful in a long time. You knew it was small, but you felt like this was your actual first step you were taking to move on. There was a knock on your door. You hurried out of your bathroom, grabbing your small clutch. You fixed your hair and dress one final time before opening the door. Connie and Steve were standing there, astonished. “Y/N, you look great!” Connie exclaimed. She was wearing her own dress, but not quite as tight and low cut as yours.

You felt the sudden urge to cover yourself as Steve’s eyes grew wide. “I guess this is a giant ‘fuck you’ to Michael,” he laughed.

You tried to smile at him. “This is the dress he bought me for my birthday a few years ago.”

Connie wrapped her arm through yours. “Perfect. We’ll find you someone that will happily defile that dress for him.”

You laughed this time and felt more confident than ever. Steve led the way down the stairs as you locked the door behind you. “Murphy,” you heard a familiar baritone voice just down the stairwell say, “you clean up nice for a fucking hillbilly.”

“Fuck you, Peña.”

Your heart raced a little, but you couldn’t explain why. You did your best to hide it and held your head high as you walked with Connie down the stairs.

  
“Where are you headed?”

“I’m taking the girls out to meet some friends.”

“You don’t have any friends,” Peña laughed.

“Again. Fuck you, Peña.”

He continued to laugh, but stopped when he saw you descending the stairs. You weren’t sure if he was aware that his mouth fell open when he looked at you, but he was definitely aware of the blush on your cheeks. He smiled as soon as you tried to look away from him. “Alguien está vestida para matar,” he said, still looking at you, clearly trying to imagine what that dress would look like on his floor. Any time you heard him speak in Spanish, you wanted to melt into the floor, especially when he rolled his r’s. 

“Tú, si no tienes cuidado,” you said quickly.

Impressed, he nodded his head towards you. “I guess I need to watch what I say in both languages.”

You glanced over at him through your long eyelashes and gave him the same devilish grin he gave you the first time you met. You tried to maintain your cool composure, but his black button down shirt clung to his broad chest and stretched over his arms, making your knees even weaker. You didn’t see Connie and Steve share a look as they tried to stifle a laugh. They both knew that Javier was going to have his hands full if he made any moves on you. He tore his eyes away from yours and cleared his throat. “Well, since you’re meeting with friends, I better come along.”

“Peña, don’t I get enough of you at the office?” Steve prodded.

Javier tossed his arm around Steve. “Oh, come on, _partner_. We’re friends.”

Connie and you covered your mouths to mask your smiles and quiet laughs. Javier shot a glance over at you, raking his eyes up and down your body. You wanted to feel self-conscious, but you’d never felt so desired before. Michael hadn’t looked at you like that in a long time, so it was refreshing to know you still had - better yet, you never lost it. You wrapped your arm through Connie’s as you both followed Steve out of the building. Javier, stumbling, was walking behind you. Instinctively, and just to torture him, you moved your hips just a tad more seductively. You glanced over your shoulder at him, catching him stopping on the top step to watch you walk away. “¡Muévete, Peña!” you shouted, startling him out of the trance your hips put him in. 

Connie laughed again and leaned closer to your ear. “I know I said to ignore him, but this is so much more entertaining,” she whispered.

“He’s not even trying to be subtle,” you laughed, looking back at him.

“Hey, now, ladies. Secrets don’t make friends,” he replied as he jogged down the stairs.

“They do when they’re about someone else,” you grinned.

He raised his eyebrow in curiosity. You guys made it the stoop of your building as you waited for Steve to pull his car around. “Care to share?” he asked.

You shook your head. “No.”

Javier looked to Connie for help, but she just laughed. Steve pulled the car around and hopped out. Javier beat you to the door and held it open for you. “So, you’re a gentleman too?” you chided. 

“Tengo más sorpresas si me dejas enseñarte,” he whispered to you as you slid past him. His breath tickled the back of your neck, sending chills up and down your spine. 

“No espere mucho,” you said back, once he took the seat next to you.

You saw Steve shake his head and look at Connie, rolling his eyes. She gave him a look back that you guessed only meant, “At least she’s having fun. Just let it be.”

You tried to find the best way to sit in such a tight dress. The hem slid up your legs just a tad, but enough that you knew it would drive Javier wild. You crossed your legs, revealing more of your thigh as you pretended to look out the window - using your peripheral vision to watch Javier salivate all over himself.

**His POV**

He threw his arm over the back of the seat and rested the other on the door, looking at her poised so perfectly in the back seat with him. He knew she was doing everything on purpose, because he wasn’t good at hiding his emotions around a very beautiful woman. Honestly, they were his kryptonite. One glance his way, and Y/N had him. He vaguely remembered his promise to Steve, but if she was playing along with this little game, he couldn’t _not_ give her what she wanted. After all, she would tell him to leave her alone, if she wasn’t interested. He picked up on that just by her fiery personality. Javi glanced up at Steve for a millisecond, and he could see him watching him in the rearview mirror. Peña flipped him off subtly and continued to watch her. Steve and Connie were lost in their own conversation, so Javi turned to her to start his own. He lightly cleared his throat to get her attention. She slowly, gracefully turned to look at him - her curls moving across her bare shoulder and bouncing next to her arm. “Cat got your tongue?” she asks with a smile that just about killed him on the spot.

“Nope,” he grinned, shooting another glance at Steve, who was still occasionally looking back at them. “Mia hermosa.”

She rolled her eyes at the cheesy nickname he coined for her. She turned to look back out the window. “Where are you from?” he asked, leaning closer to her. 

She changed positions, crossing her other leg to face Javi. His eyes couldn’t help but drop to the deep V in her dress. “Los ojos arriba,” she said, glaring at him. 

Javi moved his other hand to the middle seat, closer to her thigh. “You didn’t answer the question,” he grinned.

“Texas,” she replied.

He smirked. “Yo soy de Texas tambien.” His hand on the seat moved a little to play with one of her curls.

“What part?” she asked.

“Laredo.”

“Ah, El Paso.” She gestured to herself. 

His grin widened a little as he moved his hand closer to her.

“Peña!” Steve exclaimed from the front seat.

Y/N covered her mouth and laughed, as Javier moved back a little from her. “Sorry, _Dad_.”

“She doesn’t want you groping her,” Steve said through his teeth.

Connie slapped her husband’s shoulder. “Steve!”

“What! Do you want him back there harassing your best friend?”

“She’s a big girl,” he said, turning his attention back to Y/N, “Me dirá si no quiere la toque.”

He saw her try not to swoon over his Spanish. “He’s harmless, Steve,” she said, looking Javier in the eyes. “I was about to slap him away if you didn’t.”

Javier thought he saw her wink at him, but it was so fast he thought he imagined it 

*******

Steve parked the car just outside of the club. Javier jumped out fast to get the door for her. Her small, soft hand fit perfectly into his as she held on to him to stand up. “Gracias, _hermoso_ ,” She said in a sarcastic, seductive tone.

He placed his hand in the small of her back as they followed Steve and Connie to the door. “Don’t get ahead of yourself there, cowboy,” she whispered.

He grinned. Once inside, Connie grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the table where several doctors and nurses were waiting for them. Javier stood next to Steve and sighed. He watched her sit next to an attractive young doctor, who had his arm draped over the back of the booth just above her. “Who’s that guy?” Javier asked.

“Some doctor Connie works with.”

“Oh, so it’s fine if Connie’s colleagues hit on her, but if I do, the world ends.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “That’s _exactly_ what will happen.”

“Then what is it?” Peña pleaded.

His partner led him to the bar, where they sat down away from the group. “You remind Connie and I of her ex,” he sighed, “and if you remind us of him, you’re definitely a reminder for her.”

Peña grabbed the glass of whisky the bartender dropped off. “Well, I’m not her ex. I’m not a piece of shit that will cheat on her.”

Steve choked on his drink. “You’re kidding, right?” Peña looked at him, offended, “Look, you can hardly keep the same woman in your bed for more than two weeks, _and_ aren’t you a regular down at the brothel?”

He knew Steve was right, and he hardly knew her enough to say he’d give all of that up. For all he knew, he just wanted her to be another notch on his bedpost. He turned in his chair and leaned his back against the bar. “But look at her.” He saw her glancing over at him with a smile, and his heart stopped. “I think you need to let her make that decision.”

“Peña,” he said, “Connie already warned her about you. She loves you, but she doesn’t think you’re right for her best friend.”

“I think Y/N disagrees, because here she comes,” he grinned, finishing his drink and setting it on the bar.

“Secrets don’t make friends,” she said to him.

“They do when they’re about someone else,” he replied, giving her a taste of her own medicine.

She laughed, and he felt his heart start again. It was the most angelic sound he’d ever heard. “There’s plenty of room for both of you at the table,” she said.

The young doctor came up from behind her and placed a hand on her back. Javi tensed up and clenched his jaw, instantly jealous of this doctor. “¿Quieres bailar conmigo?” he said in her ear.

She grinned and turned to face him. “Sí. Uno momento, por favor.”

She turned back to Javi. “Lo siento. Anyway, Connie told me to tell you both to stop being fuddy duddies and come to the table.”

Steve sighed and resigned to doing his wife’s wishes. Javi held back for a moment. “¿Quien es ese cabrón?”

Y/N blushed and looked over to her dance partner. “Dr. Rodriguez. He’s new to the hospital too. Kinda cute, don’t you think?” She nudged Javi in the side.

Javi let out a disgruntled growl. “Yeah, if you’re into the lost puppy look.”

“Oh, you mean like the look you’re always giving me?” She walked away with the same gait she had at the apartment complex. 

He was only pulled out of his trance when he heard Steve yell for him from across the bar. “Peña, get your ass over here!”

He rolled his eyes and joined them, taking Dr. Rodriguez’s seat next to a cute, young nurse. On any normal night, he would be making his moves on the nurse, but not with Y/N distracting him. He looked out at the dance floor and saw the _cabrón_ holding her closer than he would have liked. She spun around so she was facing him, but continued dancing with the doctor. Rodriguez wrapped his arm around her, pulling her in closer as his hand rested on her lower abdomen. Javi’s hand balled into a fist. He turned to the nurse next to him and smiled. “¿Quieres bailar conmigo?” he whispered delicately in her ear.

She smiled at him and involuntarily licked her bottom lip. She daintily held her hand out for him to take and lead her to the dance floor. More people flooded the dance floor, including Steve and Connie. He grabbed the nurse, holding her close to him so he could look over her shoulder at Y/N.

**Your POV**

You watched Javi dance and move against Lolita, the nurse, and you felt your face turn red. You haven’t dated in a while, but you knew this feeling. You were jealous, and you knew just how to get him back. You placed Rodriguez’s hands on your hips, letting him pull you closer as you moved to his rhythm. Despite you doing this to annoy Javi, this felt good. You hadn’t been touched by a man in months. You were so touch starved that you were borderline desperate. 

**His POV**

Javi felt his face flush, so he buried his face in the nurse’s hair and let his hands travel down her body. Lolita pulled away and rested her forehead on his as she smiled. He tried looking around her so he could still watch Y/N. He felt like shit using this poor woman to get to her, but she had left him no other choice. He saw her reach up a hand behind her and place it on Rodriguez’s face as she laid her head back on his chest. Rodriguez then buried his face in the base of her neck. At that point, Javi had enough. “Lo siento. No puedo hacer esto.” He dropped his hands from the nurse and started to approach Y/N and Rodriguez.

**Your POV**

You had closed your eyes as soon as Rodriguez started kissing your neck. Thank god for the loud music, because you were pretty sure you let out a small moan. You were on cloud nine when you suddenly heard a loud baritone voice boom over you, “¡Oye, cabrón! Ella esta conmigo.” You opened your eyes and saw a very flushed Javi standing in front of you.

“Javi!” you exclaimed, it’s the first time you had called him by a nickname.

“Dance with me,” he demanded.

You turned to Dr. Rodriguez who was looking very confused at the two of you. “¿Estás con él?” he asked.

“Vine con él pero no estoy con él.”

“Ella esta conmigo,” Javi growled.

His growl turned something in you, and you leapt out of Rodriguez’s arms into Javi’s without a second thought. Rodriguez held his hands up in defeat and dutifully bowed out of the dance. “What the fuck!” You exclaimed.

“Javi…?” he grinned at the use of a nickname.

“What? Connie calls you that.”

He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close. “If anyone gets to dance with you like that, it’s me.”

“That’s if I want to dance with you,” you replied, throwing your arms around his neck, playing with the small curls at the base of his skull.

“Then walk away.” His breath on your skin sent more chills down your spine. 

“I also don’t like being told what to do.” You felt his hands rest on your hips. “Just because I let you dance with me, doesn’t mean I’m going to let you take me home.”

He laughed. You could listen to him laugh forever. “Are you going to dance with me, or just stand there trying to see down my dress?”

“I can do both at the same time if you’d like,” he grinned.

“I knew you’d be trouble when I first met you.”

“Por siempre y para siempre, hermosa.”

***

It was at least three in the morning when everyone stumbled back to the apartment. Connie had had too much to drink, and so Steve was carrying her up to their apartment leaving you and Javi alone in the stairwell. “So…?” he started, raising an eyebrow at you suggestively. 

You put a hand on his chest, preventing him from joining you on the same step. “Hold on there, cowboy. I may be drunk, but not too drunk to remember telling you that you’re not taking me home tonight.”

He grinned. “Tonight? So you’re saying there’s a chance later.”

You leaned down and kissed his cheek. “Thanks for a fun night, Javi. I haven’t had this much fun since…” You paused.

You wanted to explain, but you felt like he already knew. He rubbed your arm to console you and nodded. “Any time, Y/N. That’s what friends are for.”

Smiling, you replied, “So we’re friends now? Five seconds ago, I do believe you were trying to look down my dress again.”

Javi blushed. “We’re friends, until you decide to change that.” He returned the kiss on your cheek and walked into his apartment.

You felt butterflies in your stomach as you watched him close his door for the night. This was not how you were expecting this interaction to end, but you couldn’t feel happier. Javi made you feel sexy, wanted, and since Michael cheated on you, you never felt like you were enough. You craved to have Javi look at you, like he did when he first saw you walk down the stairs. He made you feel like a beautiful woman again who deserved every bit of attention he was giving her. However, your wounds were still too fresh. You weren’t ready for anything like that. On top of that, Javi reminded you too much of the early days when you and Michael were together. A few times, while you were dancing, that’s who you pictured was holding you. But Michael had stopped being that man long before he cheated. Men like him were always the same. Restless. Unfaithful. Just looking for another notch on their bedpost. 

**Translations**

  * _Hermoso/Hermosa - Handsome/Beautiful_
  * _Alguien está vestida para matar. - Someone is dressed to kill._
  * _Tú, si no tienes cuidado. - You, if you’re not careful.  
_
  * _¡Muévete! - Look alive! or Hurry up!  
_
  * _Tengo más sorpresas si me dejas enseñarte. - I have more surprises if you’ll let me show you.  
_
  * _No espere mucho. - Literally: Don’t wait long. It’s another way to say “Don’t hold your breath.”  
_
  * _Los ojos arriba. - Eyes up here.  
_
  * _Yo soy de Texas tambien. - I’m from Texas too._
  * _Me dirá si no quiere la toque. - She’ll tell me if she doesn’t want me to touch her.  
_
  * _¿Quieres bailar conmigo? - Do you want to dance with me?  
_
  * _Sí. Uno momento, por favor. - Yes, just one minute, please.  
_
  * _Lo siento. - I’m sorry.  
_
  * _¿Quien es ese cabrón? - Who is that asshole?  
_
  * _No puedo hacer esto. - I can’t do this.  
_
  * _¡Oye, cabrón! Ella esta conmigo. - Hey, asshole! She’s with me.  
_
  * _¿Estás con él? - Are you with him?  
_
  * _Vine con él pero no estoy con él. - I came with him, but I’m not with him.  
_
  * _Por siempre y para siempre, hermosa. - Forever and for always, beautiful._




	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate is coming in to town. She wants to visit you before you start your job. Meanwhile, tensions are rising with Pablo Escobar, and so Javi doesn’t want to let you wander around Bogotá alone. He also does something that he thinks both of you will regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Language, Sexual Innuendos, fluff

**Your POV  
**

A few days later you woke up in a panic. Kate was coming into town, as promised, and you needed to rush to the airport to get her. You, Connie, Kate, and Hannah were all housemates and best friends in college. Now, things were different. Hannah betrayed that sisterly bond the four of your shared, and she was basically an outcast in your circle. Kate, whom you looked up to as a big sister, always looked out for you. She promised that as soon as you were settled, she would come visit. You called her the day before you had gone out to the club, and she dropped everything to buy the cheapest and next flight out of Texas.

You overslept today, because you had actually spent the night with Javi. No, not like that. He invited you over for dinner, as just friends. However, you also drank way too much and ended up crawling back to your apartment really late. Your hangover was the worst thing you’d experienced in your life. You didn’t bother putting on make-up before leaving your apartment to go get her. Instead, you pulled your hair back in a messy bun, tossed on your favorite concert T-shirt (Boston), and a pair of shorts. You dug for your sunglasses in your purse before you called for a taxi to pick you up. They would be there in fifteen minutes, which was perfect. It gave you plenty of time to eat something light and pop a few Tylenol before heading downstairs.

As you locked the door behind you, you heard a wolf whistle. Slowly, you turned around, knowing Javi was standing behind you with that same shit eating grin he always has plastered on his face every time he sees you. “Rough night last night?” he asked.

“You’re not funny,” you mumbled, “I feel like I’ve been hit by a train.”

He laughed a little and wrapped his arm around you. He had obviously just gotten out of the shower, because his cologne was fresh. Mixing with his own musky scent, the smell made you drunk all over again. Luckily this time you could blame the weak knees on your excruciating headache. You let yourself lean into his side just a little. “Where are you headed, hermosa?”

“Airport.” That was all you could muster, this time you didn’t know if it was because of your hangover or his intoxicating presence. 

“Oh right. You have to go pick up Kate.”

You looked at him over the rim of your sunglasses. 

“You told me all about how she was coming in to visit last night, remember.”

You nodded. “My taxi will be here soon.” You tried to push yourself away from him, but he held on.

“Nonsense. Steve is taking care of something for me, so I can run a little late.”

Okay. Now you were swooning. Thank god for those sunglasses. “You really don’t have to.”

“I know,” he smiled, “I want to. Taxis here are the worst. I’d rather make sure you’re safe.”

You walked down the stairs with him, but he still held onto you. You noticed he was a little on edge when you stepped outside as he glanced around, almost like he was waiting to be ambushed. “Javi…” you started.

“Go ahead and get in the car. I’ll tell your taxi they aren’t needed.”

You wrapped your arms around yourself and walked into the garage to get in his Jeep. You slid into the passenger seat as you waited for him to join you. Looking in the rearview mirror, you saw him with his gun drawn walking backwards into the garage. As he opened the door, he turned the safety back on and placed it in between the two of you. “Care to share what the fuck you’re doing?” you asked, slightly annoyed.

“Things are just getting a little more…intense with Escobar. They won’t dare touch a DEA Agent, but _you’re_ not DEA.”

“Yeah, so why would they fuck with me?”

“Because you live in our building and spend a lot of time with us,” he sighed, “Don’t worry. I won’t let anything happen to you, hermosa.”

You smiled. His cheesy pet name for you was starting to grow on you. “Is that why you didn’t want me taking a cab?”

He put the Jeep in reverse and backed out of the garage. “If something happened to you and I was there to stop it, Steve and Connie would kill me where I stood.”

You looked at him with big puppy eyes as he started down the street towards the airport. “Is that the only reason you are chauffeuring me?”

He smiled at you. “Don’t give me those eyes. You know I can’t resist them.”

You leaned over and put your head on Javi’s shoulder, still looking up at him. “Admit it, you care.”

He moved his shoulder and playfully pushed you away. “Alright, fine. I care. After all, we are _friends_.”

You laughed and squeezed his hand that was resting near his gun. “I know you do.”

Javi moved his hand away from yours and onto the steering wheel. The atmosphere changed rapidly in the Jeep, and it scared you. You noticed he was more tense. The veins in his arms seemed to swell as he clenched and unclenched the steering wheel. His left leg kept bobbing up and down nervously. “Javi…” your voice brought him back to Earth. “Tranquilo, hermoso. Todo esta bien.”

He glanced over to you before looking back at the road. “Yo sé, hermosa. Estas segura.”

You felt your heart swell just a little. You had grown close to him since the night of the club, although you were weary of him. You knew his intentions since that night, and you also knew his type. You weren’t prepared to get hurt again by someone who just looks for the next easy lay. But, you did respect him as a friend, because he was a good one. Loyal to the end, or at least you figured. As much as he and Steve would argue like an old married couple, he had Steve’s back regardless.

You leaned back in your seat just a little to alleviate the headache. You saw Javi glance over at you and smile. “What?”

“They’re my favorite band, you know?”

“Who?”

“Boston.”

You rolled over onto your side a little to look at him. “Seriously?”

“Fuck yeah. ‘Rock & Roll Band’ and ‘Let Me Take You Home Tonight’ are my favorite songs.”

You sighed. “‘More Than a Feeling’ is hard to beat though. Next to Boston though, I love Fleetwood.”

He took his right hand and held it over his chest. “A girl after my own heart.”

Laughing, you started humming ‘Rhiannon’ softly and closed your eyes. You crack one eye open and see Javi singing along just as softly:

> _Rhiannon rings like a bell through the night and  
>  Wouldn’t you love to love her?  
> Takes to the sky like a bird in flight and  
> Who will be her lover?_
> 
> _  
> All your life you’ve never seen  
>  A woman taken by the wind  
> Would you stay if she promised you heaven?  
> Will you ever win?_

You both sang through a few songs before making it to the airport. “I can take a cab back home,” you said.

“I don’t mind waiting,” he replied, smiling at you. “Like I said, Steve’s taking care of it right now. So, I can afford to be late.”

Javi pulled into a front parking spot. “I’ll wait here for you guys.”

Smiling, you kissed his cheek. “Thanks, again, Javi.” You opened the Jeep door and bounced across the busy street to find Kate. Her plane had just landed, thank god. So, you patiently waited to see her walk down to baggage claim. ‘Rhiannon’ was stuck in your head, along with the look Javi gave you when you both sang _“who will be her lover.”_ You knew you had a small crush on him, but you couldn’t risk the pain. The last time you dated a friend, you ended up leaving him for Colombia. You didn’t want to feel that kind of pain again.

“Y/N!” You hear, bringing you out of your thoughts. 

Your attention is drawn to the sight of a young woman running down a set of stairs towards you with a backpack on and arms spread. “Kate!” You ran to meet her half way and hugged as soon as the two of you came into contact.

“I am SO happy to see you. You look amazing!” she gushed. “Colombia looks good on you.”

You chuckled. “You’re kidding, right? I’m hungover as shit and have no make-up on.”

She smiled and hugged you again. “Well, you still look good, hungover and all.”

Shaking your head, you grabbed her suitcase. “How was your flight?”

“Long! I slept for most of it.”

You debated on warning her about your chauffeur. You had told her about Javier, but you knew if you let it be a surprise, he’d know all about your crush on him. As you neared the doors, you saw him standing outside his Jeep, leaning against it with his strong arms folded across his chest. Instantly, your knees wanted to buckle. You grabbed Kate’s wrist and steered her away from the doors towards the bathroom. “What are you doing?” she asked. 

Once you were certain he couldn’t see you, you turned to face her. “So, I wasn’t able to get a taxi to bring me here.”

She looked at you bewildered. “Did you _walk_ here?”

“No,” you replied, your voice ten octaves higher than normal.

“Connie and Steve bring you?”

“Um, no.”

“Then what? Did you rent a personal chauffeur?”

You had to laugh at the last question. “Not exactly. I, uh, got a ride from Javi.”

She froze and then grinned at you once she realized what you said. “As in, Javier, your _neighbor_? The hot DEA Agent that works with Steve.”

“Shh! Will you shut up?”

“Oh my god. He drove you to the airport, and now I get to meet him.”

“Yes, so please be on your best behavior!”

She immediately grabbed her suitcase and started for the exit. “Kate! Seriously!”

She stopped in her tracks once she got out and looked right at him. “Is that _him_?”

“Yes,” you groaned.

“Holy shit. _That’s_ Javi. Huh, I would be saying ‘Michael, who?’ too. Thank god you did not get stuck with that asshole, because you would have missed out on…” she motioned at Javi.

“Will you stop! He sees you!”

You looked over and saw him grinning at you, and he waved. “I’m sticking you back on a plane.”

It was too late, though. Kate was already making her way over to Javier Peña. 

**His POV**

A cute brunette was quickly making her way towards him like she knew him with a distraught Y/N following behind her. It was easy for him to figure out that this was Kate, her best friend from home. “Javi?” she asked, sticking her hand out for him to shake.

“Kate?” he said in return.

“Nice to finally meet you!” she replied excitedly.

He laughed and looked over at Y/N before answering. “You too. She’s talked so much about you.” 

He leaned over and grabbed Kate’s suitcase to throw in the back of the Jeep. She quickly hopped in the back seat, and Y/N started to follow her. Javi walked over with a large smile on his face and closed the door, leaning in closer to her. “Oh no, this is not driving Miss Daisy.”

She crossed her arms and gave him those puppy eyes he claimed he couldn’t resist, but this time, he held his ground. “If you don’t get in the front seat, I’ll put you there myself.”

Kate’s eyes grew wide and she started to fan herself, mocking Y/N. Y/N flipped her friend off and turned to Javi. “On a normal day, I’d say I’d like to see you try, but…”

He didn’t give her a chance to finish. Instead, he threw her over his shoulder and carried her to the passenger side of his Jeep before putting her in the front seat and buckling her seat belt. He winked at Kate and grinned at Y/N before closing the door and walking to the driver’s side. He heard Kate let out a muffled, “oh my god, you weren’t kidding” which made his grin even wider. He opened the driver’s door just as Y/N was telling Kate to shut up. 

Y/N reached across the seat and slugged Javi in the shoulder. “Cabrón. I was going to say that I wasn’t going to argue!”

“No quería darte la oportunidad.”

“Ahora estás presumiendo.”

He grinned at her with that devilish grin that warned her trouble was coming. “Por siempre y para siempre, hermosa.”

Kate leaned forward. “Hablo español. This is not as private as you think.”

Shit. He was so used to talking in Spanish around Connie and Steve, because neither of them could understand it very well. He felt his cheeks burn a little before he put the Jeep in reverse to drive back to their apartment complex. He looked over to Y/N and noticed she, too, was dying of embarrassment. “Do you want to…”

Y/N cut him off and reached for the volume on the radio. No music was playing though. Instead it was a news broadcast. “Temprano esta mañana, el cuerpo del ministro Lara fue encontrado muerto en su automóvil. Parece que fue atrapado en medio de un tiroteo entre sicarios. No hay más información en este momento ya que la policía aún no ha publicado una declaración.”

Javi’s face grew grim as he slammed his fists on the steering wheel. “Fuck!” he exclaimed. 

She reached over to touch his shoulder. “Javi?”

He shied away from her touch and pressed down on the accelerator. “Why didn’t that fucker just listen?” he said to himself. “Goddammit.”

“Javi.” She said again, trying to get his attention.

“Steve warned him. We _warned_ him!”

She looked back at Kate who was terrified about what this could mean. He sat in silence the rest of the way to the complex. He parked his Jeep on the side of the street and helped Y/N and Kate get inside. When she unlocked her apartment to let Kate inside, he turned to leave. He had to get to the embassy. “Javi!” she exclaimed from the top of the stairs. “Wait!”

He stopped at the door and turned to her. She ran down the flight of stairs and stood on the bottom stair so she was eye level with him. She reached forward and grabbed his arms to drag him over to her, wrapping her arms around him for comfort. “This isn’t your fault,” she whispered.

He went slack at her words and his heart skipped several beats. “It is. We should have assigned him a detail, or something!”

She forced him to look at her as she placed her hands on both sides of his face. “No. There is nothing you could have done to prevent this. Sooner or later, Escobar would have killed him. You said it yourself: that man is a monster.’ This is _not_ your fault.”

He gave her a half smile and placed his hands on each side of her face. “Thank you.”

“That’s what friends are for,” she smirked.

He felt a tightening in his chest at those words, but he knew now was as good a moment as any. He pulled her into a passionate kiss. At first, he felt her think about pulling away. Then suddenly, she leapt off the stairs into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck. He toyed with her bottom lip until she opened her mouth for him to deepen his kiss. She let out a small moan that only made him kiss her more to hear that sweet noise again, and then she placed her hand on his chest to push him away. “I….uh….I need to check on Kate,” she said, fixing her hair and shirt. “I’ll see you later.” And just like that she disappeared upstairs.

He stood there for a minute, reliving the last moment. His lips plump and raw from that kiss. He grinned to himself and looked up the stairs where she disappeared. He was definitely going to be late to the embassy now, but she was worth it.

**Your POV**

“You did what?!” Kate exclaimed when you told her.

You had quickly run into your apartment and closed the door, leaning against it trying to catch your breath. She saw the exasperated look on your face and finally pulled it out of you what happened. “It wasn’t like I did it on purpose.”

Kate looked at you dumbfounded. “I’m sorry. I need to explain it to me, then. Did you fall down the stairs and he caught you with his lips?”

“For starters, _he_ kissed _me_.”

“Oh, and then you pushed him away.”

You replayed what happened in your mind, and you knew that was definitely not what happened. “Well…”

“I thought you said you pushed him away.”

“Well…” each time you said that word your voice continued to get higher.

“That is a _very_ deep thought. What happened?”

You sighed and slumped down on your couch. “It doesn’t matter, because it will NOT happen again.”

“I’m sure you told him that too.”

You let out a loud groan and covered your face with a pillow. “What have I done? I am not ready for this! Also, he has women over to his apartment like _every_ night. He’s a player. I don’t want to get involved with someone like that! It’s just setting me up to get hurt again. I thought Michael had changed his ways when we met, and clearly I was wrong!”

“Yeah, but Michael is an asshole.”

“Peña is an asshole.”

Kate laughed at your remark. “Okay, but he’s the best looking asshole I’ve ever seen.”

You peeked around the pillow at Kate who was sitting opposite to you on the couch. “That’s not helping.”

“How long has it been?” she asked.

“Since?”

“How long has _it been_?”

“Oh. Well, it’s almost been seven months since I broke off the engagement.”

“And were you sleeping together before that?” she asked, crossing her arms in an accusatory manner. 

You fell back against the couch and covered your face again. “The last time we slept together was about 3 months before that.”

“So almost a year. You’re going on a year without sex or any form of masculine contact.”

You hadn’t realized how long it had been since you’ve been with a man or how much you missed it until just now. Javi’s lips felt so good on yours. He tasted sweeter than anything you’d ever tasted before. Michael had never kissed you with such fervor and passion, or if he had, it had been years. You could still feel Javi’s hard body pressed into yours as his hands pulled you closer to him. He actually took your breath away. You didn’t start breathing again until you closed your apartment door. “Okay,” you agreed, “it’s been a while.”

“All I’m suggesting is you get that out of your system. Javi’s your rebound. You don’t have to start anything serious with him. He’s your little Colombian fling…unless of course he isn’t…” she mimed a ruler and mouthed the word “little.”

You threw the pillow at her. “You’re repulsive.”

“You need to get laid, sister. That’s all I’m saying.”

Sex complicated things, and you knew with your budding friendship, it was going to do exactly that. You also knew by the way Javi looked at you that it would be much more than a fast fling. He was trouble. Connie even told you as much. And so, you knew you were headed for another whirlwind of pain.

**His POV**

He didn’t remember driving to the embassy, parking his car, or walking in. He barely remembered Steve grabbing him as soon as he walked in to go to the crime scene. He went through the motions of getting in the passenger side and buckling his seatbelt. Steve didn’t notice Peña wasn’t completely there until they were on the road. “Earth to Javier Peña,” he said, snapping in front of his eyes.

“Hey, fuck off,” Peña said moving away from Steve’s hand, “it’s been a morning.”

“Where were you?” Steve asked, annoyed.

“I was helping Y/N and lost track of time.”

Steve shot him an even more irritated glance. “Do I want to know?”

“You can’t tell Connie,” he said with a drop of fear in his voice, “I don’t want her to kick my ass later.”

“Oh god,” Steve said, slamming his right blinker on.

“I didn’t fuck her, if that’s what you’re thinking. But, I did kiss her.”

He raised an eyebrow at Peña, waiting for him to finish. 

“It was a heat of the moment kind of thing. I think I just fucked everything up.”

“Yeah, you probably did.”

He groaned and ran a hand down his face. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette to smoke. “Fuck,” he said under his breath. 

“Yep,” agreed Steve, “you probably scared her off.”

Peña glared at his partner and flipped him off. “You’re my partner. Aren’t you supposed to have my back?”

“Only when you’re being shot at. These situations I’m required to tell you what a jackass you were.”

He took a long drag off his cigarette. “Oh really?”

Steve parked the car behind another cop car and grabbed his gun and badge from the glove box. “Yep. It was in the manual. Now, get your head out of your ass. You can deal with this when you get home.”

“Just don’t tell Connie.”

“I won’t, but she most definitely will. They tell each other _everything_.”

Peña let out another painful groan before finishing his cigarette. He followed Steve to the car Lara was found in, and instantly he forgot about his major fuck up from earlier. He was suddenly reminded of why he was in Colombia in the first place.

**Translations**

  * _Tranquilo, hermoso. Todo esta bien. - Relax, handsome. Everything is fine._
  * _Yo sé, hermosa. Estas segura. - I know, beautiful. You’re safe._
  * _No quería darte la oportunidad. - I didn’t want to give you the chance._
  * _Ahora estás presumiendo. - Now, you’re showing off._
  * _Por siempre y para siempre, hermosa. - Always and forever, beautiful._
  * _Hablo español. - I speak Spanish._
  * _Temprano esta mañana, el cuerpo del ministro Lara fue encontrado muerto en su automóvil. Parece que fue atrapado en medio de un tiroteo entre sicarios. No hay más información en este momento ya que la policía aún no ha publicado una declaración. - Early this morning, the body of Minister Lara was found dead in his car. It appears that he was caught in the middle of a shooting between sicarios. There is no more information at this time as law enforcement has yet to release a statement._




	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Javi both have to come to terms with some difficult revelations. (That’s it. If I summarize any more, I might spoil it).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Language, Sexual Innuendos, fluff

**His POV**

Days passed by since Lara’s murder, and since he kissed _her_. She’d been spending her time with Kate, though, and he decided to leave the pair of them alone to catch up. He also had been spending most of his time at either the embassy or with Carrillo. Despite what she said to him, he still felt like this was his fault. If he would have done more, been less distracted, he could have kept a good man alive. On top of that Escobar had attacked the Palace of Justice, causing them to lose all the evidence they had against him. That hit Javier hard. He spent the last few nights reading reports and trying to find the end of a whiskey bottle. Steve would call it quits at around ten, but Javier didn’t want to go home. He would be forced to face his mistakes. At least here, he could focus on something else. 

Carrillo walked into the “war room”as they so aptly named it. It had a large bulletin board filled with pictures of everyone in The Medellín Cartel, with Escobar at the top. Peña was bent over a stack of folders, standing there with a whiskey glass in one hand and his other hand on his hip. He had his usual stern look on his face. “¿Alguna suerte?” Carrillo asked. 

Peña looked up at him and sighed. “No. Estoy mirando archivos viejos.” Carrillo sat down at the table and slid a file over to him. “¿Qué es esto?”

“Gacha.”

Peña’s eyes lit up. “Gacha?”

Carrillo nodded. “Sabemos dónde está el cabrón.”

Peña grabbed another whiskey glass, filled it, and slid it across the table to him. He leaned forward and held his glass up to cheer Carrillo. “Salud, hermano.”

“Salud.” They both finished their glasses and sat in comfortable silence for a brief moment before Carrillo spoke again. “Salimos en la mañana.”

“¿Nosotros?”

Carrillo nodded. “Sí. Necesito su ayuda. El cabrón está con su hijo. No sabemos los armados que están.”

“Sí. Claro.” He stood and stretched. “Entonces, voy a salir. Hasta mañana.”

Carrillo held up his glass to him as he left. Javier looked at his watch and saw the time. 1:00 AM. He was barely going to get a good night’s sleep before having to wake up early and chase down Gacha. He finally made it back to the apartment complex when he saw Kate, Connie, and Y/N walking down the sidewalk, giggling. It was obvious they had been out drinking and dancing. He felt envious of every guy she could have possibly danced with. He noticed this time she was in a little black dress that was low cut and tight like her other one. He leaned against the railing on the stoop and waited for them to see him. Kate and Connie stopped first and smiled. “I mean, I donknow whathis fucking problemis,” you drunkenly slurred, “s’like he’s avoiding me.”

He saw Kate elbow her and she looked up at Javier. “Shhhhit,”she added. 

“Evening, ladies,” he said with a grin, “have a good night?”

Kate was clearly as drunk as Y/N, because all she could do was giggle. Connie, who was better off than the other two smiled. “Just like senior year,” she replied.

Y/N sat down on the stoop and put her head in her hands. “She looks like she’s not standing back up,” Javi added. 

“We might have had a little too much to drink.”

She slumped against the railing. Kate tried to sit down next to her, but Connie stopped her. “No, we need to get you upstairs.” Connie started leaning a little too much with her, and they both almost fell over, which caused the three of them to break out into a fit of giggles. 

Javier felt his chest tighten when he heard her giggling. She was so….what’s the right word? Adorable? No. Beautiful. Yes. Perfect. He leaned over to Connie. “Take Kate on up,” he said, handing her Y/N’s purse, “I’ll carry this one up.”

Connie ran her hand through her hair and sighed. “Thanks, Javi.”

He held the door open for Connie and Kate before scooping Y/N into his arms. She instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his chest. He heard her mumble something. “What was that, hermosa?”

“I’ssaid you smell nice,” she said picking her head up to look at him in his eyes. Her’s were so glossed over that he doubted she was actually looking at him. 

She grabbed his face to make him look at her. “Don’t hurt me, Javi.” 

She had a few tears in her eyes. He felt his heart break a little for her. _Fuck that asshole_ , Javi thought to himself. He didn’t know her fiancé, but he hated him for ever considering hurting her. “Never, mi hermosa.”

Her head lolled forward a little. “I’m sorry,” she pleaded.

“Don’t. You have nothing to be sorry for. You’re perfect.” His voice cracked at the last statement. He was trying to keep his feelings under control, but she was exactly that and deserved to know.

She rested her head back on his chest. “You smell nice.”

He laughed and was pretty sure she wouldn’t remember anything from tonight. “You smell like you drank the bar,” he joked.

She picked her head up and smiled at him. What he would do to make her smile every day. “It’s his fault,” she replied, losing her smile faster than he could comprehend. 

He made it to her floor. “He’s a fucking moron to choose anyone over you,” he said. She was weightless in his arms, that he didn’t even realize how long he’d been holding her in front of her door. 

Connie opened the door and stumbled out. “I was about to come looking for you!”

He bounced her a little in his arms. “Lugging this up the stairs hasn’t been easy.”

She didn’t even bother responding to him, because she was still gazing at him teary eyed. Connie looked between the two of them and smiled. “Well, Kate’s asleep on the couch. If you got her, I’m going to go to bed.”

“I got her. I’m sure as soon as I set her down, she’ll pass out.”

Connie patted his arm. “Ever our hero, Javi.”

He slid into her apartment and lightly closed the door behind him, so as to not disturb Kate. He pushed open her bedroom door and gently set her down on her bed. He knelt down in front of her and delicately undid the straps on her heels to slide them off her sore feet. He massaged each of them a few times, causing her to fall back on her bed and let out a soft moan that drove him mad. Javi didn’t notice her dress had ridden up a little too high until he started on her other foot. To which, he quickly averted his eyes and stood up. “Don’t move. I’m going to get you some water.”

She didn’t respond. He figured she was passed out. He quietly rummaged around her kitchen looking for a glass and the Tylenol. By the time he walked back into her room, she was gone. Then, he heard the sink faucet turn on. _At least she’s conscious_ , he thought. The bathroom light turned out and the door opened. He almost dropped the glass of water when she walked out in nothing but her lacy black bra and underwear. He tried to look anywhere but at her. She seemed oblivious to his embarrassment. “Here,” he said, in an almost prepubescent voice. He handed her the Tylenol and water.

Without missing a beat, she took it from him, and then crawled onto her bed on top of the covers. He sighed, knowing she would get cold. He pulled back the covers as much as he could before picking her up in his arms again. Her skin was so soft against his. She sent electric shocks throughout his body. She was so warm, so delicate. He refused to check her out, though. He was not about to take advantage of this beautiful woman when she was drunk. Instead, he laid her in bed and covered her with her blankets. As he walked away, she grabbed his wrist, at an impressive speed for someone as drunk as she was. Sitting up, she pulled him towards her, planting a sloppy, but gentle kiss on his lips. “Thank you, Javi.” 

“Of course,” he smiled. 

In her drunken stupor, she reached behind her back and unclasped her bra. Javi turned around before he saw too much. He saw her shadow toss it across the room. He peaked over his shoulder to make sure she was back under the covers, and thank God she was. “Your water is right here on the nightstand,” he whispered.

He saw her smile in her half asleep state. He walked to the door and shut the light off, and he could have sworn he heard her say, “Mi Javi hermoso.”

**Your POV**

The second your eyes flew open, every incident flooded your memory. Even the part where you sloppily kissed Javi. You let out a loud groan and grabbed your pillow to cover your face. If you were lucky, you’d suffocate yourself so you didn’t have to face him this morning. You pulled back your covers and looked down, realizing you had, in fact, ripped your bra off in front of him. You clearly remember being offended that he turned around, but the moment he leaned in to tell you about your water, your anger faded. You also prayed he didn’t hear what you said as he left, but at this point nothing could get any worse. You let out another groan and walked across your room to pick your bra off the floor. You stumbled around, trying to find clothes to throw on so you could march downstairs and thank Javi, or at least apologize. 

You opened your bedroom door and saw a very hungover Kate sitting on the couch. Surprisingly, your hangover wasn’t as bad. Thanks to Javi. You smiled a little as you walked further out into your living room. “Morning,” Kate mumbled.

“I’ll be right back,” you said, making a beeline for your door. It was locked. Your heart fluttered, because you knew that meant he locked it before he left. 

“Where are you going?”

You didn’t answer Kate, but instead marched to Javi’s door, lightly knocking on it. There was no answer, so you knocked a little louder. You were hoping he wasn’t still asleep….or preoccupied. There was still no answer. This time you knocked like you meant business. “He already left. He won’t be back for a couple of days.” 

You turned and saw Steve behind you. You felt a blush run across your face. “I just wanted to thank him for helping us last night.”

“Mhm,” Steve said, not believing you. “Look, Y/N, Connie and I care a lot about you. Just be careful with Javi.”

You nodded. “I know his type,” you smiled, “and I don’t plan on going any further than friends.”

Steve nodded, again not believing you. “He’s a good friend.”

You wrapped your arms around yourself. “You know that I’m not going to trust anyone enough to get that close to me.”

He wrapped an arm around you and gave you a brotherly side hug. “Connie just worries about you. She doesn’t want to see you get hurt anymore.”

You felt a few tears form and you quickly wiped them away. “Thanks, Steve.”

You turned to head upstairs. “Do you want me to tell him you stopped by?”

You looked at Javi’s door. The same door you’ve seen countless women leave through. “No,” you sighed, “I’ll just talk to him when he gets back.”

Steve nodded and jogged down the stairs. You slowly made your way back to your apartment. You opened the door and saw Kate sitting at the counter eating her leftovers from the other night, so you decided to take the couch. “What’s your problem?” Kate asked with a mouthful.

“Last night.”

“I thought we had fun!”

“No, we did. It’s whenever we got home.” The memory of Javi carrying you up the stairs suddenly hit you. 

> _You grabbed his face to make him look at you. “Don’t hurt me, Javi.”_
> 
> _You had a few tears in your eyes. “Never,” he said._
> 
> _Your head lolled forward a little. “I’m sorry,” she pleaded._
> 
> _“Don’t. You have nothing to be sorry for. You’re perfect.” His voice cracked at the last statement. Your heart stopped. “He’s a fucking moron to choose anyone over you,” he said._

You slowly turned to Kate. “We have a huge problem.”

She took another bite of food and then turned to you. “And that is…?”

“Javi.”

Kate shook her head and rolled her eyes. 

“I’m serious!” You recounted everything that had happened the night before. 

Kate swooned out of her chair and onto the couch. “He said you were _perfect_?” She made a crying sound. “If that’s not the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard, I don’t know what is.”

“What am I going to do?” You worried.

“Call Connie and tell her to get her ass over here.”

You leaned back on the couch and threw your arm over your eyes. “I’m serious, Kate. I can’t trust him.”

“What is there not to trust? He had every opportunity to take advantage of you and _didn’t_ , for starters. He also thinks you’re perfect.” She sighed and slumped back against the couch,”he carried you like fucking Prince Charming, made sure you were safe and comfortable. What don’t you trust?”

“He’s a womanizer. How do I know he’s not going to run off with the next hot thing that moves in next door?”

“He’s not Michael,” Kate argued.

You growled. “He knows what he’s doing. He’s had enough women to know how to woo them right into bed with him.”

“If you don’t trust him so much, then why are you friends with him?”

You looked at her and glared. “Because I want to trust him.”

Kate folded her arms and looked at you. “And why is that?”

“Are you seriously going to make me admit it?”

She looked at you, dead in the eyes, and waited.

“Ugh. Fine! Because I have a teeny tiny crush on him, and I don’t want him to turn out like Michael. I don’t want him to hurt me the way he easily could.”

Victorious, Kate smiled at you. “Was that so hard?”

“Yes.” 

She was clearly satisfied by your misery. “I’m going to take a shower.”

“I’m so glad you came down.”

Kate skipped off to your guest shower, ignoring your sarcastic remark. “Call Connie. She should be ready for lunch soon.”

You wanted to cry out of frustration, but instead you called Connie to see if she could meet for lunch. She could tell by the tone in your voice, something was wrong, but she figured you’d tell her when you three met up.

***

You and Kate walked to a little cafe just around the corner from the hospital, where Connie was already waiting. She waved you both over to the table. “Is everything okay? You sounded upset on the phone.”

Kate smiled and snacked on the bread in front of her. “She’s just mad at me.”

“What happened?”

You glared at Kate, refusing to talk. So, Kate told her for you. Connie turned to you with wide eyes once she was done telling her very embellished version of the story about the night before. “I can’t say I blame you,” Connie said, “he’s very suave.”

You nodded. “And you agree with me that I should stay away from him, right?”

Connie took a sip of her Coke. “He said you were perfect?” She asked, still contemplating your question.

“And that Michael was a ‘fucking moron’ to let her go,” Kate chimed.

She folded and unfolded her hands. “Steve is going to be so annoyed with me, but I agree with Kate.”

“You what?!” You exclaimed softly.

“I’ve known Javi for a while now. I’ve seen him with the women he dates and the women he fucks. His eyes are practically dead. They would walk into the room, and he wouldn’t even turn to look at them. With you, Steve and I had both said, it’s different. He hasn’t actually slept with anyone since that night of the club.”

“What? But I’ve seen women leave his apartment!”

Connie nodded. “I know, but he says that they come over trying to get his business, and he turns them away. Says it doesn’t feel right.”

You shook your head, confused. “I’m sorry, what?”

“He confessed it to me. Not even Steve knows that. He came to me the day after he kissed you to talk to me. I didn’t want to say anything until I knew where you stood. Look, he reminded Steve and I of Michael, and we wanted to protect you from that. However, Javi is a good guy. I honestly think he whores himself out to girls like that, because he thinks that is what he deserves. Since he met you, he’s changed. His biggest fault is caring so much that it gets him into a lot of trouble. He thinks he needs to save everyone. Which is why he felt like he needed to take you to get Kate. He told me after what happened to Puff and the threats Steve was getting, he couldn’t bear the thought of any of that happening to you. And, when you tried to comfort him after he started blaming himself for Lara, he couldn’t help it. He said you had touched some part of his soul that he thought he sold to the Devil years ago.”

Kate covered her mouth and looked at you. “Could he _be_ anymore perfect?” 

You felt tears escape and run down your face. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt so cared for, desired. You wanted to run and jump into his arms right now, but you had no idea where he was. You wiped your face with the back of your hand. “Well, this information does me no good, because I don’t even know where he is to talk to him.”

“Steve said he got a lead last night and is helping Search Bloc take down one of the Kingpins.”

You felt your heart race. “Where?”

“Cartegena, I think Steve said.”

You took a deep breath and sipped on your Coke. “Again, a lot of good _this_ does for me. You leave in a few days, probably by the time he gets back, and by then I will have chickened out.”

Kate reached across the table for your hand. “Hey, six months ago you survived the single worst break up any of us has ever experienced. You uprooted your life and are starting over in Colombia. You’ve got the hottest man I have _ever_ seen after you, and more confidence because of him. You carry yourself differently when he’s near, because the way he looks at you gives you confidence. The confidence that Michael is a moron and he’s the one who’s a worthless piece of shit.”

You smiled at her and squeezed her hand. “Thanks.”

“Besides,” she said, leaning back in her chair, “I need someone to fuck him and tell me about it.”

You gasped and flicked a breadstick at her. She looked at you innocently and continued picking apart her own piece of bread. Connie laughed and shook her head. “If you think about it, he _has_ to be good. He slept with a girl I used to work with here and she said he’s the best sex she’d ever had.”

Kate turned it. “I knew it. You better call. I will pay for the charges, _happily_ , to learn every nitty, gritty detail.”

You felt your cheeks turn bright red. “For all you know, after we talk, we might just remain friends.”

Kate and Connie both laughed at you. “Yeah,” Kate said, “and I’m going to run for President.”

***

Two days later when you woke up, you turned on the news to see if there was any update on Javi in Cartagena. Steve was gone on his own mission, and so you couldn’t beg him for information. Luckily, you had turned it on just in time. Valeria Vélez was reporting that Gonzalo Rodriguez Gacha was killed, along with his son, in a raid on his house in Tolú late yesterday afternoon. This raid was assisted by the American Drug Enforcement Agency, with an unnamed agent leading the mission alongside Search Bloc’s Colonel Carrillo. It was unclear how many casualties each side suffered, but in the end Gacha was brought down and this was marked as a huge win for Search Bloc.

You felt your heart race with apprehension. You wished Javi could get the recognition he clearly deserved, but you also worried that he was one of the casualties of this raid. Easy, girl. _They would have mentioned the death of an American DEA Agent if he was killed in combat,_ you told yourself. But your anxiety was almost too much to handle.

Kate looked at you when the broadcast ended. “He’s fine,” she said.

“Of course he is.” You grabbed your breakfast dishes and headed to the sink to clean them. You were wiping down the counters and headed to get dressed when you heard a knock on your door. 

“Kate, can you get that? I’m going to hop in the shower.”

**His POV**

“Es tu decisión,” Carrillo said into Javi’s headset.

And without blinking, without any hesitation, he turned to the man next to him and ordered, “Dale plomo.”

It wasn’t until he and Carrillo landed did he take in the gruesomeness of the scene. The past twelve hours flashed through his memory, realizing that he wasn’t any better than the putas he was hunting. He killed this man in cold blood. He may have not pulled the trigger, but he gave the order without a second thought. Even though today was a huge win, he still felt like a piece of shit. Who really was the good guy in this situation? That was all relative.

Javier walked away from the scene and sat on the side of the road running his hands through his hair. Yeah, Gacha was a heartless son of a bitch, but how was he any different? He’s done plenty of terrible things over the course of his career just to catch the bad guy. Not too long ago he told Steve while they were stealing evidence, “Sometimes you gotta do bad things to catch bad people.” But at what point is there no return? At what point is bad too bad?

He tried to clear his head. Let his thoughts wander, and they always went to her. She was so innocent and fragile in his arms as she pleaded for him not to hurt her. She was flawless and beautiful when she crawled across her bed in her lacy black bra and underwear. She murmured in her sleep “mi Javi hermoso.” He felt a smile creepy across his face, bringing him out of the darkness, and it was in that moment he knew what to do. Javier rapidly stood up and walked to Carrillo. “Necesito ir a Bogotá. ¿Nosotros hemos terminado aquí?” he asked.

Carrillo nodded and continued talking to his men. Javier hopped in the helicopter and ordered the pilot to take him to the airport. It was a three hour flight home, and he would have to stop by the embassy first to make his statement. He wanted to see her, have her tell him everything was going to be okay; he was just doing his job. He fidgeted the entire plane ride, trying to think of an explanation he would give her, but he thought of nothing. Out of exhaustion, he did fall asleep during the second half of his flight, but he dreamed of her. He dreamed of him carrying her up the stairs to her apartment as she rested her head on his shoulder; of her kissing him; of the small smile she made when she slept. When they landed, Steve boarded the plane to wake him. “Hey, jackass, wake up,” he said, shaking his partner.

Slightly startled, Peña woke up, disappointed to see it was Steve shaking him. “You my ride?”

Steve sighed. “I am. I just got done with a meeting with Gaviria. How did Cartegena go?”

“Ended up in Tolú, but we got the bastard.” He followed Steve down the stairs and out to the car he had waiting for them. “I need to stop by the embassy and make my report first.”

Steve acknowledged him and climbed into the driver’s seat. Once the car was started and put in drive, Steve said, “Y/N stopped by your apartment.”

Peña felt his heart race. “What did she say?”

“She said she wanted to thank you for helping her while she was shitfaced.” 

Javi smiled and looked out the window. “Is that all she said?”

Steve pulled the car over and looked at him. “You know,” he began, “Connie tells me everything. Well, she tells Y/N more, but she tells me when certain people talk to her about her friends.”

Peña’s face instantly became flushed as he slowly turned to Steve. “Someone is asking about Y/N? Is it that fucking doctor who couldn’t keep his damn hands off her?”

“Peña, you know what I’m talking about.”

“Yeah, so?”

Steve sighed. “ _So_ , have you really not ‘talked to your informants’ since the night we went to the club?”

He rubbed his hands down his face and then grabbed a cigarette from his pocket. He was trembling as he tried to light it. After several times, he was able to activate the lighter and he took a long drag off his cig. “We really haven’t had time for me to relieve stress,” he said.

Steve let his head fall back against the headrest. “Javier,” he said. It threw him off, since Steve normally addressed him by his last name. “Cut the shit.”

“Fine,” he said through his teeth, taking another pull off his cigarette and flicking ashes out of the window. “No, I haven’t actively sought out sex in a couple of weeks. The girls still stop by, hoping to persuade me to give them business, but I send them packing.”

Steve looked at his partner completely surprised. “Weeks? Jesus, I’m married and I’ve had more action than you recently.”

Peña huffed. “Rub it in,” he grumbled.

“Why?”

He shrugged and finished his cigarette. “I guess none of them have piqued my interest lately. I just haven’t felt like paying for it anymore.”

Steve cracked a smile and laughed at him. “You’re whipped, man.”

“Fuck you.” He reached for another cigarette.

Steve leaned across to stop him. “You know you’ve only really been smoking when I bring this up.”

“So.” He jerked his hand away from Steve and grabbed another. 

“ _So_ , I just want to know what’s stressing you out about her.”

Peña leaned back against the headrest. “Can we just get to the embassy?”

“Connie is making me do this, and I figured you’d rather it be just the two of us.”

“Dios ayúdame,” he said under his breath. “She doesn’t stress me out. You do. Telling me to stay away from her; saying I’ll hurt her - that I remind you of her ex. And then every time you bring her up, those thoughts go through my head. Thanks to you, I actually believe all of it. When all I want to do is make sure no one hurts her again. And after today, when I didn’t think twice about killing Gacha…” he trailed off for a second, “all I wanted to do was run back here, but every time we talk about her I’m reminded that I’m nowhere near good enough. So, if I really want to make sure no one hurts her again, I should just listen to you and leave her alone. But I can’t.”

“Fuck, Peña,” Steve breathed. “All this time I was just thinking about protecting her…”

“That you didn’t bother to think you’d hurt your partner in the process?”

“I mean, come on. You haven’t actually been one to keep a steady girl around.”

He sighed. “Yeah, well it wasn’t until I met her that I realized that I’m pretty fucking empty inside.”

Steve grabbed Peña’s shoulder and gave it a brotherly squeeze. “You’re serious.” He wanted to make that sound like a question, but instead it came out like a statement.

Peña glanced over to him before looking out the window again. “About what?”

“You have real feelings for her. Like this isn’t something random. You’ve actually thought about it.”

“I slept at the office for two nights after I kissed her, because I couldn’t face her rejection.”

“Have you told her any of this?” Steve said, starting the car again. He watched the passing cars before pulling back out onto the road. 

Peña huffed. “I’d rather get shot. At least I can keep her in my life as a friend.”

“I’m not trying to tell you what to do…”

He rolled his eyes and stared accusingly at Steve. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Just tell her. If Connie forced me to have this uncomfortable as fuck conversation with you, that has to be a good sign, right?”

He shrugged his shoulders and flicked some ashes out of the window. He started to reflect on all of his favorite moments with her, which was every time they were together. He thought of the way she moved against him as they danced; how peaceful she looked when she fell asleep on his couch after they both drank a little too much. He smiled at the thought of Kate’s passing comments that told him she’d talked about him to her. 

He felt Steve slap his chest with the back of his hand. “Get that fucking grin off your face,” he laughed. 

Peña lightly shoved him back and said nothing. They rode in silence for a bit before Steve cleared his throat. “Hey, Javier?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry. I should have trusted you more.”

“I understand.” He replied. “You and Connie wanted to protect her. But it’s fine.”

“I should have been a better partner.” Steve paused and glanced over at Peña. “Friend.”

He made a gagging noise and turned his nose up at Steve. “Don’t you think I get enough of you at the office, and now you want to be friends?”

Steve chuckled. “Fuck you, Peña.”

***

They got to the embassy late. Many had already left, especially the ambassador. Javier knew that if he didn’t have his report on her desk first thing in the morning, it would be his ass. He worked tirelessly, but it wasn’t until the sun started to slide through the window panes did he realize what time it was. It was 6:00 AM. Fuck. He thought to himself. He finished what he was working on, and dropped it off on the ambassador’s desk. Javier was exhausted and longed to walk into his apartment and pass out on his bed. He drove with the windows down to keep himself awake. He arrived at his apartment complex a little after 7. He contemplated just taking a nap in his Jeep for 10 minutes, but he decided against it. Javier stumbled up the stairs and started to unlock his door. Then, something tugged his attention up the flight of stairs. _“Just tell her,”_ Steve’s voice rang in his ear.

Without realizing it, he was taking two stairs at a time to get to her door. He held his hand up to knock, but paused. It was early. What if she was asleep? Then he heard Kate’s voice through the door. “He’s fine,” she said.

“Of course he is,” she replied.

His heart stopped. She was worried about him; he knew it in his soul that’s who she meant. His chest was so tight that he couldn’t stand it, but then he remembered all of his insecurities. He was heartless, broken. She deserved someone a thousand times better than him. _“You have real feelings for her,”_ Steve’s voice said again. 

He did. He couldn’t help it, and dammit, he was going to tell her. He knocked on the door. Each footstep that drew closer to him behind this goddamn door acted as a countdown to the moment his heart would stop. Then time froze. “What the fuck am I going to say?” He thought, immediately regretting his decision. The door opened but his heart dropped when he saw it was Kate. “Where is she?” He growled, not meaning to sound so aggressive.

With very wide, slightly titillated eyes, Kate didn’t say a word and pointed to Y/N room. He stormed past her. What he didn’t see was Kate sneak out of the apartment and close the door behind her. He didn’t think twice about barging into her room. He did not see her when he opened the door, but he heard the shower running. Debating on what to do, he took five large strides over there and knocked on the door. “Who was it, Kate?” She asked.

He didn’t reply, but knocked again. “Let me get my robe.” 

Javi saw her shadows moving under the door frame. She slowly opened the door and froze when she saw him. “Javi!” She gasped. “What are you doing here?”

He had no idea what to say to her, but instead wrapped her in his arms, pushing her against the bathroom wall as he kissed her, deeper and more passionately than he did the last time.

**Translations**

  * _“¿Alguna suerte?” - Any luck?_
  * _“No. Estoy mirando archivos viejos.” - No. I’m looking at old files._
  * _“¿Qué es esto?” - What is this?_
  * _“Sabemos dónde está el cabrón.” - We know where the motherfucker is._
  * _“Salud, hermano.” - Cheers, brother._
  * _“Salimos en la mañana.” - We leave in the morning._
  * _“¿Nosotros?” - We?_
  * _“Sí. Necesito su ayuda. El cabrón está con su hijo. No sabemos los armados que están.” - Yes. I need your help. The fucker is with his son, and we don’t know how armed they are._
  * _“Sí. Claro.” - Yes. Of course._
  * _“Entonces, voy a salir. Hasta mañana.” - Then I’m going to leave. See you tomorrow._
  * _“Es tu decisión.” - It’s your call._
  * _“Dale plomo.” - Give him lead._
  * _“Necesito ir a Bogotá. ¿Nosotros hemos terminado aquí?” - I need to go to Bogotá. Are we done here?_
  * _“Dios ayúdame.” - God help me._




	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Javi...work through some things...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Language, Sexual Innuendos, Smut (with some fluff)

**Your POV  
**

Once you were able to wrap your head around what was happening, you put your hand on his chest and stopped him. You really didn’t want to, but you had to. He looked down at you with a smile on his face, but the longer you stared at him, the smile started to disappear. “I-I’m sorry,” he said, starting to back away.

“Javi,” you said.

But he started to turn to leave. You grabbed him by the shirt with both of your hands and turned him to face you, kissing him back until you had his attention. You stopped, but continued to hold his shirt in your fists. “Can I talk now?” You asked, frustrated.

He ran his tongue over his swollen bottom lip and smiled, but said nothing. Distracted, you couldn’t think of what you wanted to say. You were so focused on his presence in such close quarters that you forgot any semblance of an adult conversation you wanted to have with him upon his return. Instead, you just leapt into his arms again, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissed him with the same ferocity he kissed you. He pushed you away for a second and leaned his forehead against yours. “I thought you had something to say,” Javi laughed.

“Shut up and kiss me.” 

You pulled his face back down to yours. You opened your mouth for him to deepen his kiss. He pulled at your robe, allowing it to fall open far enough that he could run his hands up and down your sides leaving chills in their wake. You placed your hands under his jacket and helped him quickly remove it, tossing it into your room. Javi’s kisses traveled down your jawline and neck as he nipped and bit at your collarbone. You sighed as you ran your fingers through his hair. You felt his hands move to your back as he ran them down and cupped you making you yelp and laugh just a little. He smiled against your skin as he used this leverage to lift you, throwing your legs around his waist. Javi leaned over to your shower and shut it off, while maintaining a firm grip. Holding on tight around his waist, you brought his mouth back to yours and you kept kissing him as he led you back into your bedroom. 

You both fell back on your bed laughing for a brief moment before your mouths found each other again. He let his hands explore your body. You let out a sigh. God, it had been a long time since you felt a man’s touch, especially by one you’ve grown to care about. Javi’s hand lightly moved across your breast, causing you to arch your back. “Javi,” you breathed. 

“¿Qué quieres que haga? Mi hermosa,” he whispered kissing her neck.

You let your hands travel down his body and stopped at his belt, trying to undo it. He stopped you and stood up, removing his blue button down first. You hungirly bit your bottom lip as you gazed at the gorgeous man in front of you. You scooted to the end of your bed and grabbed him by the belt, pulling him forward. You peppered kisses across his abdomen and just above his pantline, forcing him to let out a deep, soft growl. He leaned down to kiss you again before removing his pants. You took the opportunity to slide out of your robe, and you heard him gasp, looking at your body in a way that made you feel wanted. Blushing, you tried to cover yourself, but he grabbed your arms to stop you. “No, mi hermosa. You don’t need to hide. You are the most beautiful…” He leaned down and kissed you again. “You are perfect.”

You felt a few tears form in your eyes as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down on top of you. He was careful not to crush you, but you didn’t care. You wanted all of him right now. “Javi?” you said grabbing his face. “Can you do something for me?”

“Anything,” he breathed. 

“Make me forget,” she added, “make me forget my heart was ever broken and I ever lived a life before this moment.”

He leaned down and kissed away the two tears on your cheeks. “Mi hermosa,” he whispered. He kissed your jaw and moved down your neck as his hands traveled farther south on your body. They hovered right between your legs, but he stopped and looked at you for permission. 

“Sí,” you smiled, “yo estoy tu hermosa. Solo tuyo, mi Javi.”

He let his fingers slide between you as you let out a loud moan as the sudden stimulation. “Solo tuyo.”

You started to close your eyes, but Javi stopped you and whispered, “Mírame, Y/N.”

Your fingers dug into his back, and you looked into his eyes. You both were looking deep into each other’s eyes as he continued to toy with and tease you. He rubbed circles on your clit, massaging you to the point of madness. You felt yourself on the brink and you reached down to stop him, even though he continued. “Javi, te necesito.”

“Diga de nuevo.”

You kissed him, tasting all of him. He inserted one finger in and curled it, causing you to moan into your kiss. You could feel his arousal against your leg, knowing he needed you too. His curled finger rubbing circles inside of you before it was joined by another finger. You continued looking deep into his eyes. His pupils had dilated so much that you no longer saw the beautiful, chocolate brown irises. He was pleasuring you, taking care of you, despite his desire to have you for himself. “Javi, I need you,” you replied, hoping he’d finally give in.

He removed his fingers, licking them clean. You’d never seen anything more arousing, and you ran your leg down his as he slowly slid into you. You let out a loud gasp, feeling him fill you completely. “Are you okay?” he asked, wiping hair off your face.

You bit your bottom lip to suppress a moan and smiled. You ground your hips into his to answer his question. He rolled over so you were in his lap, as he held you close to him, kissing your jaw, neck, collarbone, breasts. You moved slow at first drawing out of him low moans. His breathing picked up pace with each rock of your hips. You felt him help you as he thrust into you. You arched your back and he kissed your chest. His soft, silky skin felt good against yours, and even better inside of you. He wrapped his hands around your waist as he moved with you. “Javi,” you moaned. 

He moaned your name in return as the two of you began to pick up pace. You started to tighten even more around him as you felt yourself coming close. He hissed and moaned, telling you he was close. He rolled you back under him, taking each thrust slow at first, grinding his hips against yours when he filled you. You dug your fingers into his back and felt your toes curl. “Come for me, hermosa,” he said, licking his thumb and placing it on your clit to create more friction. 

You let out a much louder moan. You looked into his eyes as he rubbed you in circles at the same pace as his thrusts. You pulled him to you, wrapping your legs around him as he began to move faster. His moans and breathing picked up as both of you came to the end. You felt your body clench around him and you cried out in euphoric pleasure. He continued his thrusts as you came again, before he finally had his release.

Javi balanced himself on his forearms above you and kissed you softly before nuzzling his nose against you. “Mi perfecta hermosa.” He rolled his side and pulled you against him. You rested your arm on his chest as you lightly ran your nails on him. 

**His POV**

He had his arm wrapped around her, holding her close. He was afraid that if he let her go, he’d wake up from this dream. He looked down at her and felt his heart swell. He’d never been so happy in his entire life than he was in this moment. She moved to where she was laying on his chest, as she looked down into his eyes. She smiled at him and kissed his nose. Then she kissed each cheek before finally kissing his lips. “Now what?” she asked.

He sighed. “I didn’t think I’d actually get this far,” he laughed.

Y/N kissed him again. “Do you have to go in today? Or is it another ‘Steve’s got it covered, so I can be late’ type of day?”

He laughed. “I can always pull the ‘I stayed up all night writing a report for you assholes’ card.” She leaned into him and kissed him deeper again. His heart was beating so loud in his ears as he held her close. “I just want to stay here, in your arms.” 

She ran her fingers through his hair to smooth it out and he felt his exhaustion fall over him. When his eyes closed, he felt her curl up at his side, wrapping her arms tightly around him. 

He must have drifted off, because he was startled by a loud banging on her bedroom door. “Peña, we gotta fucking go!” he heard Steve on the other side. 

She startled awake as well, looking up at him. Her eyes lit up when he looked down at her. Javi lightly kissed her before rolling off the bed to grab his clothes. 

Steve pounded on the door again. “Shit’s hit the fan, Peña. Move!”

He turned to face her. “I’m sorry, mi hermosa.”

She grabbed her robe and sighed. “I understand.”

After putting his pants on and grabbing his shirt, he leaned down and kissed her. “I have to be a fool to leave right now.”

Steve beat on the door. “Peña!”

Javi made sure your robe was secured before yanking the door open. “What the fuck do you want?” he asked.

“Escobar. There was an attack.”

She rose and joined Peña in the doorway, wrapping her arm around him. Instinctively, he pulled her closer to him. “What happened?” his voice deepened as he realized the severity of the situation.

“There was an attack on a plane. A bomb made it on board the flight that Gaviria was supposed to be on.”

“Fuck,” he said. He felt her arms tighten around him, almost as if she knew. She knew he was blaming himself, beating himself up over the senseless violence. She was keeping him grounded, reminding him that this was not his fault. He was a good man, and was doing everything he could to end this. He turned to her and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be back tonight.”

“And then we can talk?” she smiled, giving him a wink.

“You mean didn’t do that already?” Steve dryly added.

“Fuck you, Murphy,” they said together.

“I don’t even know how to respond to that.” He motioned at the two of them standing with the same annoyed expression.

Javi pulled his shirt on and buttoned up. She ran into her room and returned with his jacket. He smiled at the small gesture and kissed her. “I’ll bring dinner for you and Kate.”

“Shit,” she said, looking around her apartment. “Where is she?”

Steve laughed. “She’s down the hall with Connie.”

“Not anymore!” she exclaimed. “Do you mean to tell me you guys fucked and had no second thought about my whereabouts? Had no idea I was gracious enough to excuse myself?”

Javi and Y/N blushed and looked at each other. “Sorry,” Javi replied.

“Peña, we gotta go. NOW!”

“Cuidate, mi Javi hermoso.”

“Siempre, mi perfecta hermosa.” He kissed her deeply one last time before pulling himself away from her and out of the door. They both jogged down the stairs and hopped in Peña’s Jeep. 

“Did you even sleep?” Steve asked as they backed out of the garage and started making their way to the embassy.

Peña ignored him. 

“What time did you leave last night?”

He looked at his watch and saw it was 9:00 AM. “Three hours ago.”

Steve tried to stifle a laugh and failed. He looked out the window and shook his head. “I guess you have your priorities straightened out then,” he said.

“Fuck off, Murphy.” 

Steve slapped his shoulder. “I’m happy for you, man. Really. We were wondering if she would ever be able to move on.”

He felt his heart swell as he remembered what she said to him:

> _“Can you do something for me?”_
> 
> _“Anything,” he breathed._
> 
> _“Make me forget,” she added, “make me forget my heart was ever broken and I ever lived a life before this moment.”_

He smiled at the memory and turned on the radio just a bit. “Rhiannon” started playing over the speakers in his Jeep. It took Peña back to when she leaned back in the passenger seat singing this song. She was in a concert tee and short shorts that made it hard for him to concentrate on the road. 

> _“Sí,” she smiled, “yo estoy tu hermosa. Solo tuyo, mi Javi.”_

“I have to be out of my mind to let you drag me away right now,” he said, annoyed.

Steve laughed again and shook his head. “She’s going to have you domesticated before long. Any t-shirts or sweatshirts you love, you might as well hand over. They’re hers now.”

“She can have whatever she wants.” _She already owns my body and soul_ , he thought to himself. 

“You say that now. The second she starts stealing all the covers and half the mattress, don’t come crying to me,” he chided.

Peña pulled into the Embassy lot and turned to Murphy. “All I know is if I don’t make it home tonight, she might hunt me down. We didn’t really get the chance to talk,” he said.

“I didn’t think you would,” Steve laughed, getting out of the Jeep, “then again, isn’t that how you normally get information out of your informants?”

He glared at his partner, severely annoyed. “And can we stop bringing that up? She’s not my informant, and she never will be.”

Steve slung his arm around Peña’s shoulder. “I know, because if she was I’d have to kick your ass. Connie wouldn’t even have to make me do that. Don’t hurt her, Javier.”

Peña shoved him off him. “I don’t understand how her fiance could ever hurt her. But if I ever meet him, I might kick his ass.”

“So…” Steve said. “Home?”

“What?”

“Nothing. I just never heard you refer to that complex as home before. Usually it’s ‘my place’ or ‘that shithole’.”

“I never had reason to call it home before.”

Steve nodded, knowingly. “I know what you mean,” he said, “they make all of this shit worth it.”

**Your POV**

Kate stared at you with a giant grin on her face. “I’m _so glad_ I’m still here. The international calling charges would have been astronomical. Let me go get Connie.”

“Kate!” You exclaimed, but it was too late. You walked back into your room to throw on some clothes, despite the fact you had yet to take a shower. 

They both barged into your room. Kate went to sit on your bed, but then immediately stopped. “Couch?” she asked. “I would much rather wait until you cleaned your sheets.”

You smiled at her and followed them out into the living room. Kate was chomping at the bit to ask questions. But instead you started spilling, saving only the most intimate details for yourself. “He didn’t say anything when he walked in. He looked at me, half crazed, and then kissed me as soon as I opened the door.”

“Okay, so I gotta know,” Kate began, “because I remember you telling us about your first time with Michael.”

You blushed at the thought of comparing the two, but you already knew the answer. You sipped your coffee and smiled at them. “Michael who?”

Kate and Connie squealed with excitement. “Memory wiping good, huh?”

Laughing you nodded. “Better. Let’s just say, Javi isn’t as selfish as Michael, and that was even with us kinda rushing through everything.”

“Rushing? He was here for almost two and a half hours!”

You shrugged and sipped your coffee again. “So you guys just skipped talking and went right to sex?” Connie laughed.

“Con, when I saw him in my room, I completely forgot what I wanted to say to him, and he clearly had no idea what to say to me. Definitely the best sex I have ever had, though.”

She shook her head. “I’m sorry about my husband just barging in, but this plane attack…”

She trailed off and looked into her drink. The three of you sat in silence for a few minutes thinking. Your heart instantly sank when you realized what all this meant now. “Connie?” you started. She looked up at you and reached across the table. 

“It doesn’t get any easier,” she replied, almost knowing exactly what you were thinking. “The late nights aren’t even the worst of it. I worry every day for Steve’s safety, holding my breath until he’s standing in front of me again. I wish I could tell you the opposite, but I’m not about to lie to you. You need to understand what you’re getting into.”

You slid down in your chair. “Look,” you sighed, “we aren’t together. We just fucked once. If anything, it was something we both needed to get out of our systems.”

Connie rolled her eyes and looked at Kate. “We know better,” Kate said. 

You nodded. “I know. So do I.”

“Steve said they had a long conversation last night when he got off the plane,” Connie added, “about you. He honestly didn’t think he would get this far. He’s got a lot of demons, and because of them, Javi doesn’t think he’s good enough for you.”

Kate let out a cry. “Oh! He’s straight out of a novel. Connie, I need you to find me Mr. Perfect, please.”

Connie laughed. “Sorry, they’re both taken,” indicating you and herself.

You leaned back on the couch and smiled, replaying what happened. He made you feel so alive with every touch and kiss. Every time he called you perfect, you wanted to cry. Michael never called you perfect, not once in the ten years you’d been together. Javi made love to you. He was careful and generous. You knew, if he wanted to, he could have been rougher and more demanding, but he was more focused on you and your needs. The look on his face when he saw you naked made you blush. Javi looked at you like you were the first woman he’d ever seen. 

> _“No, mi hermosa. Don’t hide. You are beautiful.” He leaned down and kissed her again. “You’re perfect.”_

You prayed he’d make it home tonight. That he’d return to you safe. You wanted to talk to him about this complex relationship that had developed over the last few weeks, but most importantly, you wanted to curl up in his arms again with him embracing you and making you forget all the shit that you went through just to get to this moment. You wanted to feel safe from the shit show that was your life. 

“Normally, I’d say to wipe the post-coital grin off your face, but since you fucked the embodiment of a god, I’ll let it slide,” Kate said, throwing a pillow at you.

“You’re the worst,” you laughed, “but not wrong.”

Connie excused herself to start making her way down to the hospital, and you continued to lean back on the couch grinning. Kate walked over to your radio and turned it on. “Rhiannon” started playing, which widened your smile even more.

**Translations**

  * _¿Qué quieres que haga? - What do you want me to do?_
  * _Sí, yo estoy tu hermosa. Solo tuyo. - Yes I am “your beautiful.” Only yours._
  * _Mírame. - Look at me._
  * _Te necesito. - I need you._
  * _Diga de nuevo. - Say it again._
  * _Cuidate. - Be careful._
  * _Siempre. - Always._




	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Javi talk about where your relationship is headed. There is a significant time jump, but don’t worry I fill in you on what you missed during that time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Language, Sexual Innuendos, SMUT (with some fluff/ Soft!Javi), mild violence (Javi punches someone).

**Your POV**

You played with his hair as he rested his head in your lap. It had been a long couple of days, and really the only time you saw each other was the night before Kate left. He brought home dinner from his favorite restaurant and two bottles of wine for you. You still hadn’t had the chance to talk about whatever _this_ was. He opened his eyes up and looked at you with a wide grin on his face. You leaned down and lightly kissed him. When you pulled away he frowned. “What’s wrong?” You asked.

“I haven’t taken you out on a proper date. If my father knew that, he’d ring my neck,” he laughed, running his down your cheek.

You sweetly smiled. “Are you asking me out on a date, Javier Peña?”

His grin turned devilish. “I am, but only if you say yes.”

You sighed and looked down at him, still running your fingers through his hair. He hummed and closed his eyes. You knew he was exhausted. After everything that happened, Escobar brokered a deal with Gaviria and began building La Catedral. Connie and Steve were in the process of adopting a little girl whose mother was murdered by Escobar’s men, and you were starting work next week. Javi was stressed about all of these sudden changes and dealing with Escobar’s prison. He told you this was a bullshit deal and Escobar had basically won. He was hardly even getting a slap on the wrist. Javi felt like all of their hard work to bring the narco down was all for naught. 

So, you did what you knew best and just held him. He looked so peaceful in your lap as he smiled with his eyes closed, relaxing under your touch. You didn’t want to bring up your relationship, stressing him out more, but you didn’t know when you would have another chance. “You still haven’t answered me,” he said, eyes still closed. 

You laughed at him. “Yes, Javi, I will go out with you.” You saw him smile, and your heart stopped. No man had made you feel this happy in years. As you reflected on your relationship with Michael, you realized, you both were miserable in the last few years. You stayed together out of convenience. Now, you were truly happy. However, you had to know where this was going. “Javi?” You started.

“Hmm?” He replied, lost in your touch and almost asleep.

“We never actually talked,” you said.

His eyes slowly opened and he stared up at you. “I know. I just don’t know how to say it.”

“Say what?”

He sighed and grabbed your hand, running his fingers through yours; his head never leaving your lap. “You know…”

You kept running your fingers through his hair. “No, I don’t. I’m coming off a long-term and very serious relationship. I need clarity. I like you, Javi, but if this isn’t the same for you, I need to know. I’m not about to get hurt again.”

He kissed your palm and then the inside of your wrist. “You know,” he began, “several years ago, I had a fiancée.”

Your eyes were gaping at him. “What?”

He nodded and continued to play with your hand. “We were high school sweethearts. I just got a job at the DEA and was assigned to come down here. I knew how dangerous it would be to bring my new family, and I couldn’t put her through that. Now? I couldn’t even imagine.”

You stopped playing with his hair and stared at him. “What happened?”

He took a deep breath and looked up into your eyes. “I left her at the altar.”

Your heart stopped and you were instantly upset with him. “Javi! Do you know how humiliating that had to have been for her? Standing there, realizing you aren’t coming, and then having to tell everyone the wedding is cancelled.” You had flashbacks to having to tell your friends and family the wedding was cancelled. So many of them pitied you, and that was the last thing you wanted. You couldn’t imagine how this poor woman felt.

“I know,” he said, “just let me finish.” He took a deep breath. “I knew what I did was wrong. I was a moron and betrayed her trust. I have no idea if she moved on, or what. But the thing was, as guilty as I felt about leaving her, I also felt relieved. We had grown up and became different people together. We were no longer in love. It was just convenient.”

You looked down at him, wanting to kiss him. It was like he read your mind, and you smiled. “That’s how the last few years felt with Michael, before he cheated on me,” you said softly.

He reached up and touched your face. “He made the biggest mistake of his life when he did.”

You kissed him lightly and then pulled away. “Why did you tell me that?”

“When I left Lorraine, I thought, how could we have been together for so long and I just not love her anymore? Was I incapable of love? I felt empty and lost, and I tried to fill that gap with frivolous sex. So, for years, that’s what I did.” You saw him swallow a lump in his throat and return his attention back to your hands. “And then you walked into my life and all of that changed. I don’t want to go to my apartment with some random woman, whose face I wouldn’t remember once she left. I want to come back here, to your face that lights up when I see you, looking at me like I’m a hero. You make all the shit I have to go through worth it.”

You were almost certain that your heart burst. “Oh, Javi,” You cried. Tears streamed down your face. He finally sat up and pulled you into his arms, wiping away your tears. You looked up at him and kissed him. “I’m sorry I ever doubted…”

“No. You never have to apologize to me,” he said delicately kissing your cheeks.

You relaxed back into the sofa and he laid back down in your lap, so you could continue massaging his scalp. “I don’t deserve you,” you said.

He looked up at you and smiled. “Hermosa, you deserve better than me. I’m the one that should figure out what I did right to deserve you.”

You smiled at him and shook your head. Your fingers ran through his hair, and he started to doze off in your lap again. If you could have frozen time, you would have done so in that moment. “I was thinking we could go to that club you like so much,” he said, eyes closed.

“No,” you replied, “I would much rather go to your favorite place in Bogotá.”

He smiled and nuzzled your stomach. “Then it wouldn’t be a date, because that’s right here.”

You tugged on his hair a little, and his eyes opened. A dangerous fire burned behind them, daring you to tug on his hair again. “Other than right here, Peña,” you growled, tugging his hair again.

Faster than you expected, he flipped around and had you pinned under him. “I’ll give you a reason to tug my hair, if you keep doing it.”

“Oh yeah?” You asked, daring him to follow through with his threat. You grabbed the back of his head and kissed him, balling his hair into your fist and tugging. 

He moaned into your kiss and pulled away. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he said, scooping you up in his arms. 

You giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him. “You better not hurt me,” you warned.

He winked at you, “Only the good kind. You know, where you won’t walk straight for a week.”

You gasped and slapped his shoulder. “That’s the spirit,” he laughed.

The phone rang.

“Ignore it,” he said, “the machine can get it.”

You wiggled until he let you go. “It might be important,” you replied.

He sighed. “If you take too long, I _will_ start without you.”

Laughing, you shook your head and walked to the receiver, Javi disappeared into your room. “Hello.” Your voice sang, looking into your room where you saw Javi seductively sitting at the end of your bed. 

“Thank God it’s you!” The voice exclaimed.

You froze and the smile faded from your face.

**His POV**

He saw the smile disappear from her face completely, and he felt his heart race. He moved off the bed and walked to her. He could hear a masculine voice at the other end of the line.

“Kate kept hanging up. She wouldn’t let me talk to you at all. Saying something about how you’re finally happy with a real man in your life.”

“I told you to stop calling. Who gave you my number?” She said, her voice quaking. 

Javi immediately knew who was on the phone, and he felt his blood boil. “Hannah got it for me.”

She scoffed. “Is that all she did for you?”

“Come on, Y/N. I told you it was a _mistake_. I fucked up. Come home so we can talk.”

“No.” She said dryly. Javi’s heart had been racing the entire time he stood there, terrified she would change her mind and want her ex back. But her simple “no” gave him hope.

“There is nothing for you in Colombia. Your family and friends are here. Come home.”

“I have a life here. I love my new life, because it hasn’t decided to fuck me over. I’m happy, finally, and if you actually cared for me the way you claim you do, then you’d leave me alone.”

He heard Michael sigh. “I can’t do that. I don’t want to go through life without you. You’re my best friend. I was just scared. Marriage is a _huge_ commitment and I was afraid I wasn’t ready.”

Javi saw tears form in her eyes. He worried they were tears of joy as opposed to anger or sadness, but in that moment he decided that whatever her decision was, he would respect it. He promised that he would never hurt her. “Michael, I don’t care what you say. I’m staying here in Colombia with my new apartment, job, and boyfriend.”

His heart stopped at the title and he smiled at her. “Boyfriend? Are you fucking kidding me, Y/N? Did the last ten years mean _nothing_ to you, so you had to go jump into the first guy’s bed that gave you a glance?”

“Are you fucking kidding _me_ with that bullshit, right now?” She yelled into the phone.

Javi had enough of this. He took the phone from her. “Listen here you motherfucker, leave her alone. She doesn’t want you anymore, and if you so much as dial the first three digits of her number again, I will personally fly up there and beat the shit out of you myself.” He slammed the phone down on the receiver so hard that it fell off the wall, taking some drywall with it. He bent down to pick it up and place it on the counter. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

She stood there with her hands over her mouth and tears in her eyes. She leapt into his arms, and he felt his heart start again. “Don’t ever apologize to me,” she smiled, quoting him, “you’re perfect.”

He smiled and kissed her deeply. “Now,” he replied, scooping her into his arms, “where were we?”

“You wanted to make sure I couldn’t walk for a week,” she laughed.

“Right,” he said, tossing her on the bed. She bounced and laughed. “So,” he added as he climbed over her. “I’m your boyfriend?”

“I-I just wanted him…”

Javi kissed her. “I like it. Say it again.”

She laughed and smiled against the kiss she planted on him. “Tú eres mi novio.”

“Solo tuyo,” he replied. 

He ran his hands down her sides of her shirt until he reached the hem of it, slowly lifting it off her and throwing it somewhere behind him. He trailed his kisses down her neck and jaw, spending a little time at the valley between her breasts as he reached under to her to unhook her bra. She let out a sigh and ran her fingers through his hair. She pulled his face to hers as she undid the buttons on his shirt before pushing it off him. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, kissing him deeply. He again trailed down her body. His warm mouth was a welcomed surprise to her breasts as he teased them mercilessly. She moaned his name loudly, only making him work more thoroughly. He kept doing it until they were sore from overstimulation, and then he continued his way down. 

Javi grabbed the hem of her shorts and underwear and slowly slid them down and off her body before returning to his job. He knelt down in front of her, kissing and sucking on her inner thighs. He threw her legs over his shoulders, opening her up more for him. Her scent was intoxicating; from that alone, he was afraid he was going to come. He bent his head forward and let his tongue do the work. She immediately grabbed a fist full of his hair and cried out. He hummed against her, sending another wave of pleasure coursing through her body. “You’re so beautiful,” he said without picking his head up. His eyes met hers as he ran his tongue up and down her center. 

“Javi,” she breathed, “please.”

“More?” he asked, with a large smirk on his face.

All she could do was nod. He licked one of his fingers and inserted it in slowly, stretching her out before sending in another. He curled them against her, moving them in slow circles as he continued pleasuring her with his mouth. He felt her legs shivering on his shoulders and her body clenching around his fingers, telling him that she was close. “Come for me, hermosa,” he said. 

He curled his finger again and slowly ran it down the inside of her. She cried out in pleasure, grinding her hips against him for more, and he didn’t stop. Her body shook as he continued with his ministrations, sending her into another orgasmic wave of pleasure. She cried out even louder this time his name as he finally came up for air, cleaning her off his fingers. He stood and removed his pants, showing that he was more than ready for her. She started to sit up, eager to return the favor, but he stopped her. “Not right now. You can return the favor later,” he winked.

She smiled and laid back down, waiting for his body to envelop hers. With ease he slid into her, “Fuck,” he said into her neck.

She let out a gasp, remembering how good he felt inside of her, filling her completely. “Don’t move, yet,” she said. 

He laughed. “Why?”

“I just want to feel you.”

He’d never felt this way before, his heart bursting at the seams as he leaned down to kiss her. “You feel so good,” he said.

She slowly grinded her hips into his. “You feel even better,” she replied, kissing where his neck met his jaw.  
  
He growled and grabbed her hair, pulling her head back just a little to expose more of her neck as he returned the sentiment. He started with a slow agonizing pace that caused her to involuntarily grind into him more begging for him to go faster. “More, Javi,” she whined.

He smiled and picked up the pace just a little. She dug one hand into his back while the other held on to his hair. She wrapped her legs around him so she could pull him in closer, deeper. “Oh, J-javi,” she cried as he thrust a little faster, unable to control the pace as much as he wanted to. She bit her bottom lip to stifle a cry, but failed as he moved his thumb down to her clit for extra friction. He continued his thrusts and applied more pressure to her as she finally came. She cried his name and tugged on his hair, dragging her nails down his back and finally resting on his ass to help drive him deeper. Her hands were enough for him and soon he was coming for her.

Javi rested on his forearms just above her and smiled. She ran her hands up his chest to his face and lightly kissed him. “I don’t care what Michael says, I’m never leaving here,” she sighed.

He rubbed his nose on hers. “You can’t now,” he said, “I’m not letting go of the best sex I’ve _ever_ had.”

Y/N blushed at the compliment and kissed him again. He rolled to the side and pulled her against his chest, his eyes feeling heavy. “Did I wear you out?” she laughed.

“Don’t worry,” he said, kissing her head, “I’m not finished with you tonight. I intend to keep my promise.”

**Your POV**

You woke up early the next morning before Javi and quietly rolled out of bed. You stood up to stretch, and you felt an ache in your muscles. Dammit. He made good on his promise, because you were sore. It was a good kind of sore though. It was a deep muscular burn that gave you chills all over your body every time you moved. Images from that night flashed before your eyes as you grinned. You picked up his button down and slipped it on as you headed out of the room. When you reached the bedroom door, you turned and saw him still peacefully sleeping on what was normally your side of the bed. His hair stuck out in all directions, making him look a little boyish and innocent. Your heart swelled when you saw his arm reach across the bed for you. 

You started a pot of coffee for both of you, but mainly for him as you started making a quick breakfast. You mixed together some scrambled eggs and fried up some bacon. Just as you were starting the toast, you saw your bedroom door crack open and a very sleepy Javi appeared in the doorway. “What are you doing?” he asked, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

You smiled and fixed him a plate and cup of coffee, setting it in front of a stool at her counter. “I made breakfast,” you said.

He walked into the kitchen in his boxers and saw you cooking in only his shirt, and he wrapped his arms around your waist and held you against him. “So, you’re telling me I’ve got a woman who can cook?”

You leaned back into his arms and craned your neck for a kiss, which he gladly gave. He took in a deep breath and sighed. “I don’t know about you, but I am starving.”

You made your own plate and set the skillet in the sink. “Why do you think I made breakfast? I worked up quite the appetite.”

He watched you walk around the counter and sit down. “I told you I would make good on that promise,” he grinned, taking a bite of eggs. 

You leaned into him and sighed. “I hope that’s a promise you intend to continue to keep.”

He finished eating and went to grab the rest of his clothes. As he walked back into the room, fastening his belt, he said, “Necesito mi camisa, hermosa.”

You gave him a coy and slowly walked around the counter, putting it between the two of you. “Ahora es mío.”

The corners of his mouth twitched as he tried to surprise a smile. “¿Cierto?”

You moved around the counter away from him, ready to bolt if he tried to lunge at you. “Tienes que atraparme.”

He fell right into your trap and lunged at you. Squealing, you ran around the counter and into the living room, placing the couch between you. “ _Hermosa_ ,” he said in a low baritone that almost made your legs fall out from under you. He jumped forward at you to go over the couch, but he failed. Instead he stayed there on the couch, feigning an injury. You slowly walked over to him to gloat in your victory when he sat up fast and grabbed you by the waist, pulling you down into his lap. He kissed you and undid each button on the shirt. 

There was a knock at the door that stopped both of you. Javi let out a low, frustrated sigh and looked at the door. “If that’s Murphy, I might kill him,” he said.

You laughed and stood up, still wearing his shirt. “Peña!” You heard Steve’s voice through the door. 

Grumbling, Javi stood up to answer the door. He opened it and glared at Steve. “A little busy here, Steve.”

Steve laughed when he saw you standing in the living room, trying to make sure his shirt covered the important bits. “Grab your shirt, and let’s go.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to do,” he said, giving you his usual devilish grin over his shoulder. 

“I told you, man, it’s all over once she claims your stuff. You’re never getting it back.”

Javi looked back at Steve and sighed. “I’ll be down in five. I need to run to my apartment to change.” He closed the door and turned to you.

You grinned and slowly walked up to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. “I’ll keep it safe for you,” you said, leaning up for a kiss.

“That’s my favorite shirt,” he laughed, “but it looks better on you.” Kissing you lightly as he walked down to his apartment to change.

***

Months had gone by and you were happier than you’d ever been. Because Escobar was in his “prison” things had calmed down with Javi’s job. You were working at the hospital as a resident, but terrorist attacks by the cartel had subsided for the time being, and thus work was slow. You and Javi were able to spend time together, like a real couple. You went on dates; you spent Sunday afternoons tangled in each other’s arms. After four months you had been together, you had asked Javi, “why don’t we ever go to your apartment?”

He sighed and rested his head on your stomach, running his fingers in circles on your bare flesh. “Because I’m not that guy anymore. That apartment is for the womanizing fuck who fucked up his life.”

You smiled and ran your hands through his hair. “Is that why you only sleep there when I work night shifts?”

He held on to your tighter. “Except I can’t sleep worth a damn in that bed,” he replied.

“Oh yeah? Miss me _that_ _much_?”

He rolled over on his stomach and looked at you. “Yes.”

Your heart stopped, and pulled his face to yours to kiss him. “Then, I have something I would like to give you.” You tried to roll out of bed, but he held you. “Javi, I will be right back.” Reluctantly, he let you go. You walked into the kitchen and dug in your purse for the item you were looking for. You were nervous about this, as it was a huge step in your relationship, but you wanted to move forward. You crawled back into bed and curled up next to him before handing him a key. “This is my spare key.”

He froze and looked at the small metal piece in your hand. “For your apartment?” he asked, voice shaking.

You nodded. “It’s fine if you don’t want it,” you replied as you started to pull it away, but he stopped you, taking the key into his hands.

“No,” he smiled, looking at the key, “I want it.”

You kissed him and then rested your hand on his chest. “That way you can come and go as you please.” He looked at you, his eyes full of apprehension. “What?”

“I-uh…” he started. “I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a while, but I just never could find the right moment.” Your heart was beating fast, but you sat patiently and waited for him to finish speaking. “I-uhh…I…well there really is no other way to build up to this,” he took a deep breath, “I love you.”

You gazed into his eyes and smiled. “Say it again,” you whispered.

“I love you, mi hermosa.”

You grabbed his face with both of your hands and kissed him. As you slowly pulled away, you said, “I love you, Javi.”

He kissed you back and smiled against your lips. 

That was eight months ago, and you had plenty of “i love you’s” between the two of you since. Now, he was practically living in your apartment, with most of his clothes in various drawers in your dresser and his own half of the closet. He was completely domesticated, and loved every element about it. You were sitting down at the dining room table he bought for you eating dinner when he walked in from work. He slid down in the chair adjacent to yours and sighed. “Long day?” you asked, getting up to fix him a plate.

“Turns out La Catedral is the farce I said it would be,” he said. You set the plate down in front of him and then stood behind him to rub his shoulders. “Moncada and Galeano went into the prison yesterday afternoon, and never came back out.”

At this point in your relationship, you were familiar with every member of the Medellín Cartel. Sometimes Javi would bring work home with him, and sit at the table frustrated and half drunk. You’d committed names and faces to memory, just in case you heard or saw anything while you were at the hospital. So, you were familiar with Moncada and Galeano. They were running the cartel for Pablo while he was “inside”. “Are you sure they went in?”

He nodded. “We have pictures of them going in.”

“So what does this mean?”

Javi sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Steve and I leave for Medellín tomorrow.”

You always hated when he left. Your apartment seemed so empty without him there. “For how long?” You ran your hand down his chest, and he held it there for a minute, relishing in your touch.

“I don’t know.” He kissed your hand. “Hopefully not long, mi vida. I should be back before Wednesday.”

He remembered. “I’ll come drag your ass back if you aren’t,” you laughed.

“And miss our anniversary? Not a chance in hell.” He leaned forward and started eating the dinner you had prepared. 

Never in a thousand years would you have ever pictured yourself here: a man who loves you sitting at your dinner table in a beautiful foreign country you now called home. Only three more times since the last time did Michael call you, trying to ruin your happiness by making you feel guilty. And each time, Javi was prepared to jump on a plane to shut him up once and for all, but you had managed to calm him down and talk him out of it. Despite the reminders of the heartache you had suffered more than a year ago, you knew that without it you would never be as happy as you were in that moment. 

**His POV**

Three days. Three fucking days he’d been stuck in Medellín with nothing but photos to show for it. Tomorrow was his anniversary with Y/N and he was not about to miss it. He had important surprises planned for her to celebrate her bringing him back to life. He leaned back in the car and sighed, looking out at the dark streets. “I’m tired of this shit. We aren’t going anywhere. We have proof that he isn’t even living in a prison!” he exclaimed.

Steve looked at the pictures again. “Fuck it,” Steve replied, “We’re going back to Bogotá, and if the government isn’t going to do shit, then we’re turning these into the press.”

Peña smiled. “It’s about time you had a smart idea.”

“Fuck you, Peña.” 

Peña put the vehicle in drive and drove them back to their complex that the Embassy bought them in the city to catch some sleep before heading back home. “We’ll drop these photos off in the morning,” he said. 

They walked in and he looked at the phone. He usually called her every night, but it was later than usual. “Do you think she’s still awake?”

Steve was already asleep on the couch. Peña rolled his eyes and grabbed the phone. It rang several times with no answer, and he began to grow very anxious. Finally on the fifth ring, he heard it stop. He assumed it was the answering machine until he heard her groggy voice on the other end. “Javi? Is everything alright?”

He smiled. “Everything is fine, mi vida. I just wanted to hear your voice before I went to bed, and to tell you I’m coming home tomorrow.”

He heard her gasp and could tell she was smiling. “I’ll be wearing your favorite button down when you walk in,” she said, “and nothing else.”

Heat flushed his face as images of the two of them together danced across his memory. “Well, now you’re just ruining everything else I had planned.”

She laughed. “Well, it’s exactly what I had planned.”

Javi grinned. “Te quiero, mi vida.”

“Te quiero, mi amor.” When she hung up the phone, he held it to his ear for a second longer, as if he was still absorbing her voice through the receiver. 

***

After they dropped the pictures off, bright and early in the morning, the story ran. People were outraged and demanded the government do something about this. Javi ran to the Embassy before going home, but Steve headed on home. He was there for several hours, cleaning up the mess the news article caused before he was able to head home. “Javi!” one of the secretaries came running after him.

“What is it?” he asked, turning around.

“Connie’s on the phone for you. She says it’s urgent.” 

  
He felt his stomach drop and ran back to her desk to take the call, praying you were fine. “Connie?” he said into the phone.

“Javi!” she sounded panicked. “I was walking outside, and…” She stopped to breathe.

“Is she okay?”

“Y/N’s fine. It’s Steve. Someone took Steve!”

“What? No, I just…” he stopped, “Okay, calm down. Tell me what you found.”

“The car was outside the garage, still idling, the keys still in the ignition.”

Peña’s stomach dropped and he thought he was going to be sick. “Did you call embassy security?”

“No. I wanted to talk to you first.”

“Good. Don’t.”

“Wait,” she said in a much louder tone. “Why not?”

He sighed and tried to calm her. “Nothing. I just… I don’t want to ring any alarms before I check things out.”

“What are you guys up to?”

“Connie, just try to relax, okay?” he said in the same soothing voice he used on Y/N before. “I’m sure everything’s fine. I’m going to take care of this. I’ll find out where he is, all right? Y/N has the day off today. Go there so you’re not alone.”

“Please find him, Javi,” she begged.

“I will.”

***

He spent hours trying to find Steve, and just when he was about to tell the Ambassador everything, Steve appeared in the embassy. “Steve!” he exclaimed, running to his partner, “where the fuck have you been? Connie’s been worried-”

“Where the fuck have I been? How about with the goddamn Cali Cartel? That’s where I’ve been.” He seemed angrier than normal.

“What did Herrera say?”

“What’d he say? What’d he _say_?” He grabbed Peña by the collar of his shirt and slammed him into the wall. “You fucking gave him that information. He’s got pictures on me, he’s got tape on me, Javi.” He slammed him against the wall again. “Answer me.”

“What?!” he asked in disbelief.

“Did you give that shit to Herrera?”

Hurt by the sudden accusation, he replied, “Do you think I would do that to you?”

“Are you playing with Cali, Javi? That your version of ‘all in’?”

He felt his blood beginning to boil. “I got one goal: Get Escobar.”

Steve was growing angrier by the second. “That’s not an answer. Who gave him the fucking photos?”

Peña stared at his partner, angered by the sudden lack of faith and trust between them. He refused to answer the question, knowing no matter what he said, Steve wouldn’t believe him. 

“Fine. See ya around, Jav. I’m gonna go call my wife.” He let go of him and left the hallway. 

Javi shook his head and made his way home to the one person who would believe him no matter what. He shuffled his way up the stairs and fumbled to get his keys out of his pocket. He opened the door to her apartment and stopped in his tracks. Sitting on his couch was a man not much younger than him looking distraught. He could tell he was American with his sandy blonde hair. He’d seen this man before in pictures. He was the bane of his existence. He looked around for her and found her sitting at the dining room table crying. As soon as she saw Javi, she ran to his arms. “You’re home! Oh thank god, I was so worried,” she exclaimed, “After Connie…and Steve.” She peppered his face with kisses, but he stopped and set her to the side.

“Who’s this?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

She turned to the man on the couch, and her demeanor changed from ecstatic to annoyed. “You need to leave,” she said to him, “I don’t care how shitty you feel. I don’t care about you anymore. Leave, Michael.”

As soon as Javi heard his name, something in him snapped. He’d had a rough day as it was, and this made it worse. He stormed over to Michael and picked him up by his shirt. “Who the fuck are _you_?”

“I’m your worst fucking nightmare. Get out of our apartment.” Javi’s voice suddenly became deeper and more aggressive than he’d ever been before.

“Are you _living_ with him now?” He shot a glance over to her. “Baby, just come home. You don’t need to ‘find yourself’ any more.”

“Don’t look at her. Don’t speak to her. She’s not your ‘baby’.”

Michael looked Javi up and down and sneered. “She doesn’t love you,” he said, “you’re just a rebound. She’s going to come back to me. She always does.”

“Fuck you, Michael. Get out.” Tears streaming down her face again.

Javi had enough of this man breaking her heart. He hit him with his right hook, causing him to drop on the ground. “Get the fuck out,” Javi said.

“Fucker! I think you broke my nose,” he said, trying to catch the blood running out of it.

Y/N stood off to the side, watching Javi do what she couldn’t. “If you bother her again…” he felt his voice shaking, “I know ways to make you disappear.”

Michael crawled to the door. “She won’t stay with you forever, man. She’ll come back to me like she always does. There’s too much history here for her to just forget.” He looked at Y/N. “You know where I’m staying.”

Javi started to storm over to the door, but she grabbed his arm and stopped him, wrapping him in her arms. It made him forget why he was mad in the first place. He looked behind her and watched as the piece of shit scrambled down the stairs. He stood in silence taking her in before kissing her. “I’m sorry that our anniversary is almost over,” he said.

“I’m just glad you’re home,” she breathed.

“What was he doing here?” he asked, not really wanting the answer.

She wiped her eyes and looked up at him. “He said he figured giving me space was for the best, but now that I’ve had time to cool down, I was finally ready to hear his side of the story. He figured the best way to do that was to tell me in person. He’s been here for about three hours, and we argued the entire time.”

He placed his hand under her chin and lifted her face up so he could see her. “He’s gone now. I’ll make sure he never bothers you again, mi vida.”

“I hate him so much. I hate what he does to me. He shouldn’t still have this power over me,” she said, crying again. Javi bent down and kissed her tears away before planting the softest kiss on her lips.

“The only thing I like about him,” he said, “is that he gave me you.”

She melted in his arms and kissed him. “Te quiero, mi Javi.”

He rubbed his nose on her. “Te quiero, mi hermosa.” His eyes soon turned devilish. “Well, all of my anniversary plans got shot to shit.”

She laughed and pushed him away. He watched her seductively move her hips as she walked to the door to close it. Slowly, she locked the deadbolt and leaned against the hard wooden surface. “That just leaves more time for mine,” she said, bending her finger for him to come to her. 

Obediently, Javi walked over. “I think I’m in trouble,” he said, pinning her to the door.

“And why is that?”

He kissed where her neck and shoulder met. “Because you’ve taken away my free will. Last year, when you came downstairs in that red dress, you looked at me through those long eyelashes and doe eyes. From then on, I knew you had me. I was yours the second you said ‘Tú, si no tienes cuidado.’ That’s the moment I fell in love with you.”

She swooned against the door and held him to her as she kissed him more passionately than earlier. He’d missed her more than anything over the last few days he’d been gone, and he planned on making it up to her for ruining their anniversary. After all, everything he did was for her.

There was a knock at the door, and Javi rolled his eyes, trying to contain his anger. He looked through the peephole and saw Steve standing there. “What do you want now?” he asked, cracking the door.

“Escobar’s escaped.”

“Wh-what?”

“The hunt is on. He’s fled La Catedral.”

**Translations**

  * _Tú eres mi novio. - You are my boyfriend._
  * _Solo tuyo. - Only yours._
  * _Necesito mi camisa. - I need my shirt.  
_
  * _Ahora es mio. - It’s mine now._
  * _¿Cierto? - Is that right?_
  * _Tienes que atraparme. - You will have to catch me._
  * _Te quiero: I love you_




	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Javi take your relationship a step further. Javi receives a phone call that will start a chain of events between the two of you: one that involves many secrets. They can’t live in bliss forever, guys.

**Your POV  
**

With Pablo on the run, Javi was busier than ever. He and Steve were sent to Medellín for several days, leaving you and Connie to your own devices. Baby Olivia was teething, and raising the baby on her own was driving Connie mad. “I just want to go home,” she said one afternoon, crying over a glass of wine while Olivia slept.

You reached for her hand and held it in yours. “They’re going to be okay,” you said, trying to reassure yourself more than her.

Connie wiped her eyes and looked at you. “It’s not just that. We aren’t safe down here, and this isn’t good for Olivia.”

You looked behind Connie and saw suitcases lined up against the wall. “My flight leaves tonight.”

“Connie…but Steve.”

She wiped her eyes again. “I tried to tell him, but he just won’t listen. Leaving is the only way I can get him to pay attention.”

You sighed. You couldn’t imagine leaving Javi, especially now. However, you also didn’t go through what Steve and Connie did. Javi wasn’t kidnapped and missing for hours on end. A part of you understood where she was coming from, and you did your best to use that part to comfort her. “Do you want me to drive you to the airport?”

She shook her head. “No. I don’t want you to get involved. I called a cab.” She let out a small sob. “I’ll call Steve once I get to the airport.”

You took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Where are you going to go?”

“I’m going to stay with my sister until this is over.”

You nodded and picked up your glasses, placing them in the sink for her. “Well, whatever Steve needs…” you trailed off, “Javi and I will look after him for you.”

She smiled, trying to hold back the tears in her eyes. “Thanks, Y/N.”

**His POV**

“So we need to station people here,” he marked on the map with a red sharpie, “and here. Murphy, you and Trujillo are with me.”

Steve’s phone rang. He walked away to answer, and Peña continued to lay out the plan. “No, Connie, listen…” he heard Steve plead. “Just don’t get on that plane. I’ll be right there.” He quickly hung up the phone and grabbed his jacket. “I gotta go, man,” he said.

Javi felt his heart race. He knew Steve and Connie were arguing over safety. His thoughts immediately turned to Y/N, worried she was getting the same ideas. “We leave in fifteen,” he said.

The surrounding officers nodded and dispersed. He grabbed his phone and quickly dialed her number, waiting for her to pick up. It rang several times and there was no answer. _“Hola, I’m not able to come to the phone right now. Leave a message, and I’ll call you back!”_

“Fuck,” he whispered. He dialed again. 

_“Hola, I’m not able to come to the phone right now. Leave a message, and I’ll call you back!”_

“H-hey, mi vida,” he said nervously, “Steve just left here to chase down Connie. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Te quiero.”

He hung up the phone and stood at his desk, worried. She was off today. So, why wasn’t she answering the phone. Javi knew that if she left him, she would have at least called. Unless she left a note. He started to panic, but he needed to focus on the mission. If she was gone, there was nothing he could do about it until he got home that night. He grabbed his jacket and phone and followed Trujillo to the car. “Tu conduces,” Javi said, tossing him the keys. 

His phone rang, and he answered it a little too fast. “Hello?” he said.

“I just got your message,” she said. 

He let out the breath he had been holding when he heard her lyrical voice. “I was just making sure you’re alright,” he said.

She laughed. “You were making sure I didn’t bolt, too. Don’t worry,” she added, “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

He smiled and opened the car door. “You mean I haven’t scared you off, yet?”

“You’re the least scary person I’ve ever met.”

“Then, I have the wrong career.”

She sighed. “Just hurry home. I miss you.”

His heart swelled. “I will. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

He hung up the phone and was able to relax a little more knowing she was still waiting for him when he got home. Trujillo laughed at him as he started the car. “Shut up,” Peña said.

“No digo nada.”

**Your POV**

Steve was miserable without Connie around. You hardly recognized your old friend these days as he dove deeper into the quest for Pablo. Javi was worried about him too. “He’s getting in too deep with Carrillo,” he said, sitting at the table.

“Did…” you paused, afraid to get the answer to your question, “did Carrillo…”

He looked at you, the answer in his eyes. They were haunted, scared; telling you he was the DEA Agent who witnessed it - witnessed Carrillo allegedly killing a young boy. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling his head into your stomach. “I’m so sorry, Javi.”

“Steve thinks getting in with Carrillo will catch Escobar faster, but…” He buried his face into you, breathing you in. “He’s not going to be Steve when this is all over. Hell, I’m not even Javi anymore. I don’t know how you can stand being in the same room as me.”

“Hey,” you said, forcing him to look at you, “Whatever Javi you leave out there is not the one I see here. You said it yourself, ‘Sometimes you gotta do bad things to catch bad people.’ You may hate yourself for that, so that just means I need to love you that much more. When you’re here, I get to see the real you. The Javi that is out there trying to catch a drug lord isn’t you.”

Javi glanced up at you. “I don’t deserve you,” he said.

“Javi, you deserve the world.”

He pulled you down to sit in his lap as he kissed you deeply. Javi tucked a few loose strands of hair behind your ears and lightly grabbed your chin, rubbing your bottom lip with his thumb. You could see him in deep thought, but you didn’t want to disturb him. Instead, you sat there, letting him look at you as you absorbed him: his scent, his touch, his look in his eyes. “I was thinking,” he said nervously, “I much prefer myself when I’m here with you. And…” he paused. “I was thinking, well, what if I didn’t resign the lease on my place next month?”

You smiled. “It’s about fucking time, Peña,” you leaned down to kiss him. 

“I just figured, you know, I don’t spend much time there and…”

Laughing, you placed a finger on his lips. “You don’t need to explain, Javi. I was worried as to why you were keeping it in the first place.”

“Worried?”

You sighed. “A little,” you replied, “worried you’ll wake up one day and be tired of seeing the same face every day, just like…” you stopped yourself. You didn’t want to compare him to Michael, because they were nothing alike. However, his betrayal instilled a specific type of fear in you that frequently haunted your nightmares.

“I may be a moron sometimes, but not _that_ big of one. They’ll have to kill me before I ever leave you.” He scooped you into his arms and carried you into your room, setting you gently down on the bed. He gently placed his hands on either side of your face and kissed you. 

His phone rang in the living room, which caused him to stop for a moment. He growled and closed the door. “I’m not dealing with work now,” he said.

You placed a hand on his chest. “It might be important.”

“They can leave a message,” he tried kissing you again.

“No,” you stopped him, “go answer your phone. I’ll be here when you get back. But, take too long and I will start without you.” He grinned at the little quip, a usual line he’d use on you.

**His POV**

He walked out into the living room and grabbed his phone. “Javi?” a familiar female voice said over the line. “It’s Gabriela.”

“What’s up?” he made it a point to sound annoyed.

“It’s been a while, and I want to see you,” she begged.

He laughed. “I told you, I’m done. Tengo una novia.”

“Javi…” This time the tone of her voice changed from seductive to scared. “Don’t be like that.”

The change did not go unnoticed. “Are you in trouble?”

“Don’t be like that,” she said.

He rested the phone on his forehead, angry with himself. “What do you need?”

He heard her breathing into the phone short, quick breaths. She was in trouble. “All right. Give me…”he looked back into their bedroom. “20 minutes.” He hung up the phone and walked back in. “I need to run to the office, really quick.”

“Is everything alright?” she asked, walking to him, wrapping her arms around him.

His breathing grew quicker. He wanted to tell her, but she wouldn’t understand. She’d been hurt so badly, that she’d be worried the entire time that he wasn’t there for just information. “They found a new lead that they want me to check out really quick.”

“Can’t it wait until morning?”

He shook his head. “It’s time sensitive.”

She pouted and kissed him quickly. “I guess I’ll start without you.”

His heart ached. Technically he wasn’t lying to her; he was just withholding information. _Then why do I feel like I’m betraying her?_ He thought to himself. He kissed her deeply. “I shouldn’t be longer than an hour.”

He quickly turned and grabbed his keys to leave. He didn’t bother turning to look at her, because he knew he wouldn’t leave. He hopped in his Jeep and drove as fast as he could across town to the district he hadn’t visited in over a year. Javi parked just across the street from it and sighed. The last thing he wanted to do was walk into a whorehouse. He slammed the Jeep door shut and walked in with purpose. The minute Gabriela saw him, she jumped into his arms to kiss him. “No, Gabriela,” he said, pushing her away just as her lips barely grazed his, “I have a half hour. What do you need?”

Offended, she turned her attention to the girl on her bed. “She’s a friend of a friend. Maritza, meet Javier.”

He felt rage rise in his chest. “Why are you introducing me to a friend of a friend?”

“She’s in trouble. Just hear her out,” Gabriela begged.

“Goddammit, Gabby. You could have told me over the phone, no?” He was angry. He was lying to the love of his life for _this_. 

“I knew you wouldn’t come!”

“My girl is waiting for me at home. I’m leaving.” He turned to Maritza. “Bye.”

Gabriela grabbed his arms. “Please, hear her out.”

He glared at her and then to Maritza, entertaining the idea she had useful information. “What’s your name? Maritza?” He grabbed a cigarette off Gabby’s dresser and lit it; something he hadn’t done in a long time. “What kind of trouble are you in? Who are you in trouble with?”

“La Quica,” she said, looking him in the eyes.

**Your POV**

Javi had been gone longer than an hour, and you were a little concerned. Whatever happened on that phone call had upset him. He was stiff and short with her as he was leaving, like he was hiding something. He didn’t look back at you, like he normally does, when he left. Your heart hurt a little, feeling the same dread that you felt when you suspected Michael.

 _“I may be a moron sometimes, but not that big of one. They’ll have to kill me before I ever leave you.”_ He said that to you only moments before, but you couldn’t shake your gut feeling.

You grabbed his favorite concert T-shirt that he lounged around in and put it on. You knew he was going to be running late, and so you might as well go to sleep. You must have been in a deep sleep, because you didn’t hear him stumble into the apartment. You felt him sit down on the bed, removing his boots and clothes before climbing into bed. He wrapped his arms around you, which woke you up completely. “You smell like a bar, Javi,” you complained.

He planted a kiss on the back of your neck. “We’re ccelebrating, Iguess.”

You sat up and turned the light on. “Are you drunk?”

Javi giggled and tried to pull you on top of him, but you weren’t moving. “A little?”

“Is that a statement or a question?”

He tried to clear his throat and look up at you. You could see the glazed over look in his eyes telling you he was drunk. “The leadisgoing to tell uswhere Escobaris, t’morrow.” He burped just a little and laughed. “Sorry. CarrilloandI wereplanning.” He motioned for a kiss, but you stopped him.

“No. You smell like a bar. Either take a shower or sleep on the couch,” you laughed, “I don’t want my sheets to smell like cigarettes and booze. Or you’re buying new sheets for our bed.”

He smiled, succumbing to sleep. “ _Our_ bed,” was the last thing he uttered before falling asleep. Little did you know this was the last time you would see Javi smile for a long time.

**Translations**

  * _Tu conduces - You drive._
  * _No diga nada. - I didn’t say anything._
  * _Tengo una novia. - I have a girlfriend._




	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your relationship with Javi is tested after a tragic incident. You worry about his sanity, and he’s more concerned with your safety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Language, Smut, Soft!Javi

**Your POV**

“Anoche hubo una emboscada que resultó en varias muertes de oficiales del Bloque de Búsqueda. Se desconoce si hay sobrevivientes. Entre los muertos está el coronel Carrillo. Muchos sospechan que Pablo Escobar estaba detrás del ataque.” 

That was the news broadcast you woke up to, which instantly caused your heart to drop. Javi didn’t come home last night, and Steve wasn’t answering your calls. You grabbed your house coat and walked down the hall to his apartment and knocked. Much to your surprise, Connie answered. 

As soon as you saw her, you burst into tears. You knew if she was back, something happened. “Where’s Steve?”

She cracked the door open and you saw him sitting on the couch with a drink in his hand and his head bowed. You ran to him and knelt in front of him. “What happened?”

He just shook his head. 

“Where’s Javi?”

“He’s fine. We weren’t allowed to go on the raid,” he mumbled.

 _Thank God_ , you thought. You could kiss their new boss. 

“The information that Javi got….” he paused and tried to swallow some tears. “It was a set up.” His voice cracked just a little, but enough to show that he was upset.

Connie came over and sat in the chair next to their couch, leaning over her knees. 

“Where’s Javi?” you asked again. “He didn’t come home last night.”

Steve shrugged. “The last time I saw him, he was halfway through a bottle of whiskey at the office.”

You sighed, hoping he fell asleep at the office. You slowly stood up. “Maybe he’s made it back by now.”

Shuffling your feet, you headed for the door, but Connie stopped you. She wrapped you in a hug. “He’s going to be fine.”

You nodded as you turned back towards your apartment. Your door was opened, and you saw Javi sitting on the couch, staring at the blank TV Screen. “Javi!” You exclaimed as you closed the door and ran to him. You knelt in front of him and rested your hands on his knees. “I was so worried. I thought….”

“Don’t,” he mumbled.

You froze, unsure of what to say. You just waited for him to speak again. He sat in silence for a long time before looking at you. “It’s all my fault.” Tears brimming at the edge of his eyes.

“How could you have known?” you whispered.

“I-I should have known better.”

You crawled onto the couch next to him and pulled his head into your lap. He turned into you, burying his face in your shirt. “Javi, this is not your fault,” you said as you ran your fingers through his hair. “There is no way you could have known this was bad intel.”

He sat up and looked at you. “My intel got good men murdered at the hands of that motherfucker. I knew it was too good to be true!”

You tried to remain calm, as you understood this was his grieving process. “Javi, you didn’t pull the trigger. You didn’t tell Carrillo and his men to follow the information.”

“It was _my_ lead.”

You saw a piece of paper in his hand. “What’s that?”

He looked down at his clenched fist. “It’s the address of that bitch who set us up.” He stood up and walked to the door. 

“Where are you going?”

“Out.” He stormed out of the apartment, leaving you helpless. You felt the tears you were holding back spill over. You were hurting for Javi, and you had no idea how to help him. He was so lost, so broken. You felt like anything you did to help him just made things worse.

**His POV**

He sat in his Jeep for several minutes staring at the garage wall. He felt like shit for the way he treated her, but then again, he was used to feeling like shit. Javi knew she was just trying to help, but he didn’t want it. No, he didn’t deserve it. He deserved every bit of the pain he felt, every sliver of regret and survivor’s guilt. He was supposed to be with that raid. He should be dead alongside Carrillo. He was hurting, hurting so bad that he didn’t know how to process or deal with it. He looked at the address in his hand, and suddenly the guilt was gone, replaced by white hot rage.

He backed out of the garage and headed for Search Bloc to find Trujillo. It was time for some justice, even if he had to dole it out himself.

***

They were sitting outside a random building they followed Limón to. It wasn’t until he left did they see Velasco was in there. He dialed Search Bloc’s number. “It’s Peña. Estoy aquí con Trujillo en la esquina de las calles 38 y 24. Necesitamos una copia de seguridad.”

“Lo siento, pero no hay autorización para despachar patrullas,” dispatch replied.

“Estamos viendo a uno de los muchachos de Escobar. Acaba de entrar al edificio,” he growled into the phone.

“Regrese a la base con la ubicación.”

He hung up the phone and mumbled to himself, “Cierto. Y aparecerás el próximo martes, Hijo de puta.”

There was no way just he and Trujillo could take on the entire building. They needed back up, but their back up was useless. Frustrated, he grabbed the phone again and dialed a number he knew he would regret. It wasn’t until Don Berna and The Castaño brothers were walking up to him did he feel the pit of his stomach drop. There was no going back from this, no matter how bad he wished he could just walk away.

**Your POV**

For the last three days, Javi had been in Medellín without so much as a call. You cried yourself to sleep every one of those nights worrying about him. You called Steve this morning, and he told you that Javi was fine; just busy with work. That didn’t make you worry any less. He was hurting, and you were afraid this pain was going to send him down a road he’d never come back from. With everyone gone, including Connie back to the States, you picked up more hours at work to pass the time. 

You were standing at the nurses’ station looking through a patient’s file when Dr. Rodriguez approached you. “¿Está todo bien?”

“Sí. Está todo bueno,” you replied, afraid to look up and meet his gaze.

He smiled at you. “No te creo. Parece que hace estado llorando.”

You bottom lip quivered, and a few tears fell on to the paper. “Estoy bien.”

He gently grabbed you by the arm and led you into an empty patient room. “¿Que pasa?”

You took several deep breaths before looking up into his eyes. They were filled with concern, which warmed your heart that he cared. “Mi novio. Estoy preocupada por él. Tiene un tiempo difícil con el trabajo y no le he visto en un rato.”

“Su novio, ¿es esto que hombre de la barra? Javi?”

You nodded. You watched him as he contemplated what to say next. “¿Quieres salir conmigo esta noche? Te ayudará a distraerte.”

You felt your heart race. You knew Dr. Rodriguez liked you, you’ve known since that night at the club. As much as you wanted a distraction, you knew he would be the wrong kind. He would push the boundaries as coworkers and friends. So you shook your head. “No. Quiero estar en casa, por si llama.”

“No puede esperarlo para siempre,” he said, annoyed at your rejection.

“Para él, esperaría para siempre,” you said, knitting your eyebrows together.

He shook his head and walked out of the room, saying, “Hace un error grande.”

You grabbed the phone off the wall and dialed the office in Medellín. It rang several times before someone answered. “Javier Peña, por favor,” you said.

The phone rang a few more times. “Peña,” his deep baritone came through the receiver.

“Javi,” you breathed. Hearing his voice immediately relaxed you. “Javi,” you started to cry.

“Hey,” he soothed, “what’s wrong, mi vida?”

You tried to stop the tears, but they kept coming. “I’ve been so worried about you, and I haven’t heard from you in days….and….”

“Shhh, hermosa. I am okay,” he said, “I’ve just been swamped here.” You heard another phone, his cellphone, ring in the background. “I’ve got to go.” He hung up.

Your heart broke. For the first time in months, he didn’t bother to say “I love you.” Tears flowed down your face, this pain was almost worse than when Michael betrayed you. You sighed and wiped your eyes. You still had to finish your shift, no matter how bad this hurt.

As usual, your shift passed slowly, but once you got home, you were able to sit and breathe. You looked at the phone, debated on calling him again. Despite what you wanted, you decided not calling was for the best. He wanted to be alone for a bit, and you were going to let him, no matter how much that pained you. 

**His POV**

It was late and he was sitting at his desk, staring into the bottom of his glass. Shit was hitting the fan, and he was in the middle of it all. To top everything off, Los Pepes emerged as a vigilante group - the very group he was working with. He cursed that call that interrupted them. It was dispatch telling him they found Velasco’s body. The longer he thought about that call, the more he regretted avoiding her. She deserved better than that. Better than him. The second he called Berna, he was no longer on the side of the good guys, and she deserved only the best. Now that he was allied with a narco, he knew this would only end one way. She was no longer safe down here. He sighed and looked at the clock. It was 11:30. She would be asleep, but he needed to hear her voice one last time.

The phone rang only twice before she answered. “Hello,” she said. He could tell she had been crying. 

“Mi vida,” his voice cracked.

“Javi? Is everything alright?” Her voice trembling.

His heart burst. She was hurting and all she cared about was him. “I’m fine.” He sighed. “I think you should go home.”

She gasped. “What? No.”

His voice was the one trembling now. “Please, for me.”

“Javi, I’m not leaving you.”

“Things are getting dangerous, and I just want to keep you out of harm’s way.”

“And what about you? Don’t I get a say?” Her voice grew louder.

“Don’t worry about me, Y/N. I’m going to get exactly what I deserve.” His heart was racing now. 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Javi?”

He ran his hand down his face. “It means exactly what it sounds like.”

The other end of the line was silent. He could have sworn she’d hung up if he didn’t hear the tiny muffled sobs coming from the other end. “Hermosa,” he whispered.

“Fine, I’ll go.”

His blood turned to ice. 

“On one condition. You tell me the truth. Why do you want me gone? And don’t give me that bullshit of ‘you think I’ll be happier with someone better than you’, because that won’t happen. There is _no_ _one_ better than you. So, dime la verdad.”

He wanted to smile at her, run to her and kiss her like it was their last. But the days of smiling had long passed when he killed his brothers. He might not have pulled the trigger, but he signed their warrant. He took several deep breaths. “Because I’ve made some very dangerous friends down here that scare me where you’re concerned.”

“Javi, what did you do?”

“Sold what was left of my soul. But I refuse to let them take my heart, which is why I need it to get home. Back to the states, where you’re safe from them.”

“Okay,” she agreed, though he could tell she was crying again. “But the minute something catastrophic happens, I’m on the first flight back. You’re not going to suffer alone. Not when you have someone who loves you as much as I do.”

He felt himself breathe again; relieved she was listening to him. “I will send someone from the embassy to pick you up. They will stay with you until you are on the plane.”

“Javi?” She said softly.

“Yes, mi vida.”

“Cuídate, mi amor.”

“Siempre, mi hermosa.” He paused, not wanting to hang up the phone. “Te quiero, Y/N. Te quiero más que a nada en el mundo.”

“Te quiero, Javi. Te quiero mucho.” She hung up the phone, while he kept the line open until he heard the dial tone again.

He wanted to change his mind, have her stay. But he knew that was selfish. She was going to be in the crosshairs the entire time, and he couldn’t risk that. He needed to keep her safe, even if it was at the expense of his suffering. Now he understood why Steve was more on edge than ever. He found his one, the fabled person he’s meant to be with, and now that he was sending her away, he felt like he was cutting off a limb. He felt alone.

Your POV

You woke up the next morning and called the hospital. You were working the night shift, but you told them that a family emergency took place and you needed to take a few days with your family. Your flight left at night, which gave you plenty of time to pack. You were only expecting to be gone for no more than a week. It broke your heart at the thought of leaving him here, but you knew it was the only way he would have a peace of mind.

It was about 9:00 AM when you heard a knock at your door. You wrapped your robe around you and answered the door. Much to your surprise, Javi was waiting on the other side. The second he saw you, his lips found yours. He closed the door behind him and lifted you in his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist. You didn’t care about talking right now. You were just happy to have him in your arms again.

He gently set you on the bed as you stripped free of your robe. His eyes lit up when he saw you were wearing his Fleetwood Mac concert T-shirt as pajamas, but there was no smile. Your heart broke, and for a second you worried that you would never see him smile again. But in that moment, you decided to make it your mission to bring the smile back. You knew today, your last day together for a while, was not going to be that day. But soon, you would see his beautiful smile again.

Slowly, Javi slid off his shirt from your body before undoing his own. He was wearing the blue button down you loved on him, but you loved it even better off. He leaned down to kiss you delicately, and then passionately. His lips and tongue tasted yours as you both let your hands explore your favorite parts. Yours quickly found his belt as you started to undo it. Without leaving your lips, he helped you, and as he stood a little to slide them off, you raised too, so you wouldn’t lose that connection. As you laid back down, his hands ran down your body at an excruciating slow pace; almost as if he was savoring every inch of you and committing it to memory. You arched your back and deepened your kiss as he massaged your breasts. His hands had never felt so good on your skin before. His touch was almost enough to send you over the edge. 

He rested his hands on your hips as he kissed your neck and jaw, your hands grabbing fists full of his hair. “Javi,” you said his name with a sigh.

“Mi amor,” he said, his warm breath causing goosebumps on your skin. “Mi vida.” He planted a kiss between your breasts. “Mi hermosa.” He kissed your stomach. “Mi perfecta.” 

Tears fell down your cheeks. You felt like this was less “I’ll miss you” and more “goodbye.” But instead of focusing on that, you focused on the man between your legs making the most passionate love to you. 

He kissed the insides of your thighs, your body already aching for him. You cried out when you felt his mouth where you wanted him. He groaned against you, the vibrations sending you even further into your ecstasy. He licked his fingers and gently placed them in you as his thumb rubbed your clit. He moved the rest of his body up to your face as he kissed you. He didn’t have to say it, but you knew he wanted you to look into his eyes when you came. His fingers moved methodically and slowly as you ground your hips into his palm. You grabbed his other arm with your hand, while the other gripped the sheets. “Come for me, hermosa,” he whispered as he looked down on you with all the love and desire in his eyes.

It only took a few more seconds, and your body clenched around him as you came. You continued to look into his eyes as you cried out his name. He kissed you deeply, taking his name off your lips. “I need you, Javi,” you said, breathless.

He kissed you again. “I need you, mi corazon.” His voice cracked. 

You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him to you. This time you kissed him deeper, opening your mouth to welcome him. His kiss was desperate, passionate, bittersweet. He slid into you with ease and you held him. “I never want to leave this moment,” you said, kissing his cheeks and then his eyes. You noticed they were wet, but you didn’t say anything. Because so were yours. He filled you completely, perfectly, and you never wanted him to leave.

He moved slowly, pulling back and then carefully thrusting in; trying to make this moment last a lifetime. You whimpered and bit your bottom lip as you looked into his eyes, eyes that you could get completely lost in. You grabbed his hair with one hand and the other ran down his back. You could feel every ripple and muscle in his body with every movement. He leaned down to kiss you, again, like he couldn’t get enough of your taste. He moved just a little faster, and she moaned into his kiss. “Oh, Javi,” you cried. 

He moaned your name back, almost like a prayer. ‘Te quiero, mi corazon,” he said.

More tears fell down your face. “Te quiero, el amor de mi vida.”

You met each of his thrusts with the grinding of your hips. His slow pace was wonderful and excruciating. Your body craved more, but you knew that meant he would be gone sooner. “J-javi,” you moaned.

He groaned as his name fell off your lips and you felt him move faster. He knew just what you needed to send you over the edge into your euphoria. He licked his thumb and placed it between the two of you to create the right amount of friction. You cried out and arched your back. Soon, you were coming, a wave of pleasure washing over you, burning your body inside and out. You cried out again as he continued. You looked in his eyes and saw he was trying to hold on as long as possible. After you came again, he gave in to his desire and followed you soon after, saying your name again. 

He collapsed on your chest, remaining inside of you. He kissed you again. “I wish you could stay,” he finally admitted, “but I refuse to keep you in danger. I can’t concentrate on my job until I know you’re safe.”

You kissed him lightly. “I’ll call you as soon as I land.”

He rolled over and pulled you against him. Kissing the top of your head. “I’m taking you to the airport tonight.”

As happy as you were that he was taking you, you asked, “Are you sure? What about the embassy?”

He ran his fingers up and down your arm, sending chills all over your body. “I’ve done enough for them. They can spare me for a day.”

You curled up next to him, listening to his breathing. It was ragged and slow. As much as you wanted to stay, you promised him you’d leave, you’d stay safe. You loved him enough to leave him. “When this is over, come home to me,” you said.

“Of course,” he replied, but you could tell in the tone of his voice he didn’t believe he’d survive this. Whatever or Whomever he “sold his soul” to was going to cash in on that deal before this was all said and done. You felt your heart ache. You wanted to take him with you, protect him from whatever was going to come his way. Something told you he believed this was it, but you refused to let him be right. You would get your Javi back if it was the last thing you did.

**Translations**

  * _Anoche hubo una emboscada que resultó en varias muertes de oficiales del Bloque de Búsqueda. Se desconoce si hay sobrevivientes. Entre los muertos está el coronel Carrillo. Muchos sospechan que Pablo Escobar estaba detrás del ataque. - Last night there was an ambush with resulted in several deaths of officers from Search Block. It is unknown if there are any survivors. Among the dead is Colonel Carrillo. Many suspect that Pablo Escobar was behind the attack._
  * _Estoy aquí con Trujillo en la esquina de las calles 38 y 24. Necesitamos una copia de seguridad. - I’m here with Trujillo at the corner_
  * _of 38th and 24th streets. We need back up._
  * _Lo siento, pero no hay autorización para despachar patrullas. - I’m sorry, but there’s no authorization to dispatch patrols._
  * _Estamos viendo a uno de los muchachos de Escobar. Acaba de entrar al edificio. - We’re watching one of Escobar’s guys. He just entered the building._
  * _Regrese a la base con la ubicación. - Return to base with the location._
  * _Cierto. Y aparecerás el próximo martes, Hijo de puta. - Sure. And you’ll show up next Tuesday, son of a bitch._
  * _¿Está todo bien? - Is everything okay?_
  * _Sí. Está todo bueno. - Yes, everything’s fine._
  * _No te creo. Parece que hace estado llorando. - I don’t believe you. You look like you’ve been crying._
  * _Estoy bien. - I’m fine._
  * _¿Que pasa? - What’s going on?_
  * _Mi novio. Estoy preocupada por él. Tiene un tiempo difícil con el trabajo y no le he visto en un rato. - My boyfriend. I’m worried about him. He’s having a hard time at work, and I haven’t seen him in a while._
  * _Su novio, ¿es esto que hombre de la barra? Javi? - Your boyfriend, is it that man from the bar? Javi?_
  * _¿Quieres salir conmigo esta noche? Te ayudará a distraerte. - Do you want to go out with me tonight? It will help distract you._
  * _No. Quiero estar en casa, por si llama. - No. I want to stay home, in case he calls._
  * _No puede esperarlo para siempre. - You can’t wait for him forever._
  * _Para él, esperaría para siempre. - For him, I would wait forever._
  * _Hace un error grande. - You’re making a big mistake._
  * _Dime la verdad. - Tell me the truth._
  * _Te quiero más que a nada en el mundo. - I love you more than anything in the world._
  * _El amor de mi vida. - The love of my life._




	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some concerns come up that cause you to question the current state of your relationship with Javi. Your patience is tested with Hannah and Michael. Javi is miserable without you there and starts to question what his intentions are with you.

**Your POV**

Kate told your mom she would pick you up from the airport. When you called her crying, she knew it wasn’t good, and the last thing you needed was your mother grilling you about Javi. You had a single suitcase in front of you while you waited for Kate to arrive. You held a framed picture that Javi put in your purse. It was his favorite one that the two of you took together. Steve took it when you all went out one evening after work for dinner and a few drinks. Javi was behind you with his arms around your waist and his face nuzzled into the base of your neck. You were laughing in this picture. The memory of that night flooded back to you. It was the same night you gave Javi a key and he told you he loved you. You saw two tears fall on the glass of the frame, and you used your, no _his_ shirt hem to wipe it away. He let you take the concert shirt you loved so much with you, since you all but claimed it anyway. 

You and Javi had spent days apart before, because that was part of his job. But not like this. Not when he was hurting so bad that he all but blocked you out, avoided you for three days, and then told you to leave the country. You wanted to be there to comfort him, but he wanted to keep you safe. He couldn’t save Carrillo, but he could save you. You took a deep breath and placed the picture back into your bag before leaning back in your seat. “Y/N!” You heard someone exclaim. 

You looked to the left and saw Kate running towards you. You stood up and hugged her, a small sob escaping your lips. She held you close and tight. “How was your flight?” She finally asked when she let you go.

You sighed. “Long.” You took another deep breath. “I don’t feel right being here.”

She grabbed your suitcase and gave you a sympathetic look. “You know,” she started, “I didn’t think you’d find someone after Michael.” 

“Me neither,” you mumbled as you climbed into her car. “And yet here I am.” You pulled out the picture again.

Kate smiled at you. “He’ll be okay. He loves you too much to let anything keep you apart.”

You looked over at your friend, and you wanted her to be right. You were afraid though. No matter how many times he said he loved you, over the last several days, you felt like he was hiding something from you. You were afraid of finding out what exactly that was, but it killed you not knowing. You worried that being away was only going to add more secrets between the two of you, and that he would travel too far down this road, losing your Javi forever. He hated himself enough as it was for all of his past sins. He didn’t believe that he was a good man, and you were afraid that he would soon give into this belief. All this uncertainty and worrying made you sick to your stomach.

“Pull over,” you said. 

“We’re on the freeway!” Kate exclaimed.

“Pull over, or I’m going to throw up in your car.” The threat caused her to pull over immediately as you threw open your door to empty the contents in your stomach on the side of the road. There wasn’t much, as you hadn’t eaten since you left Bogotá. “Thanks.” You said, wiping your mouth with a napkin she handed you.

“Are you okay?”

You nodded. “I’m fine.” You looked over at her. “Can I crash at your place tonight? It’s late, and I don’t want to wake my folks.”

“Of course. The spare room is already set up.”

***

You woke up late the following morning and just stared at the ceiling. Sending you away was a mistake, because now you were going to be glued to the news and constantly worrying about him. You crawled out of bed and shuffled into Kate’s kitchen to fix a cup of coffee. She was already sitting in the living room watching the news. “Who the fuck are these Los Pepes guys?” She asked between bites of cereal.

You shrugged and joined her on the couch. “Some vigilantes going after Pablo. They’re causing Steve and Javi so many problems, though. Steve was telling me these guys are always one step ahead of them and getting to Pablo’s guys first.”

She took another big bite. “At least they’re going after the bad guys and not our guys.”

“How’s Connie doing?” You asked. 

“She’s good. Misses Steve, but Olivia keeps her pretty occupied. I told her once you’re settled, we’d meet her for lunch at the usual.”

You feigned a smile. “I would like that. Just like old times.”

She laughed. “Except you both now have _way_ better men in your lives.”

This time, you actually smiled. You thought of Javi and his chocolate, brown eyes that looked at you with such love and adoration. Like you were perfect. Kate was right. You did have a man way better than Michael in your life. He was a better man and lover than Michael could ever hope to be. You pictured being with Javi again, his hands massaging your body and his lips gently, yet passionately, kissing yours. Kate gagged and brought you out of your day dream. “Can you not think about him like that, please? Or at least while I’m eating?”

You laughed at her. “Let’s go see my parents before we leave to meet Connie.”

You both dressed and left for your parents’ ranch just outside of town. Your mother must have heard Kate’s car, because she was waiting on the porch for you with arms spread wide. “Oh, I’m so happy you’re back!” She exclaimed. She looked around you and then back to you. “Where’s that new man of yours?” She added. “We were hoping you were bringing him home, too.”

Your heart sank. As much as you would love to introduce them to each other, it wasn’t going to happen in the near future. “He’s back home,” you said, “he couldn’t get away from work.”

“Psh. I hardly doubt his work couldn’t spare him for a few days.”

Kate laughed. “What’s so funny, Katherine?” Your mother gave her a stern look, one she was used to giving the two of you since you were young.

“He works for the DEA, Mama,” she replied.

Your mother’s eyes grew wide as she turned her glance back to you. “Is that right? Is he one of the ones working to bring that terrorist to justice?”

Suddenly you felt nothing but pride swelling in your chest as you answered your mother, “Yes. He’s been in Medellín for the last several days and was worried there might be some blow back. So, he wanted me in the States for a little while to make sure I was safe.”

Your mother swooned and looked at Kate. “Oh, he sounds too good to be true.”

Kate walked up closer and grinned. “He is. Perfect, let me tell you.”

She hugged you again. “Well, let’s hope he can treat you better than that asshole. I’m glad you’ve found yourself someone to take care of you.”

You smiled. As much as you missed him, you were happy to talk for hours about him to anyone who would listen. He was your Javi, and you wanted everyone to know how wonderful he was. “Thank you, Mama. When this is all over, I promise I will bring him here to meet you and Dad.”

You followed her back into the house and set your suitcase down. Nothing had changed. Not even the pictures on the walls. You saw your engagement photo was still hanging up. You grabbed it off the wall and took out of the frame, ripping it in two. Kate and your mother watched you as you reached in your purse and hung up the photo of you and Javi in its place. “It’s his favorite picture of us,” you said, “and I know he’d want it to replace that asshole.”

Your mother walked over and placed her arm around your shoulders. “I will keep it safe until I can meet him,” she replied, “it is a much better picture anyway.”

You sighed and looked at your mother. “Kate and I are going to meet Connie for lunch, but I should be back in time for dinner.”

“That’s fine,” she said, “your father and brother took the calves to market today, so they won’t be back until late.”

You set your suitcase down in your old room and kissed your mother goodbye. “I’ll be back later, Mama.”

Kate started the car and the pair of you headed back into town. There was a little “mom and pop” cafe that the three of you found when you were in high school, and you’d eaten there ever since. Connie snagged your usual table, it was a small table on their patio with an umbrella that was next to the fence. “I took the liberty of ordering us mimosas,” she said.

You held up your hand. “I think I need to pass for now. I haven’t eaten much since yesterday afternoon, and I ended up getting sick on the ride home,” she said.

“You feeling any better?” Connie asked as she took your mimosa.

You shrugged. “My stomach still feels a little weird, but I’m sure once I eat, I’ll be fine.”

“How long have you been feeling like this?”

You thought back on the last few days. “At least since Carrillo’s death, when Javi hadn’t come home.”

Kate sipped on her mimosa while Connie raised her eyebrows and nodded her head at you, knowing. You laughed. “I’m not pregnant.”

“Do you guys use condoms?” She asked.

“Yeah, of course,” you replied.

 _“Every time”_ , Connie added.

“Jesus,” Kate blurted, “talk about getting personal.”

You thought back to the last few times you and Javi were together. You hadn’t used one the day you left, but it would be way too early to tell if you were pregnant. Then, you thought back to that time a few weeks before Carrillo died. You two were so caught up in the moment that you couldn’t remember if he grabbed on or not. Fuck. You looked up at Connie with wide eyes. “I can’t remember if we did or not a couple of weeks ago,” you said, panicked. You started to feel hot and cold at the same time. Your period wasn’t due for another couple of days, but something told you Mother Nature would not be paying you a visit anytime soon. “What am I going to do if I am?” Your voice was now octaves higher.

“Relax,” Kate said, “you don’t know if you are. We will stop at the drugstore on the way back to your parents’ and get a test.”

Your breathing picked up as you started to worry about Javi’s reaction. The two of you never talked about kids or even where this was leading to. He never mentioned getting married, moving back to the states once this was over, anything. “You could just be sick,” Connie said, trying to comfort you, “don’t freak out until you’ve taken a test.”

You nodded and tried to calm your breathing. “Y/N?” You heard someone say as they approached your table.

You looked up and almost lost what little food you had left in your stomach. “Hannah?”

Kate and Connie both tensed up, but you seemed relaxed. “I was hoping one day I could run into you,” she said, “may I?” She indicated the empty seat next to Kate. 

“You may _not_ ,” Kate spat.

It was like Hannah understood she was no longer welcomed in her former group of friends. “I just wanted to apologize,” she said.

“You’re here for our sympathy, Hannah,” Kate said.

She glared at Kate. “I’m not here asking for _your_ forgiveness, Kate,” she said, “This is between me and Y/N.”

“No,” she added, “it’s not. You betrayed all of us when you did that.”

She nodded, understanding that her actions hurt more than just you. However, you reflected on your life since then, and how much you loved it. How much you loved Javi and if Michael never would have cheated on you, you never would have met him. You stuck out your hand to Hannah. “I forgive you,” you said.

Both Connie and Kate almost choked on their mimosas. “You what?” Connie said.

“I forgive her,” you said to them, “I wouldn’t have Javi if she and Michael wouldn’t haven’t ruined my life.”

Hannah looked at you wide-eyed. “I’m confused. I thought you would still hate me,” she said.

You laughed. “Oh, no, I still hate you, please do not mistake my forgiveness for esteem. You betrayed me, all of us, when you slept with Michael. I forgive you for what you did to me, but we will never be friends again.”

She looked at you. “You found someone?”

“Yeah,” Kate replied, “she did. But, he won’t be interested, Hannah. So fuck off.”

“Where did you meet?”

You smiled at her with a big fake grin. “Colombia. He’s a DEA Agent down there.”

Her eyes widened when you said that. “He’s Steve’s best friend,” Connie added, “and partner.”

“He’s straight out of a fairy tale,” Kate chided, “more perfect for her than words can describe. Michael isn’t even half the man Javi is. And, honestly, probably the most attractive man any of us have ever seen.”

You glared at Kate before laughing at her, because of course you agreed. Hannah tried to smile at you. “I’m happy for you, Y/N,” she added. 

“Thank you,” you replied.

The waitress came over with menus, but smiled when she saw the four of you. “The usual, then,” she smiled.

“Hannah was just leaving,” Connie said, “but the three of us will have the usual.”

She nodded and quickly ran off to the kitchen to deliver the order. Hannah held her bag close to her and hung her head as she left the cafe, leaving you in your new state of bliss and mild panic. Connie looked at you and smiled. “That was…” she paused, “something.”

You cracked a smile at her and drank some of your water. “I was serious. I do forgive her. Thanks to them, I found Javi. I’m happier than I could have ever been with Michael. Than I ever _was_ with Michael.”

Connie raised her glass to cheer you. Kate did the same, and then said, “Okay, but what are you going to do if you are pregnant?”

Connie looked at Kate annoyed. “Seriously? She hasn’t taken a test yet.”

“Honestly, I want to go get a test now so we can find out. The anticipation is killing me.” She hopped up out of her seat. “Any preference?”

“Wh-what?” You looked at her as if she’d lost her mind.

“I’m walking across the street to buy one. Well, probably a few. You can’t be too sure. I’ll get a couple of different brands.” She grabbed her purse and left through the restaurant before either of you could stop her. 

Fifteen minutes went by before she returned, handing you a paper bag. “I got three different kinds. Finish your water, and then…”she clapped her hands at you. 

“I’m not taking pregnancy tests at the cafe,” you whispered at her. 

“Oh, so you’re going to wait until your home with your mother in the house.”

Glaring at her you snatched the bag away. “Fine,” you said through your teeth.

“Just take all three.”

“I’m only doing one.”

You returned a few minutes later, with the completed test in your pocket. “Well?” Kate said.

“We have to wait about 5 minutes.”

Kate groaned and slumped back in her chair. She had never been patient in her life, but right now, you felt like you could relate. These five minutes would be the longest 5 minutes of your life.

***

You returned in time for dinner, just as you promised with all three tests shoved in your purse. Two of them were negative and one was positive. Connie still suggested you go to the doctor soon to get the official prognosis, since one of the tests was positive. You weren’t sure how to feel yet about the whole situation. Right now, you were more scared than anything. Because if you _were_ it would drastically change yours and Javi’s lives forever. If you _weren’t_ , then you and Javi needed to sit down and talk about the what ifs. 

As you sat at the table, you stared into your cup of water, lost in your thoughts. “Y/N,” Mama said. “Are you in there?” she tapped on your head.

“Sorry, Mama. It’s just been a rough few days.” You sighed and started eating the mashed potatoes on your plate.

“Missing your man?” she smiled as she took a bite.

You cracked a smile at her. “I guess you could say that,” you replied.

“So,” she prodded, “I’m guessing it’s pretty serious between the two of you.”

You shrugged. “We live together, if that’s what you mean.”

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. “I guess it is.” She took another bite. “Good. Your Dad and I were worried that Michael had really done a number on you.”

You looked up at her. “He did,” you said, “It took me a long time to actually trust Javi, honestly. But he was extremely patient.” A smile spread across your face as you thought back to that first night you went dancing with him. “And persistent. I now know he would _never_ do to me what Michael did.”

She smiled at you. “Where’s he from?”

“Laredo!” You were excited to share that he was a Texan just like the rest of you.

“Even better.”

The doorbell rang. “Are you expecting anyone, Mama?”

She looked at you with her eyebrows knit together. “No. It might be Cheryl from down the lane, though. I told her you were home.”

The doorbell rang again. “I’ll answer it for ya,” you said. You pulled the door open and froze in your tracks. Michael was standing there with a bouquet of wildflowers. “Uh, I’m going to step outside for just a bit, Mama.”

There was no response, so you quietly closed the door behind you. “What the fuck are you doing here?” you asked.

“Hannah called me this afternoon and said you were in town, alone.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you said, walking to the porch swing to sit.

He extended the flowers to you, which you grabbed and tossed on the table next to the swing. “What do you want from me?” you asked.

He took a deep breath and leaned against the porch railing. “What I’ve been wanting for the last two years. You are here without _him_ , that speaks tons.”

“Oh, really. And that would be…” you folded your arms and leaned back.

“You’re done with him. You’re done with your little escapade in Venezuela…”

“Colombia,” you corrected him.

“Colombia, whatever. And you’re ready to finally work out our problems.”

You laughed at him, hard. “You’re not serious, right?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Hannah said you forgave her, so I thought…”

“Oh, you thought I forgave you too. It’s hard to forgive you when you constantly still try to ruin my life. You can’t even let me go to enjoy my new life with Javi.”

“Because _that guy_ …”

“No. You say his name. If you’re going to talk about him, you _will_ say his name. He’s not just some guy. He’s el amor de mi vida. So, say - his- name,” you replied angrily.

Fury raged in Michael’s eyes as you labeled Javi as the love of your life - something you never bestowed upon him. “Because Javi is exactly that: just some guy. You have no history with him. You don’t have with him what we have.”

“No,” you said, “you’re right, Michael. Javi and I don’t have what you and I had. What we have is better. It’s real; it’s fiery; it’s fucking passionate.”

Michael rolled his eyes. “ _Passionate_? You’ve known the guy for a whole two minutes. Of course you think it’s better, you’re still in that honeymoon phase.”

“Fuck off,” you growled, “We’ve already been through more shit together because of his job than you and I ever experienced in the ten years we were together.”

“If things are going _so well_ with you, then where is he?”

You could feel heat rising in your face the longer you looked at Michael. “He is trying to keep me safe. He’s worried that something could happen to me down there, and he doesn’t want to lose me because of it.”

“What a load of shit. You know he’s probably down there getting his dick sucked by some local bitch down there,” he growled.

You wanted to jump out of your seat and pummel him into oblivion, but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of getting to you. “Contrary to what you might believe, Javier actually loves me. He’d never do anything to jeopardize our relationship. The day I left, he flew over night to get home just to spend the day with me, because he couldn’t stand the fact I was leaving. He’d rather suffer alone down there than put me in harm’s way.”

Michael shook his head. “He doesn’t know you, Y/N, not like I do.”

You sighed and rose from your seat, making your way back to the door. “Michael, we were over long before you cheated, and you know it. You cannot stand the fact that I was able to move on and you’re stuck here still being ostracized for being an asshole. I’m happy, happier than I have ever been. Javi and I love each other so much that sometimes it hurts. It hurts when we have to be apart; hurts when he’s suffering from his job and there’s nothing I can do about it. I never felt that way for you. We stayed together because it was all we knew. Go figure out who you are without me. It’s scary; trust me I know. I had to leave the country before I knew who I was. I’ve moved so far past us that I honestly don’t think I lived until I left everything behind. You need to do the same. Face it. I’m not coming back for you. I’ve found the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I plan on doing that. You need to go find yours.”

He looked at you, astonished. “How could you forget everything over the last ten years?”

You sighed and opened the door. “I removed all the pictures from my frames and decided to replace them with new ones.” 

**His POV**

She’d been gone for about five days now, and he’d been more miserable than ever. He’d been back in Bogotá for the last few days, working with the agency on “stopping” Los Pepes. He knew he couldn’t keep working with them, and that it would have to come to an end. However, he didn’t know how. 

Sleeping in their apartment was worse than anything he’d experienced, and he’d been shot several times. However, the sheets and pillows still smelled like her. Hell, the whole place did. That was the only thing that brought him comfort in the middle of the night when he’d wake up, panicked that she wasn’t safe. He’d have nightmares of the goddamn Castaños or even Escobar taking her, using her as a bargaining chip. Or worse. He could suffer through these lonely nights, if he knew that she was safe. He could just count down the days until he’d get to see her again. He just wanted to be done with this shit. He’d been doing it for too long and felt like he was losing a piece of himself everyday.

Steve walked into the office and saw Javi sitting at his desk. “Did hell freeze over?” he said, sitting down at the desk adjacent. “How the fuck did you beat me here?”

“Fuck you, Murphy,” Peña said over his cup of coffee, “I couldn’t sleep, so I came to work early.”

Steve nodded. “I know what you mean. You get so used to them being there, that…”

“It hurts when they’re gone.”

“Exactly.”

Javi sighed. “I don’t want to spend another night without her.”

“Have you told her?”

“What?”

Steve propped his feet up on his desk and laughed. “That you can’t imagine life without her. That you want to marry her.”

Javi coughed, his breath gone from his body. “Marry? Steve, I-”

He leaned in closer to Javi. “Oh, please. I know that look. It’s the same look I had before I asked Connie.”

“I doubt she’d ever want to go through that, anyway. Probably have panic attacks going through all the planning, reliving that asshole’s betrayal over and over again.”

Steve lit a cigarette and grabbed a stack of files. “It’s up to you, Javi, but she’s not going to wait forever.” 

**Your POV**

Connie and Kate accompanied you to the doctor’s office several days later. You’d been gone from Javi for about a week, but they’d managed to help keep you distracted. Or, really this whole pregnancy scare was enough to keep you distracted. After you took the tests Kate bought you, the three of you decided that you needed to go to the doctor to confirm or deny the results. 

Your heart raced as you sat on the thin paper sheet under you. Connie held your hand as Kate sat in the corner of the office next to you. A young doctor walked in the room and sat down near the ultrasound machine. “Well, Ms. Y/L/N, are you ready to find out if you’re pregnant?”

You nodded and laid back against the bed. She rubbed the cold jelly on your abdomen and started to run the ultrasound. You gripped Connie’s hand tighter. You were unsure exactly what answer you were hoping for from the doctor. You were worried about being pregnant, because you had no idea how Javi would react. He was great with kids, because of how he’d play with Olivia; you just didn’t know if he wanted his own. You didn’t want to scare him away. On the other hand, the idea of actually being pregnant with his child excited you. It was like you still had a part of Javi with you, even though he was so far away. “Oh!” the doctor said, point at the screen. “If you look there, there’s your baby!”

Your heart stopped as you looked closer to the screen. “Are-are you sure?”

The doctor smiled at you. “I’m certain. You’ve got a little one in there. It looks like you’re about six weeks along.” She looked at your friends and then back to you. “I’ll give you guys a little bit while I grab you some vitamins.” She quickly left the room.

Connie was the first to speak. “So,” she said, “how do you feel?”

You felt….calm. Which was surprising. You actually felt happy, and something told you Javi would be too. “I’m okay,” you said with a smile, “I’m happy that I’m…pregnant.”

Kate stood up and walked around to the other side of you. “How are you going to tell him?”

You took a deep breath. “I need to go back home. This isn’t something I can just tell him over the phone.”

Connie smiled and nodded, trying to contain her excitement. “Do you mind if I tell Steve?”

You looked at her with all seriousness. “You better swear him to secrecy. I want to tell Javi.”

“He won’t say anything. Trust me.” Connie hugged you. “I’m so happy for you.”

You looked at the small picture the doctor had handed you that was the ultrasound. Something deep down told you Javi was going to be over the moon when he learned you were carrying his child.

**His POV**

His heart raced as he read the report about the bomb in Medellín. It took out several buildings and countless people were killed. He was sick to his stomach, as this was the largest terrorist attack by Pablo yet. He was so thankful that she was far away from all of this. He was finished getting dressed and having his cup of coffee when he heard a knock on the apartment door. Javi guessed it was Steve, waiting for him to carpool to the plane. They would be in Medellín for the next several days. “Give me a second, Steve,” he said.

He washed the cup and dried it before putting it away. He’d done his best to make sure that the apartment stayed clean while she was away. He even took to dusting the undisturbed bookshelves in the living room. He ran back into the bedroom to grab his leather jacket and keys. Javi took one glance around the apartment, almost expecting to see her walk out of the bedroom in his Fleetwood Mac T-shirt to give him one last kiss goodbye before he left. He sighed at his sad reality and opened the door.

“Javi!” she exclaimed.

“Gabby?” He was beyond confused. “How did you get this address?”

She looked at him offended. “I miss you,” she smiled, playing with his collar.

Javi grabbed her wrists and held them down at her side. “No. Tengo una novia. Ella es el amor de mi vida. ¿Qué estás haciendo aquí?”

She sighed. “It’s Maritza. After you refused to get her out of the country, she ran. I’m worried about her Javi.”

He shrugged. “She’s not my problem anymore.”

“Please, Javi.”

“I need to get to work,” he replied, trying to move past her.

She pressed her body into his to stop him. “I can make it worth your while,” she said. Gabby wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

Javi heard someone gasp, and he instantly pushed Gabby off him. He looked down the staircase and saw her standing there with her suitcase in hand. “Shit,” he said, “Y/N.”

She didn’t say anything to him, but instead ran back down the stairs away from him.

“Gabby, move.”

“Was that her?” she smiled, holding Javi in his place.

He growled at her. “Yes, now move. I’m not about to let you fuck this up for me.”

Gabby wrapped her arms around him again. “I can help you forget her.”

He ripped her arms off him and ran after Y/N. He ran as fast as he could down the last several steps and stopped at the stoop. Her suitcase was on the ground, torn open, and she was gone. “Fuck,” he said, dropping to his knees. He saw some blood on the sidewalk next to her suitcase, and it was at that moment he knew she was gone.

**Translations**

  * El armor de mi vida - the love of my life
  * Tengo una novia. - I have a girlfriend.
  * Ella es el amor de mi vida. - She is the love of my life.
  * ¿Qué estás haciendo aquí? - What are you doing here?




	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone has taken Javi’s hermosa, and now he’s coming to get her. And he’s bringing hell with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Language, Mild Violence

**His POV**

He sat in a crumpled mess on the sidewalk looking at the suitcase that had been busted open. The blood that pooled around the suitcase had to have been her’s. He felt pain, misery, panic, and rage all at once. He wanted to scream and cry. She was gone, and the last image she had of him was Gabby’s arms around him as she kissed him. He balled his fists in his hair, hating himself even more for hurting her the same way Michael did; the same way Javi promised he’d _never_ do. He had no one. Steve was gone tracking Escobar’s family to God knows where. He had absolutely not one person he could call for help. He gathered her things, gently folding her clothing before carrying the broken suitcase up to their apartment.

Javi set it on the dining table before taking a seat next to it. He could call Berna, unless that’s who took her. He knew Los Pepes were getting nervous the last time, since he was not as forthcoming with information like he was before. He could notify the Embassy, but they’d release it to the press, and then the kidnappers could get spooked and do something unimaginable to her. He banged his fists on the table in rage. The best thing he could do right now was use whatever resources he could find, and bring her home. He would burn Colombia to the ground if he had to, just to make sure she was safe, and he was prepared to do exactly that.

He jumped out of his seat and ran to his Jeep. He was losing precious time, so he sped to the Embassy. His tires squealed as he skid into a parking spot. “Javi,” one of the secretaries said as he blew by them. “Javi, you have a message!”

He stopped. “From who?” He spun to face her, his rage causing him to shake and tremble.

“I think you should go talk to the Ambassador,” she said softly.

Without missing a beat, he turned on his heel, bursting into the Ambassador’s office where Messina was already waiting. “Agent Peña,” Crosby said, “please, have a seat.”

“With all due respect, Ambassador, I need this to be as brief as possible.”

Messina looked at her agent and sighed. “We received a call about 20 minutes ago from Escobar.”

His face turned ghost white. “What did he want?”

“He threatened us. He wants us to pull strings to get his family into Germany. Agent Murphy is there now trying to prevent that.”

Already knowing the answer to his next question, he decided to ask anyway, “What-uh-what leverage does he have? Or did he just call and ask nicely?”

“It seems that he has a Ms. Y/N Y/L/N in his ‘protective custody’ saying when his family is safe, he will return her to us. Apparently she is an American Nurse who was down here volunteering-”

“I know who she is,” he said all too fast. “She’s,” his voice cracked, “she’s my…” the fastest way to get her back was if she was DEA. They protect their own. She may not want anything to do with him once he got her back, but right now her safety was all he cared about. “She’s my wife.”

“Agent Peña, I thought you weren’t married.”

“Recently married, Messina.” He cleared his throat and tried to calm down.

Crosby sat back in his chair and watched Peña. “Well, there’s only one problem. His family is already on a charter back to Colombia. They booked their flight late last night and will be landing here tonight.”

Javi felt his heart race. Escobar was going to kill her, and he knew it. They went after Pablo’s family, so naturally he retaliated. This was _exactly_ why he wanted her in the states, instead of here. “Not to be crass, but how the fuck am I going to get her back?” he said through his teeth.

“We are working with Colonel Martinez to find her,” Crosby said.

“And we’re going to need you to stay here, Agent Peña,” Messina added.

His eyes immediately darted to hers. “No. Court Marshal me, send me home, but do all of that after I break that direct order. I’m going out there to find her.”

“You’re too close to this.”

“Damn right I’m too close to this, and I’m going to do whatever it takes to bring her back to me!” he exclaimed, “And if that motherfucker calls here again, I want to talk to him.”

Messina looked at Crosby for a cue. He was sitting silently, with no expression on his face as he waited for Javi to be done with his tirade. “Look, we don’t negotiate with terrorists. However, we aren’t going to abandon one of our own. Your wife is DEA. We are going to do everything in our power -”

“Please, Ambassador, cut the shit. I know this spiel. We give it to anyone who loses someone. I’m sure they gave this same talk to Mika Camarena when Kiki went missing. I’m going to go out there and find her, either on my own or with help. I’m not waiting for clearance or authorization. Her hours, no minutes are numbered.”

Messina stood up and approached Javi. “When Agent Murphy lands, we will send him in for backup. Whatever you need, let me know. You’ll have it.”

**Your POV**

You took a deep breath as you stood outside your apartment complex, nervous about seeing Javi and telling him the news: you were pregnant. You ran various scenarios through your head from best to worst case. You reached out for the doorknob and pushed the door open and slowly climbed the flight of stairs that led to your apartment. You were halfway up the second flight when you saw it. Javi was kissing someone. Her arms were draped over his shoulders and she held onto him like she knew him intimately. It felt like a hot knife was ripping through your body. Memories of Michael’s betrayal hit you. It was happening again and this time, you didn’t know if you’d survive it. The pain was almost too unbearable. You let out a loud gasp as tears welled in your eyes. He pushed her away. “Shit,” he said, eyes wide, “Y/N.”

You turned and bolted down the stairs. Maybe if you ran fast enough you’d catch a taxi before he got to you. Tears were blurring your vision by the time you made it outside. You thought of your child, realizing now they would never know the happiness their parents felt; he or she would be raised in a broken home. You heard tires squeal in front of you and two men run at you. You tried backing away, but your legs were already weak from grief. You dropped your suitcase and it burst open. The last thing you remembered was intense pain on the side of your head as you hit the ground.

***

You woke up a few times with a bag over your head. You were groggy and couldn’t really understand what they were saying as you drifted in and out of consciousness. Your head throbbed, obviously from the butt of a gun or something blunt that struck you. “El está loco,” You heard one of them say. “Primero esa bomba, ¿y ahora la novia de un agente de la DEA?”

“Era amigo de Carrillo. Ese hijo de puta vendrá por ella y traerá el infierno con él,” the other said. 

The first one laughed. “No mierda Acabamos de firmar nuestras propias órdenes de muerte, Blackie.”

That brought you out of your grogginess. If Blackie was in the car, then the other one had to be La Quica. Or at the very least one of Pablo’s men. Your heart sank. They were going to use you as a bargaining chip. Little did they know, Javi wouldn’t come for her. Michael was right. He only sent her away so he could hook up with local… _no_ , you thought to yourself, _there has to be a reason she was there. There was no way he would do that to me. He is going to come for me._ Months of living together and love making told you that he loved you too much to betray you. He would find you, even if it killed him. 

**His POV**

He walked into the usual seedy bar to meet Berna, but this time he didn’t feel dirty about it. He didn’t care if this move cost him his career; he was going to get her back. He pulled his chair out and lit a cigarette. “No tengo ninguna información para ti, pero necesito tu ayuda,” he said. 

Berna sat back and grinned. “¿Que vas a hacer por mi?”

Javi tried to hide his emotions, but his fear and anger were all over his face. “Te pagaré.”

“$50,000,” he replied.

“Trato.”

Berna shook his hand. “Escuché que Blackie y La Quica se la llevaron. Ella está en algún lugar de Bogotá.”

His heart raced. “¿Dónde?”

“Estoy…investigando.”

Javi growled and slammed the table. “En el segundo en que encuentres algo, llámame. Quiero estar ahí.”

He put out his cigarette and left the restaurant. Just as he stepped onto the sidewalk, the phone rang. “Javi,” Steve’s voice rang from the other end. “I just landed. Messina filled me in.”

“I’m on my way,” he said, hanging up the phone. Javi sat in his Jeep for a second, frustrated beyond belief. He spent the entire day looking for leads, clues, _anything_ , but he was coming up short. No one was talking. She was sitting, God knows where, waiting. He couldn’t get the look on her face out of his head. It was pure shock and hurt when she saw Gabby kissing him. He felt a tear roll down his cheek as he started the car. “I’m on my way,” he whispered to himself. 

***

Steve hopped in the Jeep and turned to Javi. “What the fuck, man?” he said, “I’ve only been gone for a day!”

Javi couldn’t turn to look at Steve. He knew if he did, he’d lose it. “I’ve got to find her,” his voice cracked.

“We will,” Steve reassured.

He tightened his grip on the steering wheel and sped down the street. “Where are we going?”

Javi didn’t answer, because he didn’t know. He just felt like if he was driving, he was doing something.

“Javi,” Steve sternly said, “Javi, pull over.”

He pulled off to the side and slammed the gear shift into park. “What!” Javi exclaimed.

Steve held his hands up in surrender. “Let’s go back to the apartment, and we will start there.”

“I already tried that,” he said, still looking at the steering wheel.

“Let’s try again. You had to have missed someone,” Steve said, “someone who was in the area.”

Javi froze. He did miss someone. Gabriela. Deep down, he knew she was part of it. She had to have been. Who else would be able to give her his address? “Fuck!” he screamed. 

“What is it?”

He finally turned and looked at his partner…friend. Tears ready to spill over at the edge of his eyelids. “Gabriela,” he croaked. Steve waited patiently for Javi to explain to him who she was. “She’s a prostitute.”

“Jesus, Javi,” he said, running his hand down his face. “What did you do?”

Javi recounted how Gabriela was the one who told him about Martiza, how she’s the reason Carrillo was set up, and how she showed up at his apartment door early this morning. His voice broke so many times when he tried to tell Steve about the last time he saw Y/N’s face, just before she bolted down the stairs. “She has to hate me,” he said, “which is why I have to get her back. I have to save her if it’s the last thing I do.”

“Well, let’s start with this Gabriela. Do you know where to find her?”

He put the car in drive. “I do.”

***

They pulled in and parked on the opposite side of the street from the brothel. Javi’s phone rang before they got out of the car. “Peña,” he answered.

“Javi! I just got your message,” Connie said at the other end.

“You called my _wife_?” Steve said.

“I had no one else to talk to!” Javi defended, “Steve’s back. We think we’ve found a lead. I can call you back after.”

“Wait, Javi,” she said, “hand the phone to Steve.”

He did so and left the Jeep. He needed some fresh air before heading to interrogate Gabriela. He ran his hand through his hair and leaned against the vehicle, about ready to lose the rest of his mind. Every second he did nothing weighed on him. She had limited time left.

“Steve,” Connie said over the phone, crying. “You have to find her, and soon.”

“I know, Connie. What do you think we’re doing?” he sighed.

“No, you don’t understand. Steve, you can’t tell Javi. Especially now.”

“Tell him what?”

Connie took a deep breath. “Y/N is pregnant.”

“She’s what!” he exclaimed.

“Look, we were all surprised, but that’s why she went back. She came down there to tell Javi. She wanted to do it in person and to surprise him.”

“Oh, Jesus. Fuck! I can’t keep that from him,” he said.

“You have to, Steve. What good is this information going to do him now? Nothing, except drive him more insane. You get my pregnant best friend back. Be careful. I love you.” She hung up the phone, and Steve slammed his head lightly against the headrest. He climbed out of the Jeep and walked around to where Javi was standing. He stared at him with nothing but sorrow in his eyes, knowing what Javi should know.

“What?” Javi said. “What did she say?”

“How about I handle this interrogation?” Steve suggested. 

His hands trembled as he wiped his face. “Okay.” 

They walked into the whorehouse, instantly surrounded by girls promising a good time. Javi cornered one he knew, Vanessa. “¿Gabriela está aquí?”

“Sí, Javi. Ella esta arriba.”

“Gracias,” he added. 

Steve followed Javi through the hallways and up the stairs to Gabriela’s room. He knocked first, but when there wasn’t an answer, he burst in. Steve held back for a minute. She was in the middle of a job. “¡Vete, cabrone!”

The man grabbed his clothes and ran out of the room. Gabriela smiled and made her way over to Javi. “I knew you wouldn’t stay away for long,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He grabbed her wrists, a little too hard. “Cut the shit, Gabby.”

“Javi…”

Steve stepped out of the shadows and grabbed her arm, forcing her to sit in the chair in her room. “Who gave you Javi’s address? No one knew he’d moved apartments.”

“I don’t…”

Javi stormed over to her, pressing her into the seat. “Who, Gabby!”

She started crying. “Lo siento, Javi. Lo siento mucho. Ellos iban a matarme.”

He felt a weight lift. He found his lead. His breathing began to shake as he sat down. “Where did they take her?” Steve asked, pressing the barrel of his gun to her chest.

“I-I don’t know.”

He cocked the gun. “You’re going to have to do better than that. They _were_ going to kill you, but I _will_.”

“Please, I can find out.”

Javi’s head jerked up and looked at her. “Call them. Now.”

“I can’t just do that.” She started crying harder. “They’re watching you.”

Both Javi and Steve froze. “They have been since Pablo escaped prison. That’s how they knew where to hit you where it hurt.”

“Call them.” Steve pressed harder with the gun. “ _Now_.”

She reached for the phone on the side table next to her. 

**Your POV**

You woke again, this time with duct tape and rope around your arms and legs. You were blindfolded and strapped to a chair with a terrible headache. You head feet shuffling as they neared you. “Ella tiene una herida en la cabeza desagradable,” the man’s voice said. 

“Limpiarla. Pablo quiere que enviemos un video a la embajada.,” La Quica’s voice said from across the room.

“Nosotros estamos jugando con fuego,” the voice said as he dabbed at her wound with a cloth.

You tried to move away, but he held your head in place. “Estas bien, señorita,” he said, trying to calm you.

You didn’t say anything, but instead let out a small sob. You felt another pair of hands on your face, lifting your chin up to expose your neck. “Tal vez podríamos divertirnos un poco con este después del video.”

“Por favor, no,” you begged.

“Sí. Quiero ver qué te hace tan especial para la DEA.”

“No, por favor. Estoy embarazada.”

La Quica laughed. “Limpiarla.”

**His POV**

Blackie. She was able to give them Blackie. She told them about Blackie’s girlfriend in Medellín. Javi and Steve walked into the Search Bloc offices to begin mapping out a plan of attack. Steve’s phone rang. “Murphy.”

“It’s Messina,” she said, “keep Peña away from the TV.”

“What happened?”

“She’s on the TV.”

Steve saw Trujillo and Peña talking, as they both rapidly walked into Martinez’s office. “You called about thirty seconds too late.”

Javi stood in shock as he watched the tape that was released this morning by the news. La Quica was laughing in the video, showing them her wounds she sustained. She cried the entire time, pleading for them to let her go. Her beautiful eyes swollen and red. One was bruised. In one final display of dominance, La Quica backhanded her to silence her. Blood dripped from her split cheek and swollen lips. Pablo’s usual reporter, Valeria Velez, was the one on TV with a screencap of his beautiful _hermosa_ in the upper left corner. “Escobar tiene un mensaje para los responsables de mantener a su familia en peligro: Mientras mi familia esté en peligro, la tuya también. Mantener a mi familia seguro, o te enviaré su cabeza en una caja.”

Enraged, Javi grabbed the whiskey glass in front of him and threw it at the TV, shattering the glass and screen completely. Martinez and Trujillo stood back, fearing they would be the next targets. Steve came in and grabbed Javi before he destroyed anything else. “I’m going to kill those motherfuckers,” he said, “every last one of them.”

“I know,” Steve said, “starting with Blackie. Let’s catch this asshole.”

***

They walked out of Blackie’s Girlfriend’s apartment complex, defeated. They were dead. Everyone inside. Javi was almost sure that Blackie fled. He wouldn’t be coming back here, and their lead was a dead end. He punched the side of his Jeep out of frustration. He was growing restless and angry. It’d been three days since she’d been taken, and he hadn’t slept at all. How could he? She was out there, somewhere being tortured. He couldn’t afford to sleep. Steve approached him. “It looks like the work of Los Pepes.”

Javi cursed. Of course. He hadn’t given them that information, which means someone else was. “We have to find Blackie. Get him to talk.” He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“When was the last time you slept?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’ll drive,” Steve said, taking the keys from him. “Sleep, at least while I drive us back.”

“I can’t sleep. Not until she’s safe.”

**Your POV**

“Patrón, Los Pepes se están expandiendo. Los Galones están trabajando con ellos ahora. No podemos enfrentarnos a un enemigo tan grande,” you heard La Quica say into the phone. “Sí, sí. Ella está viva. ¿Dónde? Medellín. Sí, Patrón. Gracias. Hasta luego.”

Based on the one-sided conversation you heard, you put together that you were being moved to Medellín. You felt your heart drop. You wanted to scream and cry for Javi, but you knew that would result in Quica beating you. You had no idea how long you’d been trapped here, but you were grateful they hadn’t done anything to you to hurt your child. The worst La Quica did was slap you.

You were no longer worried about yourself, but instead your baby and Javi. You knew this had to be killing Javi. He sent you away for this reason. Tears ran down your cheeks as you silently cried. You should have just called him, but instead you were selfish and wanted to celebrate with him in person. Now, he was out there somewhere looking for you, risking his life to bring you home. 

**His POV**

They pulled into the Embassy lot as were instantly met by Messina. “We overheard some chatter,” she said.

Javi felt his heart race. “Who?”

“Quica and Escobar. They’re moving ‘precious cargo’ to Medellín tonight. We are stationing teams at the airfields. And setting up blockades at various intersections,” she added, “she won’t leave the city.”

“Messina, a word?” Steve asked.

She nodded and walked away with Steve so they were out of Javi’s earshot. “She’s pregnant.”

Messina crossed her arms. “I’ll communicate that with team leaders to make sure she walks away unharmed and stays out of the crossfire.”

Javi had already walked inside, only to be approached by Stechner, who hopped on the elevator with him. “You’re the last person I want to talk to right now,” he said, “can’t you take the stairs?”

“Remember my warning, Peña? You’re starting to make our new friends nervous. Why didn’t you tell them about Blackie?”

He turned to look at him, annoyed. “They found his family, didn’t they?”

“No thanks to you.”

Javi could feel his muscles tense up. He was already on edge and in desperate need to take his frustrations out on something. Instead, he tried to calm himself. “They go in after her, guns blazing, she could get hurt. Or worse.”

“This is bigger than your _girlfriend problems_.”

He grabbed him by the shirt collar and slammed him into the elevator wall. “Not for me. I will burn this fucking place to the ground to find her, and if you try to stop me, I’ll take you down with me.”

The elevator door opened and he released him. He walked to his desk. He held the picture of her he kept there, running his fingers over the glass. “Javi,” Steve said behind him, out of breath, “we got him. We fucking got him.”

He set the picture down and turned to him. “Who? Where is he?”

“Blackie.”

***

Javi and Steve were granted access to the interrogation room where they had Blackie. He was sitting there, scared. His hands were tied around his back as he sat in a metal chair looking between the two of them with wide eyes. “Ustedes no me pueden hacer una mierda,” Blackie said, ”De Greiff nos ofreció amnistía.”

“Cierto,” Javi said, leaning back on the table, “Pero tienes que hablar para conseguirlo.”

Blackie smiled. “¿Quieres negociar, gringo? Te voy a dar algo. Algo pequeño.”

Javi leaned forward, bringing his face closer to Blackie’s. “Encontraron residuos explosivos en tus manos. En tu chaqueta, en todas _partes_. Te culparán por esa bomba.”

His eyes grew wider, realizing he had no bargaining chips left. “No tuve nada que ver con eso.”

Javi rested his gun on his leg. “Lo sabemos. Sabemos que no fue idea tuya. Sabemos que no eres el jefe. No dejes que te culpen por esto. No dejes que te vean como el que mató a todos esos niños inocentes.” 

Steve folded his arms and said, “Ayúdanos y te _ayudaremos_. Danos a Pablo.”

Blackie shook his head. “No puedo darte Pablo.”

Javi fired a round into Blackie’s leg, and he screamed out in pain. “¡El siguiente es para tu cabeza! ¿Dónde la están reteniendo? ¡Habla, cabrone!”

Crying through the pain, he exclaimed, “¡Yo hablaré! ¡Yo hablaré!” He pushed his gun onto Blackie’s forehead, hard, leaving an imprint in his skin. “La Quica la tiene en una casa segura en Medellín. Sabían que estabas escuchando sus conversaciones, así que la trasladaron anoche.”

Javi grabbed him by the shirt collar and shook him. “¿Dónde in Medellín?”

“Pablo está declarando la guerra a Judy Moncada. Quiere que La Quica junte tanto dinero como pueda. Probablemente esté en movimiento con él.”

Javi looked at Steve. “We need to get to Medellín. Now.” He turned back to Blackie and cocked his gun. 

“Eso es todo lo que sé. Lo prometo.”

Javi put his gun back on safety and returned it to his back, tucking it safely into his belt. He looked down at the floor and saw blood pooling around Blackie’s leg. He felt nothing for the man. “¿La llevaste?”

Blackie breathed through the pain and looked up at Javier. “No tuve elección.”

He used his elbow to send a blow to Blackie’s head, knocking him out cold. Javi stormed out of the room. “Peña,” Steve said, running after him.

Javi didn’t stop.

“Dammit, Javi, wait!”

“I don’t have time to wait. Catch up,” he said over his shoulder.

Steve jogged through the corridor and caught up to him. “We gotta tell Messina. They’re sending their resources to the wrong area.”

“Fine. Go tell her. I’m heading to Medellín now.” 

He let out a loud sigh and followed his partner. “I’ll call her from the road.”

***

Javi and Steve walked into the Medellín office and headed straight for Martinez. “I just got off the phone with Messina,” he said, “I’m letting you take the lead on this, Agent Peña. What do you need?”

He looked around the room at the map of Medellín on the table. “We are setting up blockades. That fucker isn’t getting out of this city. I want reinforcements here,” he pointed at 10th street, “and here,” he pointed at 32nd street. “Intel suggests these are where his largest stashes are held. If La Quica is gathering money, he’ll go to these.”

Martinez motioned to the map. “We will block intersections so he can only go certain routes out of there. He’ll drive right into our trap.”

His heart was beating so fast, he was sure that the whole room could hear him. “Do not shoot at the car,” he said, “she might,” Javi’s voice cracked, “she might be with him in the car.”

Martinez looked at him. “I cannot make promises, Peña. If he starts firing at my men, they’ve been instructed to take him out.”

“Well, instruct them to take the fight _away_ from the car,” Javi growled, “she’s not going to die in the crossfire.”

Steve slapped Javi on the back. “We’ll get her out of there. She’s going home in one piece.”

Javi sighed. He tried to look at the bright side: they were closer to her than they had been over the last few days. However, he had this sinking feeling in his stomach that his fight to get her home was far from over.

**Your POV**

You’d been moved so many times over the last several hours that your sense of direction was completely thrown off, not to mention they’d blindfolded you again. This time, though, you’d been thrown into the trunk of the car, and you could hear muffled arguing coming from the cab. You felt the car jerk forward as you tried to wiggle your hands free of the zip ties they used to tie your hands together behind your back. You knew that if you could punch through the tail light, you’d be able to signal for help. You couldn’t even get your feet loose, as they were duct taped together. You did your best to remain calm as you struggled against your restraints, but you suddenly stopped when you heard the car go silent as their phone rang. “Aló. Meirda. ¿Quién es la mierda?” You heard Quica say, “Hijo de puta. ¿Quien es este?”

Your heart raced. _Please be Javi_ , you thought to yourself. You wanted to scream so whoever was on the phone could hear you, but you feared for your life. You knew if you drew any attention to yourself, he’d kill you for certain. 

Quica slammed on the brakes, and you heard them get out. There was gunfire, and so you panicked. You started tugging on your restraints more, only causing your wrists to become raw. You felt the car move as he piled back into the car and hit the gas. You slid forward, narrowly missing another head injury. You heard the phone ring again, and Quica yell something. He took a sharp right turn, and you slid into the side of the trunk, hard. Suddenly everything went black.

**His POV**

Javi leaned against Trujillo’s Jeep with a phone in his hand. “Now?” Steve nodded. “They’re ready.” He dialed the number he had for La Quica. It rang twice before there was an answer. “Aló.”

“Quica,” Javi said, containing his rage.

“Aló. Meirda. ¿Quién es la mierda?” He could hear his voice begin to panic.

“Hola, Quica ¿Cómo te va, amigo?” he calmly replied.

“Hijo de puta. ¿Quien es este?” Quica yelled into the receiver.

Javi took a breath before saying, “Cálmate, Quica. No te pongas nervioso. ¿Que pasa, Quica?”

“¿Quién la mierda crees que eres, perra?” Quica replied as he hung up the phone.

Javi looked over to Trujillo. “It wasn’t long enough. Call him again.” They were trying to track his cell signal to find his car from the sky.

He took a deep breath and redialed the number. “Aló,” Quica said into the phone, clearly agitated.

“Quica,” Javi said, “¿Que pasa, Quica?” Quica didn’t answer him. Javi could hear his breathing pick up. “Quica, Quica, Quica,” he added, drawing out Quica’s name to keep him on the phone longer. “¿Qué hora es, Quica? ¿Qué estás haciendo, Quica?”

There was still no answer. “Quica…”

“Bastardo,” Quica said before hanging up.

Javi glanced at Trujillo. “We got him,” he said.

Without missing a beat, Javi and Steve hopped in their Jeep. “Go right,” Javi said. Steve jerked the wheel right. “Perez, cerca de toda la 4ta calle,” he ordered over the radio. “Go straight.”

Steve obediently followed Javi’s directions. “We need to go this way to cut him off.”

A car flew by in front of them. “There! Follow him!” Steve turned right again and gassed the car. Javi could feel his heart racing. He couldn’t see anyone in the backseat of this car, but if they could get La Quica, he was one step closer to bringing her home. “Follow him!” he exclaimed again.

Trujillo came over the radio, “Todas las unidades, prepárate para la obra.”

Javi felt a few tears well in his eyes. He needed to keep a clear head, in case she wasn’t there. He was so close to finding her, and he couldn’t hold in the apprehension any more. “To the right!”

Search Bloc’s team cut off Quica, who slammed on the brakes. He took off running down the street. Javi and Steve did the same and chased after him, guns drawn. Javi fired a few times in the air, causing La Quica to hunker down and stumble a bit, but he kept running. Javi then aimed and hit him in the leg, causing him to go down and drag himself to the end of a ravine, where Search Bloc was waiting for him. Steve beat Javi to La Quica, and punched him several times. Javi pulled him off before landing a few himself. “Peña!” Trujillo exclaimed over the radio, “you better get your ass back up here.”

His heart raced to the point he thought it was going to burst out of his chest. He looked at Steve. “Don’t get your hopes up, Javi,” he said, trying to keep him level headed.

Javi knew he was right. She might not even be up there, but he ran like she was anyway. He ran as fast as he could, ready to scoop her into his arms and never let her go. He ran uphill to the cars that were blocking traffic, and immediately his heart dropped when he saw a group of Search Bloc gathered around the opened trunk. “Trujillo,” he roared.

Trujillo moved everyone out of the way as Javi ran up to the sight. His legs collapsed from under him when he saw her tied, blindfolded, and bleeding in the back of the car. She wasn’t moving, and if she was breathing, it was so faint, he couldn’t see it. He rested his head on the bumper and let out a small whimper. Steve calmly walked up behind him and rested a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at his partner before standing. Javi placed his hands under her shoulders and legs, lifting her out of the trunk, and into his lap as he sat on the curb, holding her against him. Finally, he was able to breath again.

**Translations**

  * _El está loco. Primero esa bomba, ¿y ahora la novia de un agente de la DEA? - He’s crazy. First the bomb, and now a DEA agent’s girl?_
  * _Era amigo de Carrillo. Ese hijo de puta vendrá por ella y traerá el infierno con él. - He was friends with Carrillo. That motherfucker is going to come for her and bring hell with him._
  * _No mierda Acabamos de firmar nuestras propias órdenes de muerte, Blackie. - No shit. We just signed our own death warrants, Blackie._
  * _No tengo ninguna información para ti, pero necesito tu ayuda. - I don’t have information, but I need your help._
  * _¿Que vas a hacer por mi? - What are you going to do for me?_
  * _Te pagaré. - I’ll pay you._
  * _Trato. - Deal._
  * _Escuché que Blackie y La Quica se la llevaron. Ella está en algún lugar de Bogotá. - I heard that Blackie and La Quica took her. She is somewhere in Bogota._
  * _¿Dónde? - Where?_
  * _Estoy…investigando. - I am investigating._
  * _En el segundo en que encuentres algo, llámame. Quiero estar ahí. - The second you find something, call me. I want to be there._
  * _¿Gabriela está aquí? - Is Gabriela here?_
  * _Sí, Javi. Ella esta arriba. - Yes, Javi. She’s upstairs._
  * _Gracias. - Thank you._
  * _¡Vete, cabrone! - Get out asshole!_
  * _Lo siento, Javi. Lo siento mucho. Ellos iban a matarme. - I’m sorry, Javi. I’m so sorry. They were going to kill me._
  * _Ella tiene una herida en la cabeza desagradable. - She has a terrible head injury._
  * _Limpiarla. Pablo quiere que enviemos un video a la embajada. - Clean her up. Pablo wants us to send a video to the embassy._
  * _Nosotros estamos jugando con fuego. - We are playing with fire._
  * _Estas bien, señorita. - Everything’s fine, ma’am._
  * _Tal vez podríamos divertirnos un poco con este después del video. - Perhaps we could have a little fun with this one after the video._
  * _Sí. Quiero ver qué te hace tan especial para la DEA. - Yes. I want to see what makes you so special to the DEA._
  * _Estoy embarazada. - I’m pregnant._
  * _Escobar tiene un mensaje para los responsables de mantener a su familia en peligro: Mientras mi familia esté en peligro, la tuya también. Mantener a mi familia seguro, o te enviaré su cabeza en una caja. - Escobar has a message for those responsible for keeping his family in danger: While my family is in danger, so is yours. Keep my family safe, or I will send you her head in a box._
  * _Patrón, Los Pepes se están expandiendo. Los Galones están trabajando con ellos ahora. No podemos enfrentarnos a un enemigo tan grande. Sí, sí. Ella está viva. ¿Dónde? Medellín. Sí, Patrón. Gracias. Hasta luego. - Los Pepes are expanding. The Gallons are working with them now. We cannot take on an enemy this large. Yes, yes she is alive. Where? Medellín. Yes, boss. Thanks. See you later._
  * _Ustedes no me pueden hacer una mierda. De Greiff nos ofreció amnistía. - You guys can’t do shit to me. De Greiff offered us amnesty._
  * _Cierto. Pero tienes que hablar para conseguirlo. - That’s right. But you have to talk to get it._
  * _¿Quieres negociar, gringo? Te voy a dar algo. Algo pequeño. - You want to negotiate, gringo? I’ll give you something. Something small._
  * _Encontraron residuos explosivos en tus manos. En tu chaqueta, en todas partes. Te culparán por esa bomba. - They found explosive residue on your hands. On your jacket, everywhere. They’re going to blame you for that bomb._
  * _No tuve nada que ver con eso. - I had nothing to do with that._
  * _Lo sabemos. Sabemos que no fue idea tuya. Sabemos que no eres el jefe. No dejes que te culpen por esto. No dejes que te vean como el que mató a todos esos niños inocentes. - We know that. We know it wasn’t your idea. We know you’re not the boss. Don’t let them blame you for this. Don’t let them see you as the one who killed all those innocent children._
  * _Ayúdanos y te ayudaremos. Danos a Pablo. - Help us help you. Give us Pablo._
  * _No puedo darte Pablo. - I can’t give you Pablo._
  * _¡El siguiente es para tu cabeza! ¿Dónde la están reteniendo? ¡Habla, cabrone! - The next one is for your head. Where are they keeping her? Talk, Cabrone!_
  * _“¡Yo hablaré! ¡Yo hablaré! La Quica la tiene en una casa segura en Medellín. Sabían que estabas escuchando sus conversaciones, así que la trasladaron anoche. - I’ll talk. I’ll talk. La Quica has her in a safe house in Medellín. They knew you were listening to their conversations, so they moved her last night._
  * _¿Dónde in Medellín? - Where in Medellín?_
  * _Pablo está declarando la guerra a Judy Moncada. Quiere que La Quica junte tanto dinero como pueda. Probablemente esté en movimiento con él. - Pablo is declaring war on Judy Moncada. He wants La Quica to gather as much money as he can. She’s probably on the move with him._
  * _Eso es todo lo que sé. Lo prometo. - That’s all I know. I swear!_
  * _¿La llevaste? - Did you take her?_
  * _No tuve elección. - I had no choice._
  * _Aló. Meirda. ¿Quién es la mierda? - Hello? Shit. Who the fuck is this?_
  * _Hola, Quica ¿Cómo te va, amigo? - Hello, Quica. How’s it going, friend?_
  * _Hijo de puta. ¿Quien es este? - Motherfucker. Who is this?_
  * _Cálmate, Quica. No te pongas nervioso. ¿Que pasa, Quica? - Calm down, Quica. You don’t need to be nervous. What’s up, Quica?_
  * _¿Quién la mierda crees que eres, perra? - Who the fuck do you think you are, bitch?_
  * _¿Que pasa, Quica? ¿Qué hora es, Quica? ¿Qué estás haciendo, Quica? - What’s up, Quica? What time is it, Quica? What are you doing, Quica?_
  * _Bastardo. - Bastard_




	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You sustained injuries while being held hostage. Javi realizes he doesn’t know what will become of him if he loses you.

**His POV  
**

He wiped the hair off her face. She was still warm and had color to her skin, but her breathing was so faint, he almost didn’t notice it. He held her close to his body as he looked up at Steve, who was already on the radio. “This is Agent Murphy, requesting medical aid. We need an Air Vac out. We are located on 4th. Patient: American Female who has sustained a severe head injury.”

“Ambulance is on its way,” dispatch said, “Air Vac waiting. Stand-by.”

Steve knelt close to him and undid her restraints. “She’s going to be okay. We’re going to take her to Bogotá.”

All Javi could do was nod and look down at his hermosa, stroking her soft cheek, and praying to every god in existence that she would wake up. “Don’t leave me, hermosa,” he whispered into her hair, kissing her forehead. His lips quivered as the rest of his body shook. “Please, wake up.”

Steve rested a hand on Javi’s shoulder, because that’s all he could think of doing. They could hear the ambulance off in the distance. “Javi,” he said, “the ambulance is here.”

Javi didn’t move as he continued to smooth her hair. “I can’t lose her, Steve,” his voice breaking, “I need her to wake up.”

“She will, but the paramedics need to put her in the ambulance.”

Paramedics arrived and approached Javi with a stretcher. “Necesitamos moverla.”

He stood up, with her in his arms, setting her on it. Her hand dangled from her body, and he held it, walking all the way with them to the ambulance. He kissed the inside of her palm. “Te quiero, mi corazon.”

Steve walked over and hugged Javi as the ambulance pulled away. “They have a helicopter waiting for us at the airfield. We can’t ride with her.”

Javi nodded and didn’t say anything as he walked to the Jeep. Steve jumped in the driver’s seat and drove as fast as he could to the airport. They rode in silence as Javi chewed on his nails. Both were startled when Steve’s phone rang. “Murphy,” he said.

“Steve, we just landed,” Connie said, “Kate and I are going to head to the apartment.”

He sighed into the phone. “Head to the hospital,” he solemnly said. 

Steve heard her gasp. “Steve…”

“She has a head injury. That’s all I know. Get there, and maybe you can be one of her nurses.”

“Do you want us to bring anything?” she said, her voice shaking.

Javi reached for the phone, and Steve gladly handed it over to him. “Get the Fleetwood Mac T-shirt in her suitcase and a pair of my sweatpants. They’re her favorite. She’ll want to wear those on the ride home,” he said, trembling.

“Of course, Javi. Anything else?”

He took a deep breath. “The black box off the dresser.”

“We’ll meet you there. We love you, Javi,” her voice gave it away that she was crying.

“The spare key is above the door,” he replied, before hanging up.

He wanted to kill La Quica for what he did to her, but he knew now, Messina wasn’t going to let him get close to that son of a bitch. “Tell me she’s going to make it. Tell me she’s going to be alright,” he softly said to Steve.

“She’s going to pull through. Y/N is too tough not to. You know, of all people, how stubborn she is.”

He huffed and nodded his head. Stubborn was the perfect way to describe her. Along with beautiful, loving, passionate, and perfect. He leaned forward and balled his fists in his hair, letting out several small sobs. The image of her lifeless in the car was stuck in the forefront of his mind. He felt Steve place a hand on his back, trying to console him or at least let him know he wasn’t alone. Javi wouldn’t tell him, but he appreciated the sentiment. The last thing he wanted to be was alone right now. 

They made it to the airfield in good time, but according to the radio tower, they were scheduled to take off after her medical evac. Javi breathed a sigh of relief, a hundred percent okay with her beating them to the hospital. Steve called Messina and the Ambassador to update them on the status of the mission. Both agreed to cover any medical costs that she would acquire, and to pay for her family to join her at the hospital. Javi wasn’t in a state to talk to them, so Steve deferred all requests to be sent to his wife, Connie. 

Everything was a blur to Javi. The flight home, the drive to the hospital. Time didn’t catch up to him until Kate ran to Javi and hugged him. “Connie is with her in surgery, right now.”

His heart stopped and he turned pale white. “S-s-surgery?”

“Javier Peña,” he heard a familiar voice say behind him. When he turned around, he saw the young doctor from the club that couldn’t keep his fucking hands off her.

“Yeah,” he said, puffing out his chest a little.

“Soy su médico de cabecera,” he said, “Nos conocimos el año pasado. Soy el Dr. Rodriguez”

“Se quien eres.”

“If you are more comfortable in English, we can converse this way,” he said in a very thick Colombian accent.

Javi nodded. He felt Kate wrap an arm around him and lean into him while Steve rested his hand on his shoulder. “How is she?”

Rodriguez sighed. “She came to us with a Basal Skull Fracture, and she is in surgery right now to take care of the leaking cerebrospinal fluid. She also has a severe concussion from the blow to the top and right of her head, but we are optimistic she will make a full recovery. Her left eye is severely bruised, but will recover just fine. She will have stitches in her cheek from a cut she received, but all in all, she’s going to be okay.”

Javi let out a long sigh and felt his heart start to slow down. “When can I see her?” he asked.

“She should be out of surgery in a few hours. They’re going to keep her as sedated as we can, so she won’t be awake when you see her, but we will let you know.”

“What do you mean as sedated as you can?” Javi asked.

Rodriguez looked through the file in his hand, again, before saying. “Well, according to the blood work, she’s pregnant. About six, seven weeks along.”

And just like that, all of the air left his body again. “Pr-pregnant?”

“Dr. Rodriguez, te necesitan en cuidados intensivos,” a short nurse said to him.

“Disculpe,” he said, following after the nurse.

Javi looked down at Kate. “Is she really?”

Kate led him back to the waiting room chairs, with Steve closely behind. “It’s why she came back,” she said with several tears in her eyes, “she wanted to tell you in person.”

He leaned forward, holding his head in his hands, crying. Javi leaned back in his seat and looked straight up, trying to peer right into the face of God, praying his child was okay. “This is all my fault,” he said.

Steve leaned his shoulder against him. “There’s no way you could have known,” he said.

“Did you know?”

Steve sighed. “Connie made me swear not to tell you.”

“Oh, fuck that,” Javi said, “how could you not tell me?”

Kate butted in, trying to save Steve. “Because we didn’t want to steal that moment from her,” she said, “she wanted to see the look on your face when you found out that you were going to be a father.”

Those words hit Javi in the middle of his chest. A _father_. Suddenly, his view on the world was completely different. He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths, before walking out of the waiting room. He found the hospital gift shop on the main level and walked in. Javi saw a beautiful arrangement of red roses and white orchids. He didn’t pay attention to how much it cost, because she deserved any and everything. Then, he sat down on the bench just outside the hospital entrance, and let out a sob. He cried for her: she was going to be okay. He cried for his unborn child, because he never knew what he wanted until Kate told him that he was going to be a father. He cried, because for some reason God, or whoever was up there, believed he deserved all of this: a woman that loved him who would bear him a child. Out of all his sins, he was good enough to have the most perfect example of a woman wake up every morning next to him. He felt his heart swell like he’d never felt. He never knew he was capable of loving someone so much until he had her in his life. 

Javi must have been sitting outside for a long time, because Connie finally came for him. “Javi,” she said softly. 

He turned to look at her. She hugged him tight, and she felt him shudder under her arms. “She did great in surgery, and the babies are even better.”

“Babies?” He stepped back from her and stared at her. “Babies as in _plural_?”

Connie smiled. “As in twins.”

The corners of his mouth twitched, and Connie could have sworn he wanted to smile. “Can I see her?”

Connie nodded. “She’s getting settled in her room now,” she said, “but, Javi, I need to warn you. She looks like she’s in worse shape than what she is. She has an IV in her, and she’s running on oxygen. We were able to take her off the ventilator.” She wrapped her arm through Javi’s and led her to Y/N room. “I brought you an extra change of clothes, a toothbrush, and some extra toiletries in case you needed them, too. Since, I figured you’d be here as long as she was. We will actually be able to discharge her in two days. Doctor says she’ll be well enough that she can heal on her own. She does have a follow up next week. But we are just prescribing her Tylenol and a lot of rest.”

He took a deep, shaky breath as they got closer to her room. “Are you ready?” she asked. He nodded. “Oh, and Javi? She’s going to love the little black box you bought her.”

His heart picked up even more. Slowly, he opened the door to her room and stopped in the doorway. She was peacefully asleep, with a single bandage around her head to hold the cotton in place at the base of her neck. Her face was swollen and bruised, but she was still far more beautiful than anyone he’d ever seen. He walked over to her, running his hand gently over the top of her head. A few more tears escaped as he tried to smile. “Hermosa,” he whispered, “I’m not going anywhere.”

The heart rate machine sped up just a hair, and he believed that was her way of telling him that she heard him. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “They’ll have to kill me before I ever leave you,” he added. Connie took the flowers from him and set them in a vase on her bedside table before closing the door behind her.

Javi grabbed a small recliner from the corner of the room and moved it to her side. He held her hand in his, resting his forehead on her leg. He then looked up at her stomach under the sheets and rested his other hand there. “Hey, in there,” he said, awkwardly, “It’s me. Your…daddy.” The phrase felt weird coming from him, but it brought another twitch to the corners of his mouth. “I’m going to take such good care of you and mommy. No one will ever hurt you again.”

He felt more tears escape. Though he was relieved he had her back, the fear and panic from the last several days finally washed over him. He held her hand to his lips, running his thumb over her knuckles. “No sé lo que haría sin ti, mi corazón,” he breathed, “Voy a pasar el resto de mi vida haciendo las paces contigo.”

Javi leaned forward and placed a very chaste kiss on her lips before settling down in his chair. His exhaustion was finally catching up to him as he drifted off to sleep. 

***

He was startled awake by the loud beeping from the machines and nurses running into the room. His heart started to race as they started pressing buttons. “Ella tiene fiebre alta,” one nurse said.

“Baño de hielo,” another replied.

Another checked her vitals and added, “Llama al Dr. Rodriguez.”

They moved her onto a stretcher and started to wheel her out of the room. Javi followed and ran out into the hallway. Steve instantly approached him. “What’s going on?”

Javi shook his head. “Her monitors started going off and they rushed in. One of them said she was running a fever.”

“Dr. Rodriguez,” they said over the intercom, “Te necesitan en cuidados intensivos.”

Javi looked at Steve, panic written all over his face. “Where’s Connie?”

“She’s probably with her. I’m sure she’ll be out here soon.”

He sat down in the chair next to the door in the hallway. “Fuck,” he said, resting his head in his hands. He could feel the sweat rolling down his back and neck as he thought of the worst case scenarios. Javi had never been a big optimist, and in this moment he hated that about himself. He needed that optimism, that false sense of hope that she was going to be okay. She was going to pull through. 

He felt a pair of small hands rub his back as he turned and looked to his left. Connie was knelt next to him with a new look of concern in her eyes. “She’s stable,” she said, “she’s in the ice bath now. Her fever spiked, so they’re going to run some tests and make sure there’s no swelling. Her heart rate dropped, though, on their way to the ice baths, so they moved her to ICU for closer monitoring. You can see her when they get her comfortable, but you can’t stay with her.”

She saw Javi’s shoulder tense up. “They can’t keep me away from her.”

Connie sighed and smiled at Steve. “I knew you’d say that. When I filled out her paperwork to admit her, I listed you as her spouse.”

“He did the same with the Embassy,” Steve mumbled.

Javi looked over at her. “Does that mean I can stay with her?”

She nodded. “You can come and go as you please. They’ve hooked her up to more monitors, though and have her on a stronger IV drip. If she does fine through the night, they’ll move her back down here. I called her parents after she got settled. They’ll be here tomorrow morning.”

“I’ll pick them up from the airport with Kate,” Steve said.

Connie smiled at her husband. “Javi,” she said, rubbing his back again, “I’m going to go check on her. If anything changes, you’ll be the first to know. Everyone is taking great care of her. She’s in good hands.”

All he could do was nod at her and rest his head in his hands. She slowly stood up and walked back towards the ICU. Steve sat down in the empty seat next to him and laughed. “You know, not in a million years would I have guessed we’d be here,” he said.

“Yeah? And what does that mean?”

“Well, for starters, watching my best friend and my wife’s best friend fall in love.”

Javi looked up at him. “I thought I was too much trouble for her.”

Steve slapped his back and smiled at him. “I think you were just enough for her. However, she might be too much for _you_.”

Javi wanted to laugh, but he couldn’t enjoy happiness while her life hung in the balance. 

“I also never thought I’d see you this head over heels for a single woman,” he added, leaning forward. 

He let out a loud sigh and leaned back against the chair. “She’s my whole world, Steve. And now, our children…” His voice cracked. “I can’t lose them.”

“Connie is going to take good care of them. Before you know it, she’ll be awake and cursing herself for staying with your ugly mug.”

Javi shook his head and reached for the duffle back on the inside of the door. He pulled out the little black box and handed it to Steve. “What’s this?”

“I took your advice,” he mumbled, waiting for Steve to open it.

He lifted the lid off the box and revealed a small, navy blue velvet box that housed a simple gold band with a round cut diamond in the center, surrounded by several smaller diamonds. “She left some jewelry in the apartment, so I grabbed one of her rings and went to a jewelry store downtown,” he said, “I was going to ask her when she inevitably came back, because I knew she wouldn’t stay away for long.” He paused and looked at the ring in Steve’s hand. “That is, if she still wants to be with me.”

Steve smiled and handed the box back to Javi. “Javi,” he sighed, “I’ve known her for years. Well, at least since her and Connie were in med school. Which means I’ve only known her with Michael and then briefly without. The entire time I saw them together, never once did she light up the way she does around you. She will say ‘yes’.”

Javi let out a shaky breath. “I need to get the chance to ask her, first.” He looked down the hall where they took her. 

“You will.”

He turned back to Steve and eyed him, raising an eyebrow at him. “Best friend?”

Steve laughed. “Fuck off, Peña.”

“Well, you know what that means if she says ‘yes’, right?”

“You sure you want one of my famous speeches?”

Javi shook his head. “You’d make a piss poor best man, anyway.”

Steve shoved him. “Fuck off, Peña. No one else would be better than me.”

He glanced back at Steve, the corners of his mouth twitching, aching to form a smile. “Who says I want a fucking hillbilly standing next to me?”

Steve slapped him on the shoulder and leaned back in his chair laughing. He looked past Javi and saw his wife approaching them with a smile on her face. “Jav,” he nudged him to look.

“So, her fever broke,” she said, “and her heart rate has returned to normal. Doc gave us the all clear to just keep her in this room.”

Javi let out a deep breath. “Thank you, Connie. For everything.”

She smiled at him. “I’m not about to lose my best friend to a drug war. She’ll be back in this room after they finish a few tests. Steve, take him to get something to eat.”

***

Javi followed him to the cafeteria and stared at his sandwich that Steve bought him. “Man, you have to eat something,” Steve said.

He nodded. “I know.”

Steve’s phone rang. “Murphy,” he answered.

“It’s Messina.” Javi looked up from his sandwich. “Hand the phone to Peña.”

Javi shook his head. “He’s talking with the doctor right now. I’ll pass the message along.”

Messina sighed. “Judy Moncada has now become an Informant for the CIA.” Javi rubbed his hands down his face, trying to contain his anger. “She’s been placed on a plane and will be heading to Miami tomorrow to leak who was working with Los Pepes.”

Javi banged his fist on the table. “What does this mean?” Steve asked.

“Peña told me the truth two days ago, and I tried to fix it. They’re sending him home. They want him out of Colombia by the end of the week.”

“Messina, no. Out of everyone, Javi deserves to be there when we bring that motherfucker down.”

“I tried everything I could. They’re sending him home.” She hung up the phone.

Steve looked at Javi with a sympathetic gaze. “I’m sorry, man.”

“I knew it couldn’t last forever,” he sighed, “just put a bullet in that fucker for me.”

“Are you okay?” Steve asked, concerned at his lack of reaction to the news.

Javi looked at his partner. “This was going to end one of two ways. With me dead or fired. I’m okay with the latter.” His mouth twitched again. “That just means I can spend my time focused on her.”

***

Javi took his place back in the recliner next to her bed. He grabbed her hand and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. “We’re going home, hermosa,” he whispered, “I just need you to wake up.” His voice broke and he felt a few tears roll down his cheeks.

He leaned forward and kissed her hand, resting his head on her bed. The steady beeping of the machines, her heart beat, slowly lulled him back to sleep. 

**Your POV**

You slowly opened your eyes and noticed you were in a dark room surrounded by machines that were attached to you. You turned your head to the left and saw bright, white lights coming through the slits in the blinds on your windows. Suddenly you were hit with an excruciating headache that made you want to throw up. You felt something soft in your right hand, and you turned to look. Your heart was ready to burst as tears flowed down your cheeks. You saw Javi asleep in a recliner, holding your hand like it was his lifeline. You used your other hand to reach for the nurse’s button. Luckily, Connie walked in, quietly opening the door. She smiled at you and squeezed your other hand.

Your throat was extremely dry and raw. So, you nodded at Javi, and it was like she read your mind. She quickly returned with a pillow and blanket for him. She gently lifted his head and placed the pillow under him before tucking him in. She grabbed his hand out of yours and placed it in his lap, which caused him to open his eyes. “Connie?” he said, still half asleep, “what are you doing?”

She smiled at him. “Someone wanted you to be comfortable while you slept,” indicating you.

His gaze went immediately to your half opened eyes, and you smiled at him. You reached both of your arms out for him, to which he gladly stood and moved closer to you. He rested his forehead on yours, smoothing your hair as you ran your fingers through his. “I never thought I’d see your beautiful eyes again,” he whispered in his gentle, baritone voice.

You couldn’t say anything. All you could do was cry. He wiped your tears away and softly kissed your lips. You saw Connie step out of the room to give you more privacy. “I’m so sorry,” you cried, “I shouldn’t have come back.”

“No,” he said, “don’t ever apologize to me. You’re perfect.” He kissed you again. “I know why you came back.”

You suddenly became worried about your child. Your hand reaching for your stomach, resting over the little one growing in there. “Is it-”

“They’re _both_ fine,” he said smiling. 

There it was. Your favorite smile was back. “Both?”

He nodded and kissed you. Dr. Rodriguez came in and slowly turned the lights on. “I see you are awake,” he said. “How are you feeling?”

Javi stood next to you, holding your hand. “I have a really bad headache,” you replied.

He walked closer to you, shining a light into your eyes. Then, he gently placed his hand behind your head and touched the bandage. “You gave us a scare yesterday,” he said, “I thought we were going to have to sedate your husband.” He laughed.

Your eyes shot to Javi’s and he smiled at you again. “Yes,” you slowly said, “my _husband_ can tend to act before he thinks.”

Rodriguez stepped away. “I’ll send Connie in to change your bandages. You have several other guests waiting to see you.”

“Thank you, Antonio,” you said.

“Of course, Y/N,” he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

You turned your attention back to Javi and gave him a curious stare. “ _Husband_?”

He gave you his usual devilish grin. “It’s the only way I could stay here with you.”

Connie walked in with a set of fresh bandages. “I’ll change these, and then your parents want to see you,” she said as she changed them.

“Uh, Connie?” Javi said, “Can you give us just a few minutes before sending everyone in?”

She winked at him. “Just let me know when you’re ready,” she added before closing the door.

“As soon as you’re out of here, I can change it. I can only imagine what you think since…”

“Javi,” you said, squeezing his hand. “Just answer me one question. Who is she?”

You saw a few tears roll down his cheek as he reflected on the last time you saw each other. That awful woman with her arms around his neck. He took a deep, shaky breath. “Her name is Gabriela. She was one of my old informants.”

You dropped his hand, but he instantly reached for it again. “Please, just listen. She came by my apartment to ‘distract’ me while they took you. I tried forcing her away, and that’s when she threw herself at me. I swear. I don’t want anyone that isn’t you. I love you more than anything I could ever imagine, and the entire time you were missing I lost it. I couldn’t eat, sleep. Hell, I couldn’t even breath until I found you. And when,” he paused and tried to gather himself before continuing. “When I found you in that car, unconscious, I just knew my life was over.”

You felt more tears escape your eyes as you watched him walk to the end of the bed and dig through a duffle bag. “This isn’t what I had hoped,” he said, “but I can’t wait any longer.” You smiled at him as he looked like he was about to throw up. “I’ve thought about this for a long time, and when you left Colombia, I realized I was miserable without you. I knew that when I saw you again, I needed to keep you with me always.” He took another shaky breath as he got down on one knee. “Te quiero más que a nada en el mundo. Eres el amor de mi vida. ¿Te casarías conmigo, mi hermosa?”

You beckoned him to stand as you pulled him closer to you. “Por supuesto, Javi. No quiero pasar mi vida con nadie más.” He kissed you deeper, but still gently as he slid the ring onto your finger.

**His POV**

He beckoned Connie to send in her parents as he resumed his position by her side, holding her hand and occasionally kissing it. He needed to constantly reassure himself that this was real. She was here, alive, and wearing his ring. Slowly, the door opened and a beautiful woman that resembled an older version of his hermosa stepped in, followed by a tall, strong man. The woman smiled and walked directly to her side, kissing her forehead. His heart raced, as he realized he was meeting her parents for the first time under less than ideal circumstances. “Hey, there,” your mother said, stroking her hair, “how are you feeling?”

She smiled. His heart beat so fast when he saw her smile again. He would give anything in the world to see that smile every day for the rest of his life. To see her eyes light up and hear her most angelic laughter. His mind floated off to the time he carried her up the stairs to her room and she smiled while he held her in his arms. She smiled when he whispered to her good night, and she called him _her_ _Javi_ for the first time. He knew the first time she spoke to him that she had him wrapped around her finger, but that night was the night he knew that he loved her more than anything in the world. That night he knew that there was no turning back for him, because his heart had never been so full before this moment.

He was brought out of his day dream when she tugged on his hand. “Mama, Daddy, I want you both to meet the most important person to me. This is Javi.”

Mama came running around the other side of the bed with tears in her eyes as she wrapped her arms around him. He felt the air rush out of his body as he relished a motherly embrace for the first time in a long time. “I’ve heard nothing but good things about you,” she said, “it’s about time I finally meet you.”

He laughed. “I’m so happy to finally meet you, Ma’am.”

She slapped his shoulder. “Oh, please. It’s Mama.”

“Mama,” he replied. He stuck his hand out to your father’s and shook it with a firm handshake. “Nice to meet you, sir.”

Her father grinned at him and squeezed his hand a little harder. “Sir will do just fine.”

***

She was released from the hospital two days later, and Javi carried her everywhere. To the car, up the stairs, to their bed. She wanted for nothing. Her parents stayed at a nice hotel near the airport until they were ready to move back to Texas. The Embassy dropped off several boxes for the pair of them to pack their things and ship them back to the U.S. They gave Javi two more days to be gone before they were going to escort him to the airport. 

Everyone had come over to help pack their things, since Javi refused to let her lift a finger. “Javi, I love you, but you’re just going to throw everything in the boxes. I’ve seen how you fold laundry,” she said.

He smiled at her and kissed her lips. “Connie and Kate, along with your mother, are coming over to pack all the breakables. Steve, your dad, and I will take care of everything else.”

She shook her head. “Can I at least sit on the couch so I can talk to everyone?”

He sat next to her on the bed and rested his hand on her leg. “The second you get a headache, I’m carrying you back in here.”

She pulled him closer to him. “Deal,” she breathed against his lips before pushing him away. 

Javi laughed at her and leaned back down. “You can’t do that,” he smiled before kissing her. Her hands trailed down his body. “Careful,” he said.

“Oh right,” she let go and pointed at her head. “I have a head injury.” There was a knock at the door. “You better get that.”

He kissed her again before walking out of the bedroom. He opened the door to welcome everyone to their home one last time. He saw her stumbling out of the bedroom wearing his blue button down and sweatpants. Javi watched her like a hawk as she made her way to the couch. He brought her Tylenol and water to take before handing her some orange juice. He kissed her hand before walking to Steve and her father ready to dismantle furniture to box up. 

Occasionally, he would peer over his shoulder to her to make sure she was okay. She was leaning against the couch, laughing and talking with everyone. He smiled a little at the sight and let out a small sigh. “Peña, get your head out of your ass,” Steve said, “and help me flip this table over. Why did you have to buy such a heavy one?”

Javi shrugged. “She liked it.”

Her father grinned and nodded, understanding why Javi bought the world’s heaviest table. “You couldn’t have persuaded her to get a lighter one?” Steve complained.

“I think she wanted to watch me struggle pulling this up the stairs,” Javi replied. 

Her father laughed this time. “Sounds just like her mother.”

He looked at his future father-in-law and smiled. “She certainly likes to keep me on my toes, that’s for sure.” He stopped what he was doing and walked to her father. “Sir, I know I asked her without asking you first, but I’d like to have your blessing.”

He looked over to his daughter and back to Javier and grinned. “You were able to do what I thought no one was capable of,” he began, “and I’ve never seen her happier. I know you’ll take good care of my little girl. Welcome to the family, Son.”

Javi held out his hand. “Thank you, sir.”

Her father wrapped him in a hug. “Call me Pop.”

**Your POV**

You glanced behind you and saw your father hugging Javi, and that made you light up at the sight. You took in a deep breath and relaxed against the sofa and smiled. Your mother noticed how peaceful you were, despite everything that had just happened. “So,” she said, putting your picture frames into boxes, “Have the two of you talked about the wedding?”

Your mind instantly jumped back to almost three years ago when Michael had first asked you to marry him. When your mother asked you that then, you panicked. Now, you felt at peace. Happy. “We don’t want a big wedding,” you said, “but we do want a rather large reception. We’ve also decided to wait until after the twins get here. He doesn’t want me to stress about the wedding until after I’ve given birth.”

Your mother grinned. “So, you’re shipping everything to Laredo?”

You nodded. “His father owns a ranch down there with a large guest house. Javi said, if he’s quitting the DEA, he should help Chucho run the ranch.”

She sighed. “At least you’re back in Texas.”

You leaned your head back against the couch and closed your eyes until you felt a hand touch your shoulder. “I found this,” Connie said, handing you an album. It was your engagement photos.

You frowned and took them from her. As you flipped through the book, you looked at the empty eyes you had and your feigned smile in these pictures. You had a feeling then that he was cheating, but you weren’t certain. And honestly, your life turned out better for it. You stood up and walked to the trash can where you shoved the whole album into it. “If you find any other pictures with Michael, pitch them,” you said, taking your seat back on the couch.

You glanced over at Javi and smiled at him, giving him a little wink. He smiled back and returned the sentiment. Several hours went by before your kitchen and living room were completely packed. Javi decided to leave packing the bedroom to the two of you, well mainly him while you watched. You rubbed the bridge of your nose and leaned forward. Within seconds, Javi was next to you picking you up in his arms. “I told you the second you got a headache, you were going to bed,” he said, “tell everyone good night.”

You smiled at him. “Eres tan terco.”

“Solo para ti, mi amor,” he whispered as he carried you off to bed.

You heard your mother loudly whisper to Kate, “You weren’t kidding. Fucking Prince Charming.”

**His POV**

They’d been living in Chucho’s guest house for roughly a week, and honestly, Javi couldn’t have been happier. Escobar was finally brought to justice, and he could sleep peacefully knowing there was one less dirtbag in the world. He had woken up early in the morning, watching the sunlight dance across her skin, making her glow even more. He’d never seen anything more beautiful as he caressed her hair, moving it out of her face. Her eyes fluttered open. She smiled at him and kissed him deeply. He moaned into her kiss and pulled her against him. “Are you sure you’re up for this?” he asked.

She laughed. “Doc said I had five to ten days before the headaches stopped. I haven’t had one in two days. Yes, I’m ready for this. I’ve gone long enough without it.”

He raised his eyebrows at her and smiled. “In that case, I’m going to enjoy a little…” he cleared his throat, “breakfast first.” He trailed kisses down her neck, as he slowly slid her pajama shirt off. 

“So, now I’m breakfast?” she laughed.

He continued his way down, pausing to kiss her stomach before making his way to her thighs. “Hermosa, you’re my favorite meal,” he said, inhaling her scent that was so intoxicating to him. 

His phone rang. He growled and sat up. “Who the fuck is calling at this hour? I swear to God if it’s Murphy, I will kill him.”

“Please don’t. You’re not going to want to find another best man.”

He rolled over and grabbed the phone. “What the fuck, Murphy? I’m a little busy at the moment.”

“Agent Peña,” a strange voice said at the other end of the line.

His blood went cold and he sat up straight. “Yes?”

“You need to report to Washington for a review of your case.”

“DEA?”

“DOJ,” they replied, “you’ll be expected tomorrow at 0-900.”

**Translations**

  * _Necesitamos moverla. - We need to move her._
  * _Soy su médico de cabecera. - I am her attending physician._
  * _Nos conocimos el año pasado. Soy el Dr. Rodriguez. - We met last year. I’m Dr. Rodriguez._
  * _Se quien eres. - I know who you are._
  * _Dr. Rodriguez, te necesitan en cuidados intensivos. - Dr. Rodriguez, you’re needed in intensive care._
  * _Disculpe. - Excuse me._
  * _No sé lo que haría sin ti, mi corazón. - I don’t know what I would do without you._
  * _Voy a pasar el resto de mi vida haciendo las paces contigo. - I am going to spend the rest of my life making this up to you._
  * _Ella tiene fiebre alta. - She has a high fever._
  * _Baño de hielo. - Ice bath_
  * _Llama al Dr. Rodriguez. - Call Dr. Rodriguez._
  * _Te quiero más que a nada en el mundo. Eres el amor de mi vida. ¿Te casarías conmigo, mi hermosa? - I love you more than anything. You are the love of my life. Will you marry me, mi hermosa?_
  * _Por supuesto, Javi. No quiero pasar mi vida con nadie más. - Of course, Javi. I don’t want to spend my life with anyone else._
  * _Eres tan terco. - You’re so stubborn._
  * _Solo para ti, mi amor. - Just for you, my love._




	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life after Pablo finds you and Javi in bliss. Javi adjusts to his new title of fatherhood. You and Javi talk about the future of your family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Language, Smut, Soft!Javi

**Your POV  
**

“What do you mean you have to leave?” you asked, sitting up.

He smiled at you as the sheet you wrapped around your front barely left anything to his imagination. “They want to review my case, which means talk about my involvement with Los Pepes.”

“Which means they could send you to jail, Javi,” you said.

Javi shook his head. “They would have come after me sooner if that was the case. As soon as I get there, I’ll get ahold of my lawyer.” He smiled and tried to pull the sheet off you.

“Seriously, Javier?”

He laughed at you and nodded. “If I’m not worried, you shouldn’t be. Now, I’m not going to leave for the airport for a few hours. So, let’s finish what we started.”

You smiled at him and wrapped your arms around his neck. “I knew you’d be trouble when I first met you.”

“Por siempre y para siempre, hermosa.”

He deepened his kiss, gently pulling the sheet down. His hands danced across your skin, sending chills throughout your body. You smiled and laughed into his kiss as you ran your hands through his hair, giving him a slight tug. He growled and moved his lips down your neck and jaw, stopping at your already tender breasts. You let out a sigh, as his warm mouth was a welcomed surprise. He nibbled at one before moving to the other, his fingers already finding their way to where you ached most. He followed them soon after, kissing the inner parts of your thighs. He gently placed your legs over his shoulders as he laid down in front of you, his palms resting on your lower abdomen enough that his thumbs massaged you - running in slow methodical circles as Javi enjoyed the rest of you with his mouth.

As soon as his tongue came into contact with your body, you let out a loud moan. God, his tongue could do magical things to you. No, _that_ man could do wonders. Your hand traveled down to grab his hair while the other had a death grip on the sheets. You felt him growl against you, sending a wave of pleasure through your veins. “You taste so fucking good, hermosa.” 

He felt your legs start to shake and close around him. You were close. Your breathing became more labored as you moaned his name, begging him for more. He moved his hand so he could use his fingers while his mouth moved to your clit. He rubbed the inside of you in those same, slow circles while he curled his fingers, running them down your walls. You lifted your hips and cried out as you arched your back. You cried his name, each syllable falling off your tongue like a sweet plea.

He finally came up for air, your orgasm glistening on his face; the sexiest and most arousing thing you’d ever seen. Javi wiped his face and cleaned his fingers off before returning to your mouth. He stopped moving for a moment and looked down at you. “What’s wrong?” you said, placing hands on either side of his face. 

He let out a long breath and smiled at you. “Nothing. I just can’t believe that this is real. That you chose me.”

You felt your heart ache for Javi. He knew exactly how to tug at your heartstrings, and he wasn’t even aware of it. “And knowing everything we’d gone through to get here,” you kissed him, “I’d choose you a thousand times over again, mi amor.”

He smiled at you and kissed you deeply as you felt him slide into you as far as he could go. He was the only man who could ever take your breath away and make you feel so alive at the same time. You gasped into his kiss as you felt him fill you completely and you both held onto each other for a moment. “Never leave me again,” he said.

You laughed. “You’re the one who sent me back here.”

He kissed you again. “I was a fool.”

“Javi,” you said, running your hands down his face. “I believe you said it best: ‘They’ll have to kill me before I leave you’. And you should realize, I’m too stubborn to die.”

He grinned at you. Since you woke up in the hospital, you’d never seen him smile so much. And you wanted to keep him smiling forever. “Never stop this,” he said.

“What?”

“Loving me this way,” Javi whispered. 

You wrapped your legs around him to pull him deeper into you. He groaned, but never broke his eye contact with you. “I will love you this way for the rest of my life.” 

He slowly pulled back before thrusting back in at the same, excruciatingly slow pace. You let out another moan and whimper. He’d never felt so good before, and you never wanted this to end. When you moved to Colombia, you weren’t looking for love. You were looking for a way to find yourself. Find who you were without Michael. Little did you know you’d find yourself Javi. Javi, the man who brought out the real you. The “you” that loved taking risks. That woman, you discovered, loved jumping in feet first, knowing fully well that she could catch herself, but was hoping someone else would be there to catch her. And you couldn’t imagine that someone being anyone other than Javier Peña. He showed you a life of love and happiness that was beyond anything you’d ever experienced or believed to exist outside of stories. “Te quiero, mi Javi.”

He kissed you even deeper as he moved. Your hands moved to his back as your hips moved into him, your body beseeching him for more. “Te quiero, mi hermosa,” he said, “Eres más de lo que podría soñar y todo lo que siempre quiero.”

You felt a few tears stream down your cheeks, and you saw one glisten his. You grabbed his hair as he craned his face into your neck. His velvety skin moving against yours was almost enough to send you over the edge again, thanks to your heightened nerves. “Javi,” you breathed. You felt his muscles tense as you said his name, running your hands all over his body. “More.” You said. His slow pace was torture.

He looked into your eyes and moved just a little faster. You felt yourself getting lost in his eyes, his touch, his scent, his movements. You could feel your body start to quiver and clench around him, drawing our low moans and growls from him. His noises always aroused you even more. But what you loved the most was his attention to detail. When you were close, he knew exactly how to send you over the edge by adding his thumb to add just the right amount of pressure and friction, and then he’d always say to you, “Come for me, hermosa.”

You cried out his name, loud enough that it echoed off the walls. You felt his hips start to move faster, helping you ride out your euphoria. Your body felt hot and cold as he continued thrusting and moving his hips in just the right pattern that left you feeling weak when he was done. You came again, just as he finally had his own release, breathing your name into your neck before kissing you and giving you your breath back.

You held him in place just for a little bit, because you loved nothing more than the feeling of having him inside of you. When he finally rolled over to pull you into his arms, you sighed and rested your head on his chest. He lightly ran his fingers up and down your side and kissed the top of your head. “I was thinking,” he said, “I really like the name Marcela.”

Your heart swelled. Since you’d been back in the States, you hadn’t really talked about what life would look like with the babies. And the fact that he was thinking of names made you love him even more. “That’s a beautiful name, Javi.”

He smiled at you and shrugged. “I just read it in a baby book the other day.”

You rolled over and leaned against his chest so you could look down at him. “You read a baby book?”

Javi laughed and started to blush. “I bought a few, actually. Look, I have absolutely no idea what to expect. Some of these books go into…” he cleared his throat and looked horrified, “detail. I had no idea a woman’s body could do so much.”

You laughed even harder and kissed him. “And think, I’ll be pushing out two of them that day.”

His eyes grew wide, almost as if he was reliving a horrific memory. “I’m so sorry I did this to you.”

You curled up against his side and ran your nails over his body. “I’m not. I already love them so much.”

Javi held you tighter and kissed your head. “You’re stronger than I’ll ever be,” he sighed, “there’s no way I’d survive childbirth.”

“You’re going to have to, because if you pass out in that room, I will kick your ass after I push them out,” you said, looking into his eyes with all seriousness.

He grabbed your hand and brought it to his mouth, gently kissing it. “I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”

You settled back against him. “So Marcela for a girl. Any boy names?”

He shook his head. “You’re having a girl.”

“Javi,” you laughed, “I’m having two. We can’t call them both Marcela.”

“Well, I did half the job. You think of another name.”

You glared at him. “I get to spend the next seven months making them.”

“To be fair,” he smiled at you with his adorable, boyish grin, “I contributed to that as well.”

You hated that his grin could get you to agree to almost anything. “I like the names Santiago and Francisco, but I had another idea.”

He cringed at both of those names. “Please tell me your idea is better than those names.”

You lightly slapped his chest. “They aren’t _that_ bad! I also like the name Jaime.” You watched him smile at you again. “Anyway, my other idea was we call him Javier.”

He laughed. “You want to name our son after me?”

“Why not?” You asked, rolling over to look at him again. “It’s a good strong name for a son to grow up and be a perfect example of a man, just like his father.”

You saw tears form in his eyes as he leaned down to kiss you. He let his head lean back against the pillow as he let out a deep breath. “Holy shit,” he laughed, “we’re going to be parents.”

You laughed with him. “Everything is going to change so fast,” you said.

You felt his body tense around you. “We don’t have _anything_ ready. No crib, no nursery. Oh god, the nursery. What colors do we want to paint it? We need car seats. Fuck. We have to buy two of _everything_.”

You leaned against him and kissed him to calm him down. “Tranquilo, mi amor. Todo va a estar bien.” He looked up at you, and all of the worry in his eyes was gone. “Connie is throwing us a baby shower where we will get a lot of that stuff. You and I will need to go register at places to pick out things we want, but they will take care of it all. And, while we do that, we are also doing our wedding registry.”

He let out a deep breath. “Oh.”

“Besides, we are painting the nursery gray with teal-blue accents.”

You felt him relax under your touch and lean up. He rested his hand on your stomach and smiled. “I want to go with you to your next appointment.”

“I have one next week,” you smiled, resting your hand on his.

He kissed your stomach lightly. “Marcela and Javier.”

“Mi amor,” you said, “we need another girl name, just in case there are two girls in there.”

“Julieta or Mariana,” he said.

“You’re oddly good at this.”

He smiled. “I just know you’re having girls.”

“Are you ready to be a father to two girls? Two mini-me’s running around.”

He looked at you for a minute, almost like he hadn’t considered that. “I’ll be so outnumbered.”

You giggled at him. “They’ll give you these same eyes,” you said, making your trademarked doe-eyed expression he loved to hate, “and you’ll be wrapped around their fingers.”

“Dios ayudame. If we have two girls, you know we aren’t stopping there until I at least get a son.”

You pulled his face to yours again, kissing him deeply. “We’re going to need a bigger house, then.”

“Lo que quieras, mi hermosa.”

**His POV**

They were sitting at the dinner table over a meal Javi attempted to cook. The further she got into the pregnancy, the more he picked up around the house. It was getting harder for her to carry things, bend over, or even move. For the last several weeks, she waddled everywhere. She hated everything about her appearance, but he loved it. She’d never looked more beautiful to him than when she did her tired waddle up the stairs for bed. Every night, he’d taken the liberty of massaging her swollen feet to help her go to sleep. Sadly, the twins would keep her up for most of the night kicking and moving. “I’m ready to get these kickboxers out of me,” she said.

He set a plate of spaghetti down in front of her and some poor excuses for meatballs. “They’re not as good as yours, but…”

She stopped him and reached for his face for a kiss. “They’re perfect.” She rested the plate on her belly and leaned back in her chair to eat. “So,” she started, “are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?”

He stared at her for a moment, unsure what to say. On multiple occasions, she had referred to herself as said elephant, and on each of those times Javi had the wrong response. This time, he decided to wait for her to continue. “Cali?” she added.

Javi dropped his head. “I can’t leave the three of you here. God knows how long I’d be gone. I told them no.”

She sighed. “Then take us with you.”

He shook his head. “No. Absolutely not. Did you hit your head so hard you _forgot_ what happened?”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Javi, ever since they offered you that job, you’ve been restless. If you want to go, I won’t stop you.”

His heart stopped. “Hermosa,” he paused, trying to find the right words, “I’m restless because I’m about to be a father of two. I would never leave you to go running back to Colombia.”

“Do you want to do this? Answer me honestly.”

He thought about it for a minute. He hated those motherfuckers and everything they stood for. So, the answer was easy. “I want to see the Cali Godfathers rot in a cell.”

“Then take the job.”

“Without you there, I’d be miserable.”

“Then take us with you. You’re running the office. You won’t be doing field work like last time. I saw the pamphlets on the apartments near the Embassy. They’re much nicer than the one we lived in before. Besides, we will be closer to the Embassy. No one is going to touch us. The girls will be young enough that we won’t have to enroll them in school, so I’ll be with them all the time. Besides, we could really use the money.”

“What about our wedding? Most of it is already paid for, and we can’t get those deposits back.”

She took a deep breath. “We will fly back for the wedding. Connie and Steve can step up in their duties for us, but for the most part everything is planned. We haven’t booked a honeymoon yet, so there’s no need to worry about that. We can take a honeymoon after you bring down Cali. Besides, that is eighteen months away. For all you know, we might be back home by then.”

He shook his head at her. “I just don’t want to relive what happened.”

“I know you’re scared, mi vida, but I also know that you want to bring those fuckers down. You and Steve both.”

He sighed. “I don’t know why they didn’t ask him,” he said.

“Javi,” she said, “if things get so bad that you’re afraid for our safety, I will fly back here and stay this time. I promise.”

“No, I will resign. End of story.”

She smiled, but that quickly turned into a look of pain. “Oof,” she said, setting her plate on the table and resting her hand on her back.

“What?” he asked, half panicked, because he already knew.

“Is the overnight bag packed?” she asked.

“It’s sitting by the door.”

She nodded and took several deep breaths. “Good. We need to go.”

“Oh shit,” he said, “okay. Um, do you need me to help you walk?”

She shook her head and stood up. She started rapidly moving to the door, faster than he had seen her move in a long time. He followed behind her, grabbing the overnight bag. 

***

Her parents rode with Chucho to the hospital. They’d been staying in town the last few weeks, waiting for their grandchildren to be born, and Chucho offered his guest room for them. Connie and Steve moved to Laredo when Steve was stationed there after Colombia, and Kate had been staying with them, doing what work she could from here. They were all waiting for them at the hospital by the time Javi and the nurse wheeled her in that direction. Javi stopped when Steve approached him to give him a reassuring hug. “I hope you slept good last night, because that was your last peaceful night,” he said.

Javi laughed. “I’m just glad you moved so close. Connie already offered free babysitting whenever we need it.”

Steve’s face instantly changed and he looked off at Y/N being pushed down the hallway. “Free. B-babysitting?”

“It comes with best man duties,” Javi added, slapping his back.

“Javi!” she barked.

“That’s my cue,” he said, running after his hermosa. He caught up to her and grabbed her hand. “You ready?”

She smiled at him and kissed his hand in hers. “With you at my side, of course.”

Ten hours of intense labor, birth, and what he was sure was a broken hand later, he was holding one of his daughters in his arms. He couldn’t stop looking between the little bundle in his arms, the bundle in hers, and her. “They’re perfect,” she whispered.

“You’re perfect,” he said, kissing her softly. “I didn’t think I could be more in love than I am right now.” A few tears ran down her face. “And, you were right.”

She smiled. “I always am, but what about now?”

“They’ve already got me wrapped around their little fingers.” He kissed Marcela on her forehead. “And you’re not dating until you’re in your thirties,” he said to both of his daughters.

Y/N let out a soft laugh and cradled Mariana closer to her. “So,” she said, looking up at Javi. “Cali?”

He gazed down at the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen, wanting to remember this moment for the rest of his life. “Are you sure you want to go all the way back down there for more bullshiiiiii-of what we went through with Escobar?”

“Nice save, mi amor,” she laughed, “and te seguiría hasta los confines de la tierra.”

He sighed. “I’ll let them know in the morning.”

Marcela whimpered and Javi held her closer to him. “Hey, mi hermosita, it’s alright. Daddy’s got you.” He lightly rocked her back and forth until she calmed again.

He then leaned down to kiss Y/N. “You are magnificent,” he said. His heart swelled so much, he thought it would burst. “Te amo más de lo que las palabras pueden describir y amo a nuestras hijas más que a nada.”

“Te amo, el amor de mi vida. Te amo mucho más que a nada.”

“Todo mi mundo está en esta habitación, and I don’t know what I would do if I lost it.”

She smiled at him. “Lucky for you, you’re stuck with us.”

Javi smiled wider than he ever had. He was filled with so much love and happiness, and the fact that she chose him over any man she could have meant everything. He really did love the three of them more than anything, so much that it hurt. This pain, though, was a good pain. He felt like his heart would bust open, overflowing with love. He looked over and saw her asleep with Mariana on her chest. He was so proud of her for being the strong, amazing, beautiful, and perfect woman she was. If he could take a picture of this scene, he would. He wanted to remember this beauty, this perfect image of unconditional love forever. “Mis hermosas,” he whispered as he kissed her head before sitting down in the chair next to her, cradling Marcela against his chest.

**Translations**

  * _Por siempre y para siempre, hermosa. - Forever and for always, beautiful._
  * _Eres más de lo que podría soñar y todo lo que siempre quiero. - You are more than I could ever dream of and all that I could ever want._
  * _Tranquilo, mi amor. Todo va a estar bien. - Relax, my love. Everything is going to be fine._
  * _Lo que quieras, mi hermosa. - Whatever you want, mi hermosa._
  * _Te seguiría hasta los confines de la tierra. - I would follow you to the ends of the earth._
  * _Te amo más de lo que las palabras pueden describir y amo a nuestras hijas más que a nada. - I love you more than words can describe and I love our daughters more than anything._
  * _Todo mi mundo está en esta habitación. - My whole world is in this room._




	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a glimpse into the life of the Peñas.

**15 Years Later  
**

Mariana was stretched out on the pool deck soaking up sun, with Olivia next to her. Marcela was helping Y/N in the garden, pulling weeds and picking vegetables while Jaime was playing catch with his little brother, Javier. It was the middle of June in Laredo, which meant that it was hot, but it was nothing compared to the heat of Colombia. A heat their children never had to experience, but heard stories about. Only the twins had ever been to the country where their parents’ story started, but they were too young to remember any of it.

Javi walked out of the barn, having just finished watering the horses, and wiped the sweat from his brow. He looked around their massive backyard with a large smile. Seeing his children made his heart swell with such happiness, that sometimes he was afraid he’d wake up and it’d all be a dream. But then, his gaze found her. She was covered in sweat and specks of dirt in her swimsuit top and sports shorts as she weeded the garden, but he’d never seen anything more beautiful. Every time he saw her, he found his footing. This was all real; she was real. Seventeen years together, fifteen years of marriage, and four kids later and he was still as in love with her as the day he saw her in that red dress. He smirked at her when she stood up and he saw the sweat glistening off her skin, dripping down between her breasts. “You checking me out, Mister?” She laughed, approaching him as she wiped her forehead with the back of her hand.

Javi smiled at her and wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close. “Siempre, mi hermosa,” he said.

She grinned at him. “I look gross right now.”

He shook his head. “No, Hermosa, you look as perfect as the day I first saw you in your apartment.”

He smiled wide at her, a few more wrinkles appeared around his eyes over the years, just like her, but he was still her Javi. She blushed at his comment and replied, “After all these years, you still make me blush.”

Javi leaned down and met his lips with hers, kissing her delicately. She reached up and lightly tugged at the hair near the nape of his neck and smiled into his kiss. “Careful,” he growled, “you know what that does to me.”

She laughed and kissed him again.

“Get a room!” Mariana shouted from the deck.

Javi looked up and smiled at his daughter before dipping Y/N and giving her a very passionate kiss. They both grinned against each other’s lips as they heard the rest of their children groan in disgust together. Marcela came over and dropped the vegetable basket on the ground in front of them. “Can’t you just wait until tomorrow? Do this when you aren’t here?” She laughed.

He looked at his eldest daughter. She was a spitting image of his wife. Honestly, both of his beautiful daughters were; his hermositas. “When you find the love of your life, you’ll understand one day. And I hope your kids are just as disturbed,” Javi laughed.

Marcela wrapped her hand around him, and he held her close. “Does that mean I can go out with Ryan when you get back?” She asked.

He looked at Y/N slightly horrified. “Ryan?”

She looked over to Marcela. “Your father and I will talk about it tonight,” she said, giving her daughter a wink. 

Marcela smiled and grabbed the basket again, heading into the house. Javi turned to his wife. “Ryan?”

She rested her hand on her hip and glared at him through her sunglasses. “I told you about him, mi amor. He plays on the baseball team and they do debate together.”

Javi’s eyes grew wide. “Is he that boy that drove here two weeks ago?” He asked, suddenly concerned, “he has a car.”

“Javi, she’s going to be sixteen in a few weeks. It’s time we start to let her grow up.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Ryan is a very sweet boy. Besides, you should count your blessings. Everyone is afraid to date the daughters of the famed DEA Agent who brought down both Pablo Escobar and the Cali Godfathers. I’m surprised Ryan worked up the nerve,” she laughed.

“He. Has. A. Car, Hermosa.”

“Good,” she said, “then we don’t have to drive them around.” She gave him her doe-eyed look he couldn’t resist.

Javi let out a long nervous breath. “Nothing was ever going to prepare me for this day. They’re growing up way too fast.”

“It seemed like just yesterday the four of us packed up and moved back to Cali.” 

He kissed her before bringing her to his side as they walked towards the house. “Speaking of packed…”

“I’m going inside to shower…” she began.

He gave her his trademarked devilish grin. “Oh?”

“You’ll get plenty of _that_ this week, mi amor.” He laughed at her. “Anyway,” she continued, “I was going to finish laundry and finish packing.”

“Well, don’t pack too many clothes,” he whispered into her neck. 

She gasped and slapped his shoulder. “Go practice with your sons. Jaime has a game tonight.”

“What time are your parents getting here?”

“They’ll be here before Jaime’s game. Dad is driving us to the airport. Steve and Connie said they’d meet us at the ballpark, since Olivia is here. They’re staying the night so we don’t have to make extra stops tomorrow. We can go straight to the airport. And then, this time tomorrow the four of us will be sitting on a cruise ship sipping cocktails.”

Javi smiled. They made a point to do trips with The Murphys as often as they could, especially since the girls were so close. But then, every summer, the four of them would escape for a week sans kids. This year, they decided on a cruise to celebrate The Peñas’ fifteenth wedding anniversary. Steve actually suggested it, and the girls were sold. Javi was obviously eager to get away, and wherever his hermosa wanted to go, he would follow. 

***

It was late after Jaime’s game, and the adults were sitting on the deck. Y/N’s parents turned in early, so that left Javi, Y/N, Steve, and Connie. Javi had her pulled into his lap, hand wrapped around her waist as they sat laughing about old times. Both Javi and Steve’s beers ran out, and so she and Connie offered to run inside and fetch them some. Steve waited until they were gone before he said, “Do you ever feel like you’re living in a dream?”

Javi nodded. “Every damn day.” They sat in silence for a minute. “You know, I never thanked you,” he said.

“For what?” Steve asked.

Javi took a deep breath and sighed. “For everything you did that day,” he added. They never talked about that day. Despite the fact she survived, he never wanted to relive it.

“It’s no big deal, man. You would have done the same thing.”

“Steve, if you weren’t there keeping a level head and doing what I should have, she might not have made it. I owe you everything.”

Steve smiled at him. “I’d do anything for you two. Besides,” he laughed, “It’s in the handbook. It says your partner has your back when you get shot, your wife gets kidnapped, when you’re getting married, but tells you when you’re being a dumbass.”

Javi laughed at Steve. “It all worked out, didn’t it? Even after you threatened me to leave her alone.”

Connie and Y/N rejoined them. “I knew you wouldn’t listen,” Steve said.

“Does he ever?” She said, handing Javi his beer before returning to his lap. 

Connie grinned. “Not as long as I’ve known him.”

“He called her ‘forbidden fruit’ the first time I said to back off.”

She turned to look at him. Her eyes rolled as she looked down at his big grin on his face. “Forbidden fruit?”

“Damn right,” he said, his grin going into that same devilish look he always had. 

She lightly kissed his lips. “Who knew I’d marry someone so cheesy?”

“Solo para ti, Hermosa.”

Steve laughed. “So, Javi, Connie tells me Marcela has a date?”

“Thanks for the reminder, dick.”

Giggling, Connie said, “When Olivia invited her first date over, Steve wore his badge.”

“I sure did,” he said, tipping his bottle at Javi, “he had her home fifteen minutes before curfew.”

Javi smiled. “You wanna have a barbecue that night. Two DEA Agents might have him back here fifteen minutes after they leave.”

“Shooting some clay birds while we wait.”

Y/N looked at Connie, shaking her head. “You two are insufferable. Ryan is a good boy.”

“No,” Javi said, “Dusty, is a good boy.” Motioning to the dog at their feet. “Ryan is a boy.”

They laughed. “And she’s our daughter,” Y/N said, “I do believe the first time we went out, your persistence in the backseat got you nowhere.”

Steve chuckled and nodded. “I believe she called you harmless at one point.”

Javi glared at him. “Fuck you, Murphy.”

Y/N smiled and ran her hand up and down his back. “He was! Connie and I were dying over him practically tripping over himself. He could hardly form sentences during that car ride.”

“In my defense,” Javi said, “it worked.” He motioned to her in his lap.

“Three weeks later,” Steve added.

“Again, fuck you, Murphy.”

Steve finished his beer and stood up. “Well, now that Javi has told me to fuck off twice, I’m heading to bed. See you bright and early tomorrow.” Connie got up to follow him, but he stopped at the door. “Happy Anniversary, you guys.”

Javi held his beer up to Steve and Y/N smiled as they retired for the night. “It’s hard to believe it’s been fifteen years,” Javi said, finishing his beer.

She turned in his lap, so she was straddling him as she ran her hands over his chest and shoulders. “You know,” she grinned, “that night at the club, I only danced with Rodriguez to piss you off.”

“Oh, it was obvious, Hermosa. Which is why I danced with that nurse.”

“I won that game,” she added, kissing him.

“You always win.” He returned her kiss. “I did always wonder about something. What did you tell Kate about me before we got together?” His hermosa blushed and looked away. “Now you’re embarrassed? I would think what we did last week in the shower would have been more embarrassing?”

She laughed and pushed on him. “After the night of the club, I told her that I had this neighbor who was hands down the most attractive man I have ever seen. I told her while we danced, I’d never felt so alive before and that I would look for any excuse just to have your hands on me. I also told her that it was so obvious you looked for similar excuses to touch me. So, when you picked me up and tossed me in that Jeep, she made a comment about it. When we got back to my apartment, she told me that she’d never seen someone look at anyone the way you did at me. As angry as you were about Lara, she watched you sneak glimpses of me, and vice versa. She was so annoyed it took you as long as it did to do anything about it.”

He laughed, and ran his hands down her back, cupping her bottom to pull her closer to him. Javi looked up into her eyes with so much love and adoration as she returned his gaze. Her hands rested in his hair, holding him steady - tethering him to his reality. He had a few tears in his eyes. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you, Hermosa.”

“Me neither. It scared me at first, because my heart ached to have you. And I can’t imagine it any other way.”

“El mejor tipo de dolor,” he smiled.

She leaned down and rubbed her nose on his. “Sí, y como me duele,” she said, smiling before she kissed him just as passionately and deeply as they did the first time all those years ago.

**Translations**

  * _Siempre - Always._
  * _Solo para ti. - Only for you._
  * _El mejor tipo de dolor - The best type of pain._
  * _Sí, y como me duele - Yes, and oh how it hurts._




End file.
